Trenale Guardian Issue 4

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Dear Readers,

It is with a heavy heart that I write to tell you that dark times will soon be upon us. The worst has happened and our peaceful town of Trenale may soon be under the unfortunate circumstance of war. Here at the Trenale Guardian we have done her best to bring you the most update information on current events and we promise you now that came sword or spear, we will continue to do our best to report that truest facts throughout this travesty.
 
We will, however, not lose hope. With the resources we have here in Trenale, from the people that make this place what it is to the Grayle Corporation that works to make this place the best it can be. We shall prevail. We shall win. And we shall make this place, a better place.


D. Walt
Editor

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The army that has been threatening the boarders of Trenale for the past month has finally made its move and is heading towards the town. Our sources who have been scouting out the invading army has been keeping tabs on them for weeks and last night reported that the first few ranks have been readying their horses, tents and weapons. By staying close to the army our sources have also learned more about them, who they are, where they are from and what they have done in the past.
 
Most of the army originates from a country called Wayron, many miles to the west of Trenale in the dark snow covered mountains of Danscavia. Not much is known about the city in the mountains, the people their keeping their way of lives secret. It is only in recent years that they have ventured from their fortress, seeking to find new lands to conquer and expand their empire. This is with the new arrival of King Whilhelm who is seeking to make a name for himself in the history books. He has conquered many places already which makes up the rest of their army as the people of the places he conquers are asked to either join him or meet death. This offer is only offered once to each person individually.
 
He is flanked by his second in command, a patch wearing general named Erikson. The second in command was one of the first to join the King of Wayron’s army, his skills allowing him to make his way up the ranks to achieve the high position he is currently in. Some say that it is this one eyed man that pulls the strings of the King, that it is actually he that is in control however this information is only rumour. The Second in Command trains the army night and day, making them a formidable force made up of all the fiercest warriors from all the lands they have conquered.
 
Grayle Corp have already began to prepare for the oncoming army. In an email from the Anonymous CEO it stated, “Grayle Corp have been preparing for this from day one. We knew which way the wind was blowing and so what this army does not expect is that we are ready. So let them come, let them try to take this city, they will see that we are not an easy target.”
 
The corporation has released plans that show how they intend to protect the city. The first is the building of a large wall around the city, the second is to create a large magical dome over the city for any incoming assaults from the air. Grayle Corp are also planning on having their special security force, The Shadow Knights, patrol the streets day and night. A formidable force the Shadow Knights are selected from only the best of the best and train every day to provide the safety and security of those that hire them. There are also plans for evacuation although they say this is something that is till in the planning stages and the people will be informed of the specifics of this sooner to its completion.
 
When the Trenale Guardian asked Trenale Council for a statement they replied with ‘No Comment’. For weeks now the Trenale Council has been burying it’s head in the sand about the approaching army and here in the Trenale Guardian offices we await eagerly for what they have to say about these recent developments.

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In recent days a strange new illness has been making its way through the student body of Trenale Academy. Doctors and nurses in the hospital and school infirmary are baffled by this new disease that see the infected developing flu like symptoms before breaking out in to sores. Once the infected has reached this ‘sore’ stage doctors have found that the infected become averse to sunlight and that when brought in to the sunlight the infected feels extreme pain.
 
Dr Tennant of the infirmary stated, “The source of this new illness is unknown and on our initial studies we have found that it is made up of magical components. The source, we can only assume although it is not founded in facts and result, is most likely from a magical source be it humanoid or not.”
 
So far more than 30 people have fallen ill of this new disease and no cure on the horizon. “As far as we can tell the disease is not contagious and each of the victims appear to have suffered the same initial effects. All the patients report to have being felt like they had been hit in the chest by something before developing the flu like symptoms.”
 
If anyone feels that they are developing the symptoms described in this article please go to the Trenale Infirmary immediately.

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Shop owners in the Trenale mall are warned to be extra vigilant this week after a string of thefts. Police believe these thefts are all linked, and while the items being stolen are currently of little value, the thief appears to be highly prolific.

The suspect is described as most likely male, of average height and often seen wearing dark clothing, occasionally with a hood. They usually wait until staff are distracted by other customers before making their move. It is not clear whether the distracting parties are working with the thief or merely innocent bystanders being used for the thief's own ends.

