Wine and Whine (Dio)

[Hermes]

Hermes had seen the cast list. Hermes was not pleased. First of all, Hermes didn't even know Dionysus had arrived and, as his almost father...brother father...whatever, he would have thought he would have sought him out. Then again, Hermes kept forgetting he was undercover. Dio could have very well not have known it was him. Still, he stared at the list. Hermes didn't mind theater. He was the patron saint of actors. However, he stayed well out of it when Apollo was involved. He was the god of all theater and also the worst person he knew. Him combined with the drama of Dionysus sounded like a nightmare. Still, getting cast as Eugene in Grease seemed like an insult. He deserved so much better even if he didn't want to be in the show. Had they really simply cast him because he was a student? If it had been up to Apollo surely he would have been the lead after his stunning performance as Mercutio. This was unacceptable. Either Dio knew he was hear and was punishing him for some reason, or he didn't know and it was Hermes duty to convince him to give him a better role. If he was going to do it, he was going to be the star.

In a huff, Hermes fixed his glasses that he did not need, on his face and marched into the theater. It was all he could do to keep from sprouting wings on his heels and soaring in a fury. He tried to remember what Mercutio was supposed to be like. He was supposed to be kind and gentle and it was important to keep the secret so he didn't get mobbed for being a shoddy headmaster, or mobbed into taking over as headmaster. He would probably be better than whoever was there now.

The point is, the casting is unacceptable regardless of how Mercutio would act. Dio had never met Mercutio, perhaps he happened to be just like irritated Hermes sometimes.

"Eugene?!" Hermes boomed to the theater in general. Unacceptable. absolutely Unacceptable.

[Dionysus]

Dionysus was well aware that 'Mercutio' was in fact his brother. The brother who had been entrusted with his safekeeping after his father couldn't keep him safe from his step-mother. The brother who had decided raising him as a girl was the best way to protect him. The brother who'd given Dio some serious identity issues. The brother who, despite all that, had still managed to get him, quite literally, torn to pieces by Hera's cronies. The brother he loved like a father - which was a hell of a lot more than any of his other brothers or even his actual father - but who he couldn't help but harbour rather a lot of resentment towards.

He made him think he was a girl. He failed to protect him from literally being ripped to pieces. He had to be reborn from his father's thigh - again. Was it really any surprise he had issues?!

And so, yes, perhaps the casting was a little bit of an insult. A lot of an insult. All right, it was a big ol' deliberate slap in the face. But it was making Dionysus feel so much better. It wasn't as if he was going to punish his brother-dad forever. Just during this show. And then probably with something else after. And maybe one or two more things after that.

I did mention he got him torn limb from limb, right? With the added humiliation of being dressed in a bright pink floral dress?

Dionysus was rehearsing when 'Mercutio' stormed in on him. He was right in the middle of one of his best and most dramatic pieces, so he was not impressed to be interrupted. But, Zeus-dammit, he wasn't going to let a little thing like an enraged brother stop him from a performance! Glaring at the interuptee, he sighed loudly and dramatically.

"I'm going to have to start again now! How am I expected to work in these conditions?!" He took a deep breath, readied himself by looking up towards the lighting rig hanging over the auditorium, his hand outstretched, palm upwards and began.

"TO BE?! Or not to be? THAT... Is the question."

[Hermes]

"You are not expected to work in these conditions, you are expected to cease working" Hermes stormed, folding his arms. You couldn't practically see the dark clouds about his head. He was hoping his words would cut off his speech. Of course he was practicing Shakespeare like he'd been expecting Mercutio to pay him a visit. Hermes rolled his eyes. What a little shit. Hermes liked him better as a little girl.

Hermes phone kept buzzing, likely Martha trying to remind him that this was a bad idea. Hermes didn't care. He was tired of play acting Mercutio for everyone. There was a large chance Dionysus already knew he was Hermes anyhow, what was the point of hiding from him? Of course, he'd have to think of a way to make him promise to keep it a secret, but they could cross that bridge when they came to it. Right now Hermes would really like to know just what he was thinking. Or, why he was at Tintagel at all. Also, did he bring any wine?

[Dionysus]

Pausing in his recital again, Dionysus slowly and ever so dramatically lowered his eyes to the boy shouting at him. Folding his arms across his chest he mirrored Hermes' body language, standing in the middle of stage in his spotlight and raising an eyebrow at Hermes.

