Time Heals All Wounds (Rene)

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Marian sat alone at a table in the library, a few books spread out around her and a notepad directly in front of her. She had been spending a lot of time here lately, whether it be to study or research. True, she had her own house now that should allow for some quiet solitude to do her work, but within that quiet house was also a not-so-quiet husband. Robin was really considerate, and he left her be to study, but their house still needed some renovations and they simply were not quiet.

Besides, it was much harder to resist the tempting distraction of her handsome husband than all the students in the library combined.

Closing one of the heavy volumes on the table, she placed it on the stack in one corner and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her eyes. Letting out a yawn, she paused, mouth still open, when she opened her eyes again and caught sight of someone across the room, someone she hadn’t seen for a very long time; someone she had no idea how to feel about.

Cimorene.

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Okay, this was slightly unexpected. Rene stood there, staring down the library table as though the person sitting there had leveled a gun at her. No matter what she'd tried in the past, Rene had simply never been wholly comfortable around Marian, nor had she particularly felt that Marian felt any differently toward her. They had a mutual acquaintance in Wil Scarlet, not to mention the several other members of Robin's band, or Robin himself. Nonetheless, the tension had always been there...

Rene walked toward the table. She paused to look at the books. Looked at Marian. Opened her mouth. Closed it. Blew out her cheeks. Then, with a determined smile, Rene waved a few fingers.

"Hello," she managed. Another pause. Without asking, Rene sat down across from Marian. there were... things she could ask about. Robin, for one. Wil, for another. Or Allan. Or Much. Or any of the other gang members that Rene hadn't seen for months but at least had met and liked in passing. Her head spun with possibilities, and she eventually settled on trying something:

"How are you?"

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The silence of the library suddenly seemed suffocating as the two women stared each other down. So similar in so many ways, yet always unable to get along, and all because of a man, the only man in Marian’s eyes, and her heart. Even after Robin and Cimorene’s relationship had ended, Marian had still found it impossible to be civil toward the girl. She had had too many questions, too many things she did not know, too much that she could not forgive and forget.

And now? So much had changed for Marian since she and this girl had last spoken. She had learned the truth from Robin, she had gotten the closure she needed, and they had been able to repair their relationship... all in the space of a few minutes. Perhaps they did not have the most normal, healthy relationship, but then they never had been much for normal.

“Hello,” Marian said, just as awkwardly, folding her hands on the notepad on the table in front of her. Of course she should have expected Cimorene to join her, the girl always had been very direct. “I am doing very well, thank you,” she replied to the question, forcing a small smile. “And you? I heard you have been away.”

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"Doing well, that's good," said Rene. She shifted. Yes, that feeling of discomfort was still there. Rene didn't even know why. Her and Robin had happened so long ago now that it was little more than a fond memory. While Rene would always think back on it and smile, she certainly wasn't going to try anything any more. Everything told her that she should be friends with this girl, yet she just couldn't bring herself to quite budge. Something was just...

"I'm doing alright, all things considered," said Rene. She laughed softly. "I went back to stop my friend from being assassinated; it wasn't exactly a picnic."

Rene paused to look at the library. Kazul had insisted that she come back here, for some reason. Said that she needed this. That this was important for her to become the person she needed to be. Kazul had to mean it too, since Rene had proven nearly invaluable over these last few months. She was almost wishing that Kazul had followed her here though.

"How is everyone?" asked Rene. She blinked. "Heh, I think that's pretty much the question I ask every time we meet, isn't it?"

another pause, and Rene looked over at the books, then back at Marian. You could almost touch the awkward feeling hovering there. It sucked, but Rene still had no idea what to do about it...

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Marian’s eyes widened and her brows shot up as Cimorene relayed her story of the past few months. She made it sound so insignificant, like it was something she did every day, but Marian at least thought she understood the motive behind that. There were events in her own life that she preferred not to talk about, things that were better left unsaid, better left banished to the recesses of her mind. They can still cause pain from there, but it seemed lessened.

“Since you have returned I assume you succeeded,” she responded, unsure what else to say. If it was one of those subjects that was better left undiscussed, then she would not push. It was not as if they were on good enough terms to talk about their deepest secrets and fears. They were barely on good enough terms to talk about the weather. “I am glad. I hope justice was done.”

That, at least, she could say with complete conviction. She still regretted that she had been injured and unable to return to Nottingham to help Robin defeat the Sheriff, but ultimately justice had been done and the people were no longer suffering, so that was all that really mattered.

