Trenale Guardian Issue 1

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Dear Readers

Welcome to the very first issue of the Trenale Guardian, a local newspaper dedicated to bringing you the freshest and most accurate up to date news in around the town of Trenale. We strive to provide you with everything you need to know about the on goings of the world around us, with weather up dates, advice columns and opinion pages, this paper is made for the people.

What you will not find in this newspaper is anything incorrect or unverified by the sources it concerns. This is NOT a gossip magazine or rag that seeks only to humiliate and provide shoddy statements that could be held for liable in court. Everything we print is truth and it is our aim to keep it that way.

So I invite you to join us in reading the very first issue and here’s to many more.

Yours,

Mr D. Walt
Chief Editor

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Over the past few weeks there has been an increase in Dragon attcks on the outskirts of Trenale, an increase that has not been seen now for ten years. Yesterday a young girl aged 20 was seen approaching one of the dragons by a Mr W. Cutter, 31, who watched in horror as a large Green Snouted Dragon that had been lying in wait of prey rose up and swallowed the young girl whole. In a statement to the Trenale Guardian Mr W. Cutter said, “It just came outta no where. And it just gobbled her right up, right there in front of me. I ran towards it with my axe but it just took off, into the sky.”

Artists Impression

The girls family has asked authorities for their daughter not to be named in association with the investigation due to the terrible distress this incident has caused them. They are however working with the authorities to find the dragon and are offering a reward for any Knight or Prince brave enough to search for the terrible beast. When asked if they believed their daughter was alive the father replied, “If she was swallowed whole then there may still be a chance. You hear about it all the time, these young girls taken away or swallowed by beasts, some of them come back alive. We still have hope.”

This however is another attack in a long line of terrible incidents which includes young girls and boys alike. Only the week before this incident, another young boy was taken by a Black Tailed Northern Dragon, and the week before that two young twins by a double headed Puce nostril Dragon from the East. Some have attributed the increase in attacks to the lack of Heroes, Princes and Knights willing to fight the beasts, and to Dragon rights campaigners who believe it is cruelty to harm such majestic creatures. Mr J. Hurt, 54, who has been campaigning to have Dragons classed as an Endangered Species and thus on the black list for hunting said, “Dragons have minds, they have hearts and they have souls. They are just as human as you and I. Only they breathe fire. It doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to live, a right to survive.”

The Authorities and a specialist team from the Grayle Corporation are working in unison to find the Dragon and to create a plan to better protect the town from such attacks. When asked if they will kill the Dragon when they find it it, the Grayle Corporation replied, “We shall do everything in our power to ensure the safety of the young girl.”

If there are any willing Princes, Knights or Heroes who wish to help the authorities in this hunt or any witnesses with any other information please contact the Grayle Corporation.

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It has been announced by the Grayle Corporation that it will be spending a billion trenale dollars on a total refurbishment of the shops located in Trenale City Mall. Over the past year the Mall has been feeling the effects of the recession with shop closures and rising prices. The upkeep of the mall itself has also been falling in to disrepair as the cost to keep the staff or hire the builders for maintenance have escalated to a point where they could no longer afford it.

Now with the help of the Grayle Corporation things are finally looking better for the city mall as they have contracted an entire refurbishment of the building, and promise to foot the bill for whatever it costs. The owner of the City Mall, Ms B. Tyra, 35, said, “It was getting to a point where I thought we would have to shut the mall down completely. And then out of nowhere GC came out and rescued us. I feel like a true Damsel in Distress finding my Knight in shining armour.”

The refurbishment will include a redesign of all the shops offering more floor space, more storage room and better, heating and electricity for all. The lighting and tiling of the mall will also be redesigned to be more appealing to the eye as well as installing escalators and lifts to provide better access for shoppers. It is unclear which company will be working with the GC on the refurbishment but in an email from the anonymous chairman of the Grayle Corporation it states, “we are delighted to help our fellow citizens of Trenale and look forward to providing a better shopping experience for all. We hope there will be minimal disruption for Shop owners and customers alike as we attempt to do all the refurbishment in a night.”