How to play this? To reveal he knew who 'Mercutio' really was, or to play his game for a little while? Unfolding his arms, he clicked his fingers, a glass of wine appearing in his hand. He took a sip, his eyes not leaving Hermes as he extended the dramatic silence for far longer than was necessary.

"Well, I have ceased working." He said eventually, projecting his voice so it filled the auditorium. He knew there wasn't an audience, but that wasn't going to stop him behaving as if he was in the middle of a dramatic play or soap opera. Life was so much more fun when there was drama. He held his other hand out, a clipboard appearing in it, and he lowered his gaze to look down the list. "Eugene, Eugene... ah, yes. Mr Mercutio." He looked back up at Hermes. "Is there a problem with my casting, Mr Mercutio?"

[Hermes]

Hermes looked around when Dionysus shouted as though he was speaking to more than just him. Was someone else here? Impossible, Hermes would have noticed by now, or sensed if someone was hiding. He rolled his eyes when he realized Dio was just being dramatic. It had been a while since they had seen each other, yet he still shouldn't have been surprised. The man practically invented drama. Well, he invented wine. That was a much better accomplishment anyhow. Theater reminded him too much of his annoying brother.

Hermes walked down the aisle slowly, narrowing his eyes as he approached the stage. Was there a problem with the casting? Was Dio trying to trick him? Was the god of wine trying to trick the god of liars? OR was he really ignorant? It seemed a clever coincidence that he would be cast as Eugene if Dio did not know it was him. Mercutio was studious looking, sure, but he wasn't Eugene. He was, at the very least, a hot nerd. He could not play Eugene, it was an insult!

Hermes considered for a moment, weighing his options. If he chose to play the game and keep himself concealed there would be one less person running around with his secret. Yet, he had no real guarantee that Dio didn't already know and was trying to play with him. If he revealed himself, not only could he try to intimidate Dio into changing his choice, but he could drop the innocent act for a time. Might as well just jump straight to the point.

"Don't toy with me, Dionysus. Or are you really as dumb as The Sun?" Hermes edged, not totally revealing his secret, but urging Dio to confirm his identity with the help of a healthy insult.

[Dionysus]

One eyebrow raised, an expression of calm on his face as he slowly sipped his wine, watching Hermes walk down the aisle. There was nothing like a dramatic silence to build the tension, to increase the anticipation, to make the audience start shifting in their seats as they became increasingly uncomfortable. It was such a shame there wasn't an audience for this.

He was so close to keeping his cool, keeping up the act and giving a first class performance. But then 'Mercutio' had to go and not only insult his intelligence, but insult in by comparing him to the golden boy. With an exclamation, he hurled the clipboard at Hermes, scowling at him. "How dare you?!" He shouted, taking a few steps towards the edge of the stage, closer to Hermes. "First you question my casting, which is stellar, I'll have you know, and then you compare my intelligence to his? What, being torn apart wasn't enough for you, you have to rub salt into the wounds as well?"

Still scowling, he took a couple of breaths to calm himself, and a sip of wine, glaring at Hermes. "Or are you just here to force me into another dress?"

[Hermes]

Hermes eyes widened for a moment as the clipboard came right for his face. It had been a while since he'd had to deal with Dio's dramatic outbursts. Maybe he thought he'd matured a bit in the years they'd been apart, like fine wine, but apparently not. He was nearly smacked in the fact before a set of wings appeared on either of his ankles and he darted into the air and out of the way. Watching the board clatter to the ground, he swiveled his head to look at Dio and roll his eyes.

"Oh my, always so dramatic" Hermes lamented, waving his hand in the air. The phone in his pocket flew up and grew into Hermes traditional golden Caduceus and landed comfortably in his hand. George and Martha, his two giant green snakes and companions circled around it and gave Hermes very pointed looks. Hermes ignored them. They probably weren't too happy with the fact that they'd had to remain on silent in his pocket for a good long while now. Hermes floated closer to Dionysus and sat, cross legged, as if there was a chair beneath him.

Hermes couldn't help, but laugh when Dio mentioned his time as a girl. "Oh, but you look so pretty in a dress!" He said, so amused he nearly forgot why he had come at all. Despite everything, it was rather good to see Dio alive and well after...all that business with the Titans. "I'm just here to insist you change the casting and then I promise I'll be out of your hair until the next time I need something" Hermes smirked, winking at him. Oh it felt so good to be himself. He instantly felt lighter, and not just because of the wings.