If anybody has any information pertaining to these thefts, Trenale police would like to hear from them.

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In the midst of ‘Clubbing’ district of Trenale Town a new club is getting set to open it’s door to a very select clientele. “You remember those clubs that were only for the royals, well imagine that but even more select as not all royals are invited and not all of them are royal,” stated one of the owners of the new soon to be hottest place in town, Eve Royesse.
 
When asked what the club was going to be like, whether like Area 51 it had a theme or if like Stab Wound the clientele would speak for the theme, she replied, “It’s something Trenale has never seen before, at least not in the way that myself and Mr Laufeyjarson are presenting it. We are bringing a certain kind of class to this town, but a kind of class that has an edge to it, a darkness to it. However at same time full of mischief and…I guess you could say a cheekiness. Loki is involved in its production so I imagine you can get a good idea of what’s involved.”
 
The two proud owners are still being extremely secretive about the nature of their new club however guesses can be made owing to the suggestive pictures on the posters flying all about town. We know that there will be ‘acts’ of some kind featureing some of the finest talents of Trenale. When we questioned Ms Royesse about this further with a secretive smile she added, “Well, perhaps I can throw one little hint your way. Trick or Treat will be playing host to a most beautiful voice that has been gracing the patrons of another club recently. The little firey songbird has flown then nest and moved on to much greater things.”
 
Keep your eyes and ears open for your special invite to the grand open and the chance to win membership to this selective club.

[Deleted]

Spring has come and gone, but as we get kick off the summer, love is in the air. Sources have confirmed that there has been a bit of the love bug running around. First, let’s start off with the Vikings. Beowulf and Astrid have been seen together a couple of times and it seems that they both have a love for punching and killing things. They also both have axes and are both potentially dangerous. They have much in common already. Just the other day they were seen together running together around Longleat Field and there is definitely some kind of mutual respect between them, but will sparks fly for our violent Vikings? Or is their relationship doomed from the start?

Miss Charlotte LaBouff seemed to be having some kind of fling with Gawain, the heavily accented Scottish prince, but it seems they’ve had a falling out and Lottie has turned her sights on a different prince by the name of Henry Charming. Now we know that every girl wants to find her Prince Charming, but is Henry really the one? Or is Lottie trying to make a certain Scotsman jealous? We’ll have to wait and see.

Speaking of Charming princes, it seems that Henry has an older brother, Edward who has some kind of relationship with our very own cooking teacher, Miss Snow White. Unfortunately, Tintagel’s headmaster wouldn’t afford me a peek at either of their files, so a bit more snooping is required to get the full low down on what exactly is going on between Snow and Mr. Charming.

It also turns out that a couple of our very own princesses are engaged to be married. Sources have confirmed that Giselle from Andalasia is engaged to Edward, the prince of Andalasia. Their story is a dashing, romantic tale. Edward fought off an ogre and rescued Giselle and they plan to live happily ever after. Princess Winifred, fondly called Fred, is engaged to Prince Dauntless whom she expects to marry as soon as she can find her way back to him. Good luck to both of you princesses on your engagements and may your lovers never stray away.

Have a sneaky suspicion that someone you know is involved in a romantic entanglement? You know a friend of yours is dating and completely off the market? Let us know and it might just make the news!

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Some would call it Destiny, others would call it a fairytale romance, but as His Royal Highness Arthur Pendragon Crown Prince of Camelot and Her Royal Highness Princess Guinevere of the Summer Country, sit here be fore me, their hands clasped in each others, it is obvious what this really is. Love. True Love, not a fairytale, not destiny, just, love. In a time when most Royal Weddings are for political reasons, it is a delight and a pleasure to see two young Royals that are completely in love. Her Royal highness is dressed in a simple yet elegant dress in pale colours, her hair styled perfectly. His Royal Highness dressed equally as smartly in a shirt and jeans, his blonde hair tousled slightly, made even more so by the minor adjustments her royal highness makes to it, an endearing sight to behold.
 
Both royals have been through a lot in such a short period of time and are aware of the turbulent times that may lie ahead of them. Prince Arthur comes from the stable and thriving kingdom of Albion, learning from his father how to be a good and powerful king. Sadly the young Prince lost his mother at an early age but believes that all though gone form this world, she is still watching and protecting him. In a country that despises magic, Prince Arthur has some new ideas that may change the way magic users are treated within Albion.
 