On top of this total refurbishment, there will also be a chance for budding shop owners to start their own businesses as the anonymous chairman also stated in the same e-mail, “We want to bring the business back to Trenale, to really have it thriving again, and to do this we are looking for new entrepreneurs to help us. Whether they are those that dream of opening their own clothes or music shop, to those wishing to pent heir own little café, we appeal to you and are willing to help.”

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Crime is on the rise and here in Trenale the authorities are doing everything in their power to combat that. Whether its in the dark shady docks, or outskirts of the town, the police force will be present to stop crime and catch the criminals. With recent funding they are now able to increase they’re forces and are looking for willing and able young men and women to join their ranks to fight the ongoing battle against the criminal underworld. Chief of Police C. Gordon, 43, stated, “For too long have the criminals and villains been able to wander around this town unchecked. I look to put an end to that.”

The recently promoted Chief of Police made ripples last week when he announced that he would attempt to introduce a curfew for those under the age of 16. He believed that allowing youngsters of that age around the town after a certain time encouraged them to engage in crime, that some of these young people even engaged in deals down by the docks. Another issue he wished to tackle was underage drinking in the many bars in the Trenale area. “I see too many young people staggering around the streets where they could be hurt, under the influence of alcohol. I see too many young people engaging in fights, under the influence of alcohol. I see far too many people riding horses and getting in to accidents, under the influence of alcohol. It ends here.”

The increase in the police force allows the Chief of Police to implement these new rules which he hopes will help be enforced by the bar owners and citizens of the town of Trenale. “It’s time we worked together to make this a better and safer place.”

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Music sensation Gingerbread has announced today that they are retiring their sweet covered group and moving on in their solo careers. Gingerbread who started singing their sugar coated love songs last year has stated that the pressure has got too much and the tensions have been running too high which has led to this announcement. Acknowledged band leader Jelly Baby, 19, stated, “it’s been a great year, and I love these guys, but there comes a time when you just have to go it on your own, to make your own music bread, you know?”

However, Jelly Baby’s band members appear to have a different opinion as Sour Plum, 20, said, “I cant wait to get away from them all. It’s been hell this past year and to be honest they’ve been holding me back. I want to make real music, not some cheesy auto tune rubbish. But real hard hitting stuff.”

Fans were devastated at the announcement as one young fan, Jonathon Beaver, 12, who’s favourite was Jelly Baby said, “I thought they would never give up. They were my inspiration, I wanted to make music just like them. Now I just don’t know.”

The manager of the pop tart stars, Simone Towel, age unknown, stated that she looked forwards to helping in the solo careers of the Gingerbreads, and that she would be with them every step of the way. Jelly Baby and Sour Plum have already been signed on to Towel Records, however the future is looking bleak for the other Gingerbread members, Red Vine and Lucky Charm who have yet to be signed to another record company.

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It was the wedding of the year, and was a surprise for everyone including the bride herself, and had a beautiful fairytale ending. It wasn’t long ago that Lord Robin of Locksley and Lady Marian were wed in the chapel in a truly magnificent wedding which will be hard to beat by any other forthcoming nuptials. Lord Robin Locksley of Nottingham had been planning in secret to prepare a wedding for Lady Marian, before he had even proposed to her. Enlisting the help of Lady Marian’s Best Friend Princess Guinevere of the Summer Country, the two planned a marvellous and beautiful wedding designed to appeal to the Lady Marian.

However on arriving at the Chapel, still unaware of the delight that awaited her, Lady Marian was initially not impressed, even after having her wedding dress, a beautiful yet simple ivory dress with a green trim and embroidery to it, magically bestowed on her by Princess Guinevere’s servant and apparent mage. Instead, the beautiful Lady Marian stormed the Chapel demanding Lord Locksley, dressed in an elegant suit with a green waistcoat and cravat, explain himself. After some heart wrenching speeches by the two there was not a dry eye in the church as the two sweethearts finally stepped up to the alter to be married by mutual friend, Friar Tuck.