[Dionysus]

Letting out a petulant, wordless exclamation of frustration as Hermes' stupid wings appeared and he avoided the clipboard, Dio actually stamped his foot, beating his fist against his thigh. It was so infuriating when he did that. Once, just once, Dionysus would like to throw something at one of his Godly family members and actually have that thing make contact with it's target. It would be so much more dramatic and satisfying than have them all avoid things every single time.

His scowl deepened at Hermes lament, a perfect petulant pout appearing on his face as he breathed heavily through his nose. "Hello? God of Drama?" He said in a mocking voice, rolling his eyes at the God who'd raised him all those years ago, only to fail at the one task he'd been set - keeping Dionysus alive. He'd probably have been able to forgive him the dresses if Hermes hadn't failed to stop him from being ripped into pieces - after all, he knew he probably had his early years living as a girl to thank for his incredible portrayal of Ophelia. But he wasn't going to let Hermes get away that easily. After all, being torn to shreds had been exceptionally painful. "Of course I looked pretty. I literally look incredible in everything. But that's not the point and you know it."

Still sulking, he nodded at the two snakes as Hermes' phone changed. "Martha, George." He said in a sulky voice, before returning his attention to Hermes himself. He laughed out loud as Hermes made his request, doubling over and slapping his knee melodramatically, before straightening up and wiping his eye with exaggerated mirth. "Oh, is that all? Just to insist I change the casting, well, if that's all you're after..." He snapped his fingers and the clipboard reappeared in his hand, the wine disappearing and being replaced by a pen, and he moved as if to cross the name 'Mercutio' from the list. As the pen touched the paper he stopped, and looked back at Hermes. "You know what, though? I just can't." He said thoughtfully, shaking his head. "It would just throw off the whole casting, and since the cast list has been publicised..." He shrugged, a smug smile on his face. "There's really nothing I can do."

The clipboard vanished again, and the wine glass reappeared as he looked Hermes over. "Your disguise is rubbish, by the way. Really, has anyone actually fallen for it, Mercutio?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. "I knew it was you instantly. You'd never pass for a Mercutio, apart from anything else, Mercutio had class. Perhaps you should have worn a dress."

[Hermes]

Hermes sigh and checked an invisible watch on his wrist as Dio went on about his station as the god of drama and the fact that he looked great in everything. Blah blah, of course he thought these things. In fact these were thing Hermes may have said himself. One might be surprised to discover Dionysus was not his actual son based only upon their high opinion of themselves. Most of the Greek gods were pretty dramatic, but no one could deny Dionysus took the cake. He was not only dramatic, but revealed in the drama of life. He loved drama almost as much as Hermes loved playing tricks on people.

"Dionyssssussss" Martha hissed, turning her yellow eyes toward Dio and nodding slightly. "Do you have any ratssss? I'm sssstarving!" George complained, looking forlorn. Hermes rolled his eyes. George was mostly useless, but Hermes kept him around for laughs. Not to mention two snakes looked much cooler than one.

Hermes narrowed his eyes as Dio seemingly agreed to change the casting just like that. There was no possible way it would be that easy. He was probably leading up to a dramatic punchline. It would mostly futile to try a stop him. "Oh my, what a shock" Hermes said when Dio reached the bit where he said he couldn't. "You and I both know there is something you can do about it, you're just being problematic on purpose" Hermes said, betraying a little pout.

He listened as he insulted him, but was careful not to take any of it to heart. It was like being called silly names by a child. "Oddly, only my children seem to recognize me" Hermes mused on his disguise "And obviously I'd look delightful in a dress, can't you just picture it?"

[Dionysus]

Almost exactly mirroring Hermes' expression, a sign of just how much of Hermes' had been imprinted on his mannerisms in those early years when Hermes almost solely had the role of Dio's Dad, Dio rolled his eyes at George's question. "No, George, I'm not the god of rats, I'm the god of wine." He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He attempted to hid a smug smile as Hermes pouted at him, enjoying the hold he had over his Brother-Dad just a little more than he probably should have been. But was it really all that surprising, that he was making the most of having a little bit of power over the god who'd failed so spectacularly to keep him safe? There was definite justification for revenge here. Hermes was just lucky that Dio still had far too big of a soft spot for him - otherwise he'd have gone full underworld levels of revenge a long time ago.