Where Prince Arthur has spent most of his younger years training to be King one day, Princess Guinevere too has been learning to become queen, only under more difficult circumstances. Prince Arthur had the guiding support of his father who wants his son to become a good and strong King. After the loss of her mother, Guinevere has been struggling every day to retain her throne and the power her position should have within her country. The Summer Country being a Matriarch Society, Guinever has grown up empowered and strong, despite the sometimes overwhelming opinions, ideals of her Father and her Cousin Malgaunt. Currently her country is under the control of her father while she is exiled here in Trenale, with the promise that she may return if she finds a suitable husband that can ‘tame’ her. It seems the joke is on the council and King Leodegrance as Prince Arthur looks like he would do anything for his Princess.

Can you remember the first time the two of you met?
 
G: I can. He cant.
A: That’s not true I do remember, sort of, I just…didn’t realise that the first time we met was you, I remember the meeting perfectly. We were in the forest that sits on the border of our two countries, when I found her sitting up a tree.
G: Wrong!
A: What?!
G: I wasn’t in the tree, I believe the first time you saw me I had just jumped out of the tree.
A: Details.
G: I thought you remembered it perfectly?
(Pause)
A: Well she jumped out of the tree and-
G: Gave him a massive fright.
A: Yes.

 
Was it love at first sight?
 
G+A: No.
(They both laugh)
G: We were both still young, to me he was just this smelly boy who thought he was the best of the best.
A: And she was a girl…yuck.
G: He was my best friend and I was devastated when he had to leave to go be a Prince.
A: Didn’t get rid of me for long though did you?
G: Unfortunately no.
A: We met up a time alter, but again, I didn’t realise it was her, she was in disguise. Masquerading as my cousin Gawain.
G: Well you were the one that didn’t recognise me!
A: You were dressed as a boy.
G: For ease of movement! And anyway, you never questioned why I wasn’t Scottish!!
A: I thought perhaps he’d finally got rid of that terrible accent. Anyway, I guess…it wasn’t too long after that…
G: That we fell in love.
 
Do you think being in Trenale allowed you to be yourselves? To pursue this love in spite of your royal obligations?
 
G: Yes, it’s just that sort of place isn’t it? Where it doesn’t matter what sort of title you have at the beginning of your name, all are equal. And yes, you can just be yourself. Where one of my best friends can be from another world entirely and where the Prince can have a relationship with their manservant, wouldn’t you agree?
A: I suppose it is.
G: Arthur is very good friends with his manservant Merlin, I encourage it. It’s good for him to have someone else who can stand up to him.
A: You mean good for me to have another one of your cronies to stand up to me?
G: Coincidentally Merlin is another one of my best friends, but he was standing up to you a long time before you met me again.
A: That’s true.

 
How did your parents react when you told them?
 
G: My father has yet to find out. I imagine he won’t be best pleased.
(The Princess says this with a smile on her face and clasps the hand of the Prince just a little tighter.)
A: My father knew we were to be married before I did. In fact I believe he still thinks it was his idea, I don’t believe that though. Guinevere must have used her Jedi mind tricks.
G: I did no such thing, your father is just a very wise man who knew a good thing when he saw it.
A: Jedi mind tricks.
G: Don’t say that, he’ll start accusing me of magic.
A: MAGIC! SHE USED MAGIC! It’s the only reason I could have fallen in love with such a busybody.
 
That leads us on quite nicely to my next question, what traits do you like/dislike most about each other?
 
A: Dislike; she has to know everyone’s business, and what’s more she has to meddle in it. What I like about her, is that when she does meddle, she usually always ends up helping, even if I don’t always realise it at the time.
G: Well I would tell you what I dislike but we haven’t got all week.
A: That’s not fair! I said lovely things about you!
G: You said one nice thing. In any case, I dislike how oblivious he can be at times, and how tactless he can be. What I love is that he can go from saying something completely harsh and uncalled for to defending your honour in a fight to death in under 2 seconds. He’ll always be there to defend you, he’ll always fight for you, even if you don’t need him too. Once you have his friendship and his loyalty, you don’t lose it, no matter how harsh may appear to be to you…there, was that nice enough?
A: (Clearly chuffed) It’ll do.
 