There were many notable appearances at the wedding as well as the lovely couple, the Best Man was Lord Locksley’s long time friend and companion Much, with Princess Guinevere filling the roll of Maid of Honour. Present in the congregation was one Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot, close friend of Lord Locksley, and many other friends of the lovely couple.

The reception was held in one of the Royal venues, usually frequented by only the highest society but which opened it’s doors to Mr and Mrs Locksley and friends. In an interview at the reception Princess Guinevere said, “I am so happy they finally got together. So much planning and effort when in to it that I’m glad they got their fairytale wedding, they truly deserve each other and I am happy for them. Congratulations.”

When asked if it was difficult keeping the wedding a secret from her best friend Princess Guinevere replied, “Incredibly. Every decision I made on behalf of Marian was tinged with that little bit of worry that she would hate it. I tried to include her in it as much as possible without her knowing, but in the end I just had to take the risk. I will never be doing it again, that much I do know.”

Lord and Lady Locksley have now settled in the town of Trenale and are blissfully setting out to enjoy their marriage together. From all of us here at the Trenale Guardian Congratulations Mr and Mrs Locksley!

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As we head in to Summer the weather is beginning to pick up and soon it will be time to break out the sun hats and lotion for we will all be walking on sunshine. The temperature is set to go sky high and so all you beach lovers get yourselves down there and grab a spot. To add to this glorious sunshine the winds will be providing a gentle breeze to cool us down just enough when we all get a little to hot for comfort. Even the evenings will have a heat to them as we move in to night time and it appears the heat from the day hasn’t quite worn off.

However enjoy it whilst it lasts as we only have a few weeks of this before the heavens open and we all get a little taste on the Monsoon.

Happy Sunbathing!

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Have You Got What It Takes???

Trenale Guardian is looking for creative and intelligent young people to join the ranks of the Newspaper room. Offering the opportunity of a life time, could you be the next headline reporter? The next front page photographer? The successful applicants will be given an extraordinary monthly salary as well as the networking opportunities for bigger and better things.

Those interested must provide Trenale Guardian, by e-mail (or by Clicking the PM button at the side) with a report or photograph of an event happening in and around Trenale. It can be of anything, so long as it is interesting we may print it and you may be the next employ at Trenale Guardian.

Don’t wait, Apply now!

Need Promotion?

Want to get your Business noticed?

Looking to Sell, Buy or Steal?

Or are you just searching for the one true love?

E-Mail (Or PM) Trenale Guardian Today to see your Advert Here!

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Does exactly what it says on the Tin!

Write in to Trenale Guardian with your views and opinions on the stories inside. Or if you’re just looking to vent, or maybe thank someone, or tell that secret someone that you care whilst remaining anonymous, this is the place to do it!

Just E-mail (Or PM) Trenale Guardian

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Got a Problem?

Cant talk to your friends, family or teachers?

Post it here and we have trained and intelligent experts ready and waiting to help you out. No problem is too embarrassing, too shaking for these guys, they are ready for anything.

So Drop us an e-mail, the Doctors are in.

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Take Part in the Trenale Guardian Quiz by E-mailing (Or PMing) your answers!

1. When did Jack the Ripper strike fear in Whitechapel, London with his serial killings?

2. Who wrote ‘Gone With the Wind?’?

3. What is the correct term for a group of crows?

4. Why did Henry the 8th of England establish himself as the head of the Church of England?

5. Which continent is A.Prat on?

6. Where was Lady Gaga born?

7. Who made improvements to the Newcomen Steam Engine?

8. Who Directed the 1997 film Titanic?

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Trenale Guardian is conducting a Photography competition each week for it’s readers to take part in it. Each week a theme will be given and from the entries there will be three winners, placed in first second and third place, with prizes.

Next weeks theme is; Fire.

Be Creative!