"Nope, definitely can't change it." He said in a light voice, smirking as he sipped his wine. "I mean, I did just lose my star so I suppose there's a gap in the casting there..." He paused as if he was considering it, hoping to get Hermes hopes up before he dashed them completely and utterly. "But, no, you'd make a terrible Danny. I'll just have to promote my Kenickie and then..." he pretended to think again, "Oh I know, that gorgeous Norse, what's his name... Baldr. He'd make a wonderful Kenickie. Don't know how I didn't spot that one before!" He smirked at Hermes again. "So, nope, nothing I can do!"

He raised an eyebrow skeptically at Hermes. "You wouldn't look as good as me." He said sullenly. He might not be happy with his formative years' outfits, but that didn't mean he was going to let anyone think they'd look better than he did. He slayed in drag. "And... hang on a minute, how many children do you have here?"

[Hermes]

George leaned his head against the caduceus dramatically when Dio didn't offer up any rats. Hermes, on the other hand, was too focused on Dio to notice. He began to narrow his eyes dangerously as Dio mentioned his star needing to be recast. Hermes was not an idiot. If the conversation up until this point was any indication, Dio was simply trying to toy with him. What a brave effort to try and lead him on. Dio was attempting to dabble in his field. It would have been cute if Hermes was starting to tire of it. Silly play or not, he was insulting him with this role. Hermes didn't appreciate it.

Hermes uncrossed his legs and began to float closer to Dio, careful not to land and appear shorter than him. He'd rather hover just high enough that Dio had to continue to look up at him. As he should. By the time the god of wine mentioned the role going to a Norse, Hermes had a rather ugly look on his face. Well, as ugly as Hermes could get. This was all fun and game until you brought a whole other religion into it. Was Dio really so vexed that he'd give the role to a rival rather than his own family? Speaking of family...

"Irrelevant" Hermes said in regards to his question about children. He waved a hand, but kept a glare locked on Dionysus. "This is all very cute, Dionysus" Hermes said, but his sharp tongue didn't sound convincing "But I'm afraid you don't play the game very well. Either give me a better role or give me a reason to do it." Hermes edged. Zeus forbid Dio forget his place. Hermes had been a god long before he had ever been born.

[Dionysus]

He could see Hermes getting more and more frustrated, and Dionysus couldn't help but feel a thrill of adrenaline. He knew full well how dangerous it was to anger a god - hell, enough people had felt his wrath after angering him, and he hadn't had nearly enough time to practice as Hermes had. Of course, he knew he should probably stop, give his brother-dad what he wanted and let them all move on happily with their lives.

But that would be so far from dramatic, Dionysus simply wasn't capable of even considering that as an option.

And as he heard the sharpness in Hermes' voice, he felt his own anger and irritation beginning to rise. He was sick of all the other gods feeling that they could just boss him around and get what they wanted. He was sick of being the doormat of Olympus, pushed around, talked down to, and treated as if he was lesser than the others just because his mother had been a mortal. So what? He was still a god, he was still immortal - he was just as good as any of them. Plus, he'd invented wine. What had any of them done?

His jaw set as he turned and looked at Hermes, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow at Hermes, his own irritation showing on his face. "I play the game just as well as anyone else, brother." He said coldly, narrowing his eyes slightly. "And this -" he stretched out his arms, gesturing the stage and auditorium around them. "This is my game. And I make the rules here, Hermes. So you'll play Eugene, and that is the end of this conversation."

[Hermes]

Oh boy, Dio was really sticking to his guns. Hermes had honestly expected him to back down by now. Why was Dionysus so invested in making him play the role? Certainly he could find someone else to fill it. Hermes didn't want to not be in the production necessarily, he was a patron of thespians after all, but he'd choose not to rather than embarrass himself. Not being in the show would reveal him as Hermes to those he was protecting his identity from anyhow, it would be easy to think studious Mercutio wasn't up for the attention.

Hermes moved even closer as Dio defended his stage and his territory. Hermes liked a good fight, even if the other side was being a inconsiderate child. Hermes wasn't quite ready to physically fight Dio. Hermes generally preferred tricks and elegant arguments to fist fighting anyhow. Threatening Dio hadn't worked, but he was an idiot if he thought simply telling Hermes to do something was going to work.

Hermes tipped his head to one side slightly, irritation still etched on his face as Martha slithered onto his shoulders, peering nervously between her master and the god of wine. However, the wheels were turning behind Hermes eyes. How to proceed from here?

"Alright Dionysus" Hermes said, though his words were heavy with warning. "I'll play your game, but only if you convince me to do so. Give me one reason why I should participate at all if I'm not given a decent part?"