 
When and where are you planning the wedding?
A: Well, what with the summer weather upon us we were thinking the park, an outdoor sort of…thing…
G: Arthur?
A: Yes?
G: Pease stop pretending to know what you’re talking about. It’s an outdoor wedding not primarily because of the weather but because there is simply not a big enough venue for us to invite everyone we want to invite, which is everyone. Also the setting is more appropriate to the ceremony that we plan on having. And yes, so we can have the best weather we’re having it in the summer, but also because neither of us can wait, it must be as soon as possible.
A: In case I change my mind she means.
 

With recent events, do you plan to head back to your country after the wedding?
A: I’m not…sure really.
G: Ideally yes, there isn’t much left for us here after that, other than our learning. I think perhaps we will stay and finish that before heading back to Camelot and the Summer Country. The sooner the better however, I have missed my country and my people for far too long.
A: Yes then, eventually.


And then perhaps a new addition to the family…?
A: Ha! Well, that’s uh, that’s still a long way off yet. But of course, both of us want an heir, so yes, eventually, one day. I don’t think Gwen really wants to lose that waistline yet.
G: And Arthur wouldn’t want to have his hand broken if he makes one more comment like that.
A: Yes dear.

Despite the barbs, despite the playful banter it is clear to me as it is to the rest of us that this is a young couple very much in love, very much looking forward to their future and cant wait to spend it together.

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Well it seems like the battle is over and unfortunately for us, the Sun lost. Rain, thunder and lightening is heading our way this week, which wont' be making anyone's colds any better. Perhaps if someone could cheer up our resident Sun God we might see a little more sunshine this summer.

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Well there we have it one city down only Trenale to go. Will this army stop at nothing?
-Scared TG reader.


Poison Apples! An Army on the Approach! It seems that Trenale gets less and less safe every day!
-Worried

It seems I took those self defence classes just in time. With Truro falling it wont be long now till their on us.
-Karate Kid

Girl with horns, I’ve noticed that you haven’t been on the tram since your last comment. I apologise for my rudeness, you’re right, it was unfeeling and I should have had more understanding for your predicament.
-Eye Patch

I checked out Area 51 after last months article and boy am I glad I did. That’s won smoking red head and guys can she sing!!
-Impressed

With a school so full of immortals you’d think one of them would step in and help us out.
-Waiting.


Arthur isn’t single I don’t think. I saw him yesterday with the singer from Area 51 and they looked pretty cosy together. Then again, he’s often seen hanging around Guinevere, not to mention the blonde Viking. Who knows who he’s setting his crown at.
-Confused Gossiper.

"What is everyone doing to protect us from the coming invasion? I think if anyone came up with an actual plan to deal with the problem, that would be really useful, and a lot more heroic than everyone just sitting around and twiddling their thumbs. -Disgruntled Citizen."



Response to “Girl that likes Scotch: I think you’ll find the only person Gawain is really interested in “stirring” is his “best mate” Lancelot. From what I can tell, they “have each other’s backs” in more ways than one, if you know what I mean.
- Savvy Observer





And as a final note, don't you think that final expose was pretty shabby? I mean, really, who wants to read about the gods? They're not even all that interesting, they just go around lording it over everyone else how they think they're better, and they didn't even have anything interesting to say. Why don't we get some better questions in there, like what sort of advice do they have for everyone else? You know, something useful?

I think maybe next time you should just talk to ordinary people off the street. I think that would be a lot more interesting, because those people would actually have stuff to say. Like having real lives instead of just being above it all.

We hope you are happier with this months issue

If you have a letter you would like to see posted in the Trenale Guardian please PM the Trenale Guardian.

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"Most everyone I talk to seems to hate me, or at least think I'm not living up to some stupid standard. I know I'm maybe not as good at being chivalrous as some other people around here, but I really don't think I'm that bad. What am I doing that makes everyone hate me, and how do I make more friends? -Second Best"

I wouldn‘t worry, it‘s probably because you‘re just not a very likeable person. You get people like that. Not being chivalrous is probably part of it, but trust me when I say some people are just born rotten to the core, annoying and idiotic. Unfortunately there is no cure for this. You‘ll just have to try and find someone who can put up with you for as long as you can put up with yourself.

If you have a problem you would like our brilliant Doctors to fix, please PM Trenale Guardian