Hey Brother (Baldr)

[Hodr]

Hodr had his staff in hand as he stood at the party. He was listening to the partygoers as they passed by. This place couldn't be as large as Asgard surely, but he still hadn't been able to find his brother. It probably would have been helpful if he knew what his brother looked like by other people's standards. I would help if he wasn't blind, but that wasn't something that was likely to change any time soon. Oh well. He would find Baldr at some point.

In the meantime someone pressed a drink into his hand while he was here he might as well try and enjoy himself. Whatever this drink was it wasn't mead which was disappointing, but it would do for another. He knocked into people as he wandered. He couldn't tell where the crowd was. "Sorry," he muttered to people as he passed. "Didn't see you there." He shrugged. Some people patted him kindly on the shoulder. Some people shouted obscene things at him. This party was turning out to be exactly like the parties in Asgard. And Hodr had never really liked those parties. But Baldr did. Then again, he'd always been the Golden Boy of Asgard.

His staff thudded on something made of flesh and bone. "Sorry," he muttered once again. "You shouldn't leave your feet around for blind men to nearly trip over."

[Baldr]

Baldr was a big fan of parties. Always had been, really. What wasn't to like about large gatherings of people who would tell you how glorious and amazing you were? Parties in Asgard were especially amazing, and for a while there, had usually ended up with everyone gathering around to throw stuff at him, which had been even more fun until a certain trickster god just had to ruin everything.

He was drinking a very large mug of beer, which was not mead, but it wasn't terrible, although it was pretty weak. Never mind that, though, he could just drink more of it to make up for the fact. He was taking a good long swig of the beer when someone tripped over his feet. Baldr looked up to apologize, because he was a polite person, but as soon as he saw who it was that had tripped over him, he found himself fumbling for words.

"Hodr," he said, leaping to his feet, his giant mug of beer tossed to one side, spilling out somewhere on the ground a few feet away. "Brother!" He grabbed his twin and pulled him against his chest fiercely, one hand coming up to clasp the back of Hodr's neck as he embraced him. "Hodr, my brother," he repeated, just in case that message hadn't gotten across the first time. He had so many questions...why was Hodr here, why was he not back at home, with their mother? How had he even gotten here? Was Hel involved somehow? She had to be, right? "I never thought I would see you again," he said, suddenly emotional.

[Hodr]

The voice that replied was one that Hodr knew. He knew that voice better than he knew anyone else. It was the voice that belonged to his most constant companion as children. It was the voice of his most trusted friend and advisor and confidant. It was the voice of the person he loved most in all the nine realms. It was the voice of the person he had killed. "Baldr," he breathed.

Hodr wrapped his arms around his twin, potentially accidentally thumping him in the head with his staff. Hodr couldn't quite tell. Baldr would forgive him for that though. "I'm sorry," he said, guilt making him squeeze his brother tighter. "I'm so sorry." It was all he could say to his brother. That he was sorry. He was sorry for so many things. An apology couldn't come close to the remorse that he felt. This was his brother. The only person who sought out his company, the only one who never forgot him and he had killed him in an attempt to not feel left out of the game. He had done this and now neither of them could return to Asgard or their mother.

Hodr pulled away and held Baldr's shoulders. "Let me look at you," he said, aiming for a lighthearted joke, but failing. He squeezed Baldr's shoulders. He felt alive. Perhaps Hel had given them both life. For Baldr this was a chance at redemption. "I was killed for your death but Hel let me come and find you. She let me come to apologize."

[Baldr]

Emotion felt different here, Baldr realized. It felt like it could actually do you some harm, which was very unsettling when you were used to being invincible to pretty much everything. He was feeling a lot of things in that moment - there was a rush of love and affection and selfish gratitude, but along with that there was a devastating undercurrent of guilt. Hodr was here, instead of Asgard, because of him. Hodr had apparently died because of him. It felt like he was drowning. Not that he knew what drowning felt like, but...if he had to imagine, this would be his guess as to what drowning would feel like. Like he couldn't breathe, like something was filling up his chest and leaving no room for air, like he might choke on it.

He couldn't let Hodr see him like this...although luckily for him, Hodr couldn't see him at all, but that didn't stop Baldr from feeling horrifically self conscious as his brother pulled away to hold him at arm's length. He felt, as he always had, like his twin, who could not see anything could somehow see through him like no one else could.

"Hodr," he said again. "No. No, that's not right, that isn't justice." Baldr was overly concerned with justice to begin with, but his outrage was tenfold now that it concerned his brother. "Loki did this. Not you. You weren't to blame, you didn't intend to harm me." He had never even questioned that. What were their parents thinking, letting Hodr pay the price for yet another of Loki's trespasses? "You have nothing to be sorry for, little brother."

[Hodr]

Baldr was changed. Hodr wasn't sure how he could tell. He couldn't see a change because of course he couldn't see anything. But just touching him was different. He felt different. Something had changed him. Though, perhaps that would be death. Death could change a person. He squeezed Baldr's shoulder again, needing the comfort in the familiar action for himself as much as hoping to pass on comfort to his brother.

