The hardest word {Meredith}

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

"I know, I would too..." Meredith admitted. Surely there was a way to do it all over again that ended more like she'd imagined... or maybe there wasn't, maybe there was nothing that would have got through to Mordred other than the way things went, maybe this was the only way he could change. She didn't like to think like that, but she couldn't help it. She tried to push it away, she would never know the truth, so there wasn't any point speculating. "But we can't change what's been, we can only try and move forward."

"I saw," she couldn't help but wrinkle her nose slightly, shaking her head. Arthur had a fondness for Twilight, and he'd tried to impart that onto his daughter along with the rest of his obsessions, but she'd never quite seen the appeal the way that he had, she much preferred the vampires in Buffy. Thinking about it, that probably made sense, Mordred was definitely more a Spike or an Angel than an Edward. "What will Costin say?" she teased lightly.

[Mordred Le Fey]

Moving forward. That he could do. He just wished he could do it faster, he longed to hold her in his arms again and to have all this awkwardness between them gone. He wished there was something he could do to speed this up, a spell he could cast to make the healing happen faster.

He laughed at her question, looking at her with a glint in his eye. "Oh he'll be gutted. He's a dirty space pirate while I'm a sexy vampire? It'll be the ultimate betrayal." He laughed. "So, of course, I am going to remind him of it at every opportunity. This might be more fun than winding Aiden up about the mermaid-penguin princess thing." He frowned slightly. "Although I'm slightly less cool with the whole glittery thing."

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

It was strange, Meredith thought, even as she couldn't help but smile slightly at Mordred's comment. She'd prefer the dirty space pirate - that was basically Han Solo, after all, and she'd always imagined herself ending up with, well, someone a lot like him. Maybe that was the appeal of Mordred, he might not realise it but he had a lot in common with Han. A sexy vampire was boring, typical, she'd always preferred the rogue with a heart of gold to the mysterious loner with the troubled past... or, at least, she thought she had, since Mordred was certainly both of them.

"Yea the glittery part is kind of dumb," she agreed with a smile "...but what if I did like it? Would you cover yourself in glitter for me?"

[Mordred Le Fey]

His eyebrow shot up and he looked at her, wondering if she was serious. Not that it mattered - right now he'd do whatever she wanted if it meant that she'd give him another chance, if it meant he could carry on sitting her with her, spending time with her, if it meant he might get the chance to kiss her again.

"Really? Do you? Actually, screw it, yeah I would. I'd shower in bloody glitter if you asked me to." He said seriously, looking her straight in the eye.

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

It took every ounce of Meredith's effort to try and keep a straight face as he looked at her so incredulously, but she managed, waiting for his response. When he gave it, though she thought she would have laughed, instead she found herself smiling fondly.

"Don't worry, I have no intention of making you do that," she told him, even though... well... there was a tiny part of her that would pay to see that "But it's nice to know you would, if I wanted."

She looked down at her cup, fiddling with the handle for a few silent seconds before looking back up at him "I think... maybe.... maybe we'll be okay. Eventually."

[Mordred Le Fey]

He knew his relief showed on his face at her words, and he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He'd had a horrible feeling that she was going to insist on it, see how far she could push him - and he didn't know if she realised it but he would literally do anything she asked him to right now, anything to help her forgive him and let him start over.

"I'd do anything you wanted." He said seriously, watching her carefully. "Whatever it takes."

Her next words had him smiling - a small smile, a smile that still held some sadness, but a smile nonetheless. "I hope so." He said quietly. "I really hope so." He reached out hesitantly, wondering if he was pushing things to far, but unable to stop himself, and touched the fingers she held on the handle of her cup softly with the tips of his own, his eyes on their hands.

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

Her gaze flicked up to him briefly when his fingers brushed against hers, moving back to their touching fingers and watching them with an expression verging on fascination. She moved slowly, sliding her hand closing to his and winding their fingers together.

For just a moment she stared at them like that, trying to imagine what it would look like if they hadn't messed all this up, if everything hadn't been terrible and if maybe they'd started normally, if they were just on a coffee date together and they were holding hands just like a regular couple...
but it wasn't like that.

She drew her hand away almost reluctantly, standing up.

"I...I have to go," she said slowly "I have homework to do... but, um... this was... this was okay."

[Mordred Le Fey]

He almost held his breath as she moved her hand, lacing her fingers with his. He didn't dare move, not wanting to breath the spell, not wanting to break the moment that had settled on them both. Again his thoughts drifted to the dark place, the part of him that was entirely inherited from his mother, and he couldn't help but think of the magic he could use, how he could make her heal, or make her forget. His eyes flicked up to her face and he took a breath... he could do it so quickly, so easily - she'd never know it had happened...

She pulled away and the moment broke, anger at himself pushing the thoughts away. There was no way he would do that to her, he'd done enough and he knew that playing with her mind, with her memories, was unforgivable. He couldn't do it to her, no matter how much he wanted her in his arms.

He stood as she did, moving almost unconsciously to stand close to her. He looked down at her, wanting to gather her in his arms and kiss her, to hold her close. The fact that she hadn't pulled away the moment he touched her gave him hope, but he still wanted so much more, he didn't know how he was going to manage to be patient and wait for her. But he knew he would find a way.

"Ok." He said quietly, looking into her eyes, so close to her he could feel the warmth from her body. "I'm glad you came."

He couldn't help himself, and before she could stop him he leaned down and kissed her, gently and tenderly, trying to put everything he didn't know how to say into that brief moment of contact, hoping she wouldn't push him away.

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

It was somehow different to the last time, when he'd shoved her up against the wall and kissed her so desperately, so harshly. It was sweet and hopeful and wanting and kind of made her want to just melt into his arms and never let go... but she knew she couldn't do that, not yet, everything was still too fresh and raw, and however much she wanted it all to go away, she knew it wasn't that easy.

She indulged for a moment before pulling away reluctantly, giving him a sad smile. "I'll talk to you soon." she said gently, her gaze lingering until she forced herself to turn away and leave the coffee shop.