It hurt when Baldr so easily passed the blame onto Loki. When he said that it wasn't his fault. That this wasn't justice. It was a stab of pain and guilt because Hodr felt that he deserved it. He had deserved death for his crime. "I trusted Loki," he said softly. "I know better than that. We all know better than that." He sighed, moving a hand to cup the back of Baldr's neck. "You were dead at my hands and I deserved what I got." He squeezed his brother's neck. "But now I can be redeemed, if only in your eyes."

[Baldr]

Death could definitely change a person, as Baldr had been discovering over the past couple of days. Hel had warned him that he would no longer be insusceptible to harm, but he had not realized how many little things that would involve. Even before his mother had made everything agree to never harm him, he had not lived in a world like this, with so many things seemingly out to harm him. Hodr's hand on his shoulder was a welcome friendly touch in contrast to all the things that had been poking and bruising him for the past few days.

"Loki is unendingly talented at tricking people," he pointed out. "It is his greatest gift, you know that. There is no shame in being bested by someone in their own playing field." He rested his forehead against Hodr's, keeping his voice low and just between the two of them in the loud atmosphere of the party. "Brother," he went on, "you have never needed redemption in my eyes." One corner of his mouth quirked upwards in a mischievous smile, though Hodr would not see that, of course. "Perhaps I should explain to you how eyes work, I know you are not an expert in that area."

[Hodr]

Though Hodr was nothing without his twin, they had always been the closest of friends and apparently even in a new place, having come back from the dead, this would hold true. It was more comforting that Hodr has expected. This place was so full of things that were new and different and unexpected, but Baldr was here and so they would both learn to navigate this place together. Socially and physically of course, both of which Hodr tended to struggle a bit with as he had been largely ignored for so long and very rarely left the halls of Asgard. But a new beginning meant everything would start over and now with Baldr here as well, perhaps this would be a new start for the both of them.

Baldr's words were no comfort, however. Hodr had trusted where he should not have trusted. He trusted the least trustworthy person on Asgard. He knew better. He had known better in that moment too, but something has compelled him anyway. He should have stopped. He should never have let Loki help him. If he hadn't neither of them would be here now. He patted Baldr's shoulder in thanks. Then he let out a laugh at the joke. “A drink for my brother!” he yelled. It was a good joke and he had not been expecting it. “Ah, Baldr. You're jokes are as ugly as your face.” Gently he knocked a fist into his brother's face. “And since you are the pretty twin, I can only imagine how delightful your jokes are to the ladies here.”

[Baldr]

Having Hodr here was like a breath of fresh air, the first one he'd gotten in days. The guilt was still there; he had so much of it over this whole situation, but it was massively overshadowed by the relief and gratitude of having his brother standing in front of him in the flesh. That was his first thought. His second thought was that it seemed unfair that Hodr still could not see; Baldr was no longer invincible, and it seemed right that Hodr should have been at least a little changed as well. Perhaps, though, he should consider it a boon that Hodr was not changed for the worse, as he had been.

At any rate, jokes about Hodr's blindness had always been a staple in their relationship, and laughing at it together felt just like old times. What felt unfamiliar was was the way Hodr's fist felt against his face. He hadn't actually punched him, it was just...there was the sensation that he could have, that if he'd wanted to, it could have hurt him, and Baldr was not accustomed to that possibility even remotely existing. He almost wanted to ask Hodr to punch him for real, but knowing Hodr, he probably would have hurt himself accidentally instead.

"I have only met one lady since I have been here," he told Hodr, locking one arm through his twin's and giving him a tug off in the direction he knew the alcohol was located. "Come, let us get drinks for the both of us, and I will tell you all about her and the strange shirts she helped me purchase."

[Hodr]

For the first time since he has killed his brother Hodr thought that maybe things would be alright. Of course things could not be as they had been, but this was comfortable. Baldr was here and he had not blamed Hodr. He would not abandon his twin and Hodr felt relieved. His burden was lessened by the familiarity of the two of them.

Hodr let himself be led away by his brother, another gesture he was very familiar with after all. Baldr wouldn't lead him astray. "Excellent," he declared, using his staff as a walking stick. "And then I shall tell you about the lady that I met. It will be just like old times!"

[Baldr]

Just like old times. Well, yes, except for...a few minor details. Baldr bit his lip. Did Hodr know? They had always shared that sort of sixth sense that twins seemed to have; when Hodr was in trouble, or extremely distressed about something, Baldr had always somehow known about it, or felt an echo of it himself. He wasn't sure if that extended to the here and now, in this strange place, where they had been briefly separated for the first time in their long lives.

"I have to tell you something," he said, leading Hodr towards the alcohol. "This place...it is not like Asgard. Things are not the same here. I am not the same here." He didn't stop moving, just kept walking, leading his brother steadily onward as if maybe that would lessen the gravity of what he was saying. "Hodr, I am not...everything can injure me here. Weapons, people...paper, which is a threat I never considered before I came here. It is a good thing Loki is not here as well, I am sure he would have killed me himself by now, all over again. I don't know what happens if I die here, if I return to Hel or..." He trailed off. "What were the conditions of you coming here?"