Marian’s smile became a little more genuine at Cimorene’s comment about their usual conversation. It was true, they were able to at least start civilly by talking about their common friends, but eventually it always turned sour. “Gwen and Merlin are doing quite well, and the gang... well, we do not keep in touch as much as I wish we would now that they were pardoned and able to return home,” she admitted honestly. She missed Allan dearly, they had become quite close in their time here. “Allan had already finished his studies, so he returned to Nottingham, and Much was made Earl of Bonchurch. Wil... I am not certain. Nobody has heard from her since King Richard returned, as far as I know.”

That had been easy enough, maybe even pleasant, but now came the hard part. How was she supposed to talk to Robin’s former lover about him? It was not a situation she had encountered before, and as she was unsure what lingering feelings remained there, the awkward cloud settled over her again.

“Robin decided to return here, though,” she ventured, unconsciously playing with the wedding ring on her finger.

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Rene didn't know how to take Marian's reaction. She honestly did not want to talk about her narrow escape and the "adventures" she'd had back in the Mountains of Mist. On the other hand, it certainly seemed like the kind of thing you could brag about, and Rene's desperation for some kind of upper hand hadn't disappeared. It took a great force of will, and a few swallows, for her not to immediately comment upon Marian's idea.

"We stopped anything from happening," supplied Rene. "But he got away... again."

She shifted, looking away for a moment. Oh look, the awkwardness had returned. How utterly charming. Why exactly had she sat down here again? Masochistic tendencies, apparently.

Rene nodded along with Marian's comments regarding Merlin and Gwen; she'd been hoping that both would be alright, and had even arranged to meet with Merlin. But she'd been hoping for the news about Robin and his gang.

Her face fell slightly as she heard that Allan had returned home. They'd gotten to know each other fairly well just before she'd left, and she'd been hoping to return to the relationship. It wasn't quite as surprising to learn that Much had stayed, since he'd been rewarded with an earldom. Rene ended up smiling at that, already picturing the loyal redhead relaxing and enjoying some much deserved reward and relaxation. It actually sounded as though the struggle back home had finally ended... which made Rene wonder what exactly had happened to Wil. That girl had seemed borne of struggle, determined to do nothing but. How could she handle herself now? Marian didn't seem to know.


And there were more important things to talk about.

"I'm glad you returned; it's always good to see---' Rene stopped. Marian's hand had moved, and Rene had absently looked to it, her eye noting the movement. There was a ring. A ring on her finger. And she'd just said that Robin had decided to return. Robin plus a ring.

Rene's eyes widened. She outright stared at the ring now, struck dumb.

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“I am sorry to hear that,” Marian replied, frowning slightly. It was obviously enough that the assassination had been prevented, but if the villain had escaped, did it not stand to reason that he would attempt it again? Perhaps there were others looking for him and Cimorene’s services were no longer needed. “At least he was not able to succeed, that is the important part.”

Not really knowing what else to say on the subject, Marian had awkwardly let it drop. If Cimorene wished to speak of it then she would, unless etiquette demanded that she wait for inquiries. If that was the case then no more would be said about it as both girls had found other places to look until they spoke of their mutual friends. Although the news was good in that Nottingham was now safe, Cimorene looked understandably disappointed at the information Marian had to offer. As much as the older girl hated to admit it, Cimorene had had a place in their gang as well, so of course she wished to see them all again. Maybe she should just go to Nottingham for a visit so the cloud of awkwardness would raise.

Although, apparently, not before it got much, much worse.

When Cimorene suddenly trailed off, Marian was taken aback by her expression... until she followed her eyes down to her own hands. Her own blue eyes widening, she quickly covered the ring with her right hand, and shifted her gaze back up to the other girl’s face. This was probably news she should have heard from Robin, not his new wife.

“Well yes, I... actually I did not leave,” she stammered quickly. “And I am still here, to finish my studies. I have not quite... finished yet.”

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Rene looked up at the ring back at Marian as she stammered. Marian knew that Rene wasn't dumb, quite the contrary. Did she really think that Rene wouldn't figure out who the matching ring belonged to? Why wouldn't she come out and admit it? That seemed quite suspicious, doubly so if Marian had never left. If Rene's memory served, Robin had even left... to fix things. Too much was falling into place for the girl, and she ended up hashing through it while attempting to hold a conversation at the same time.

"I hear it takes four years to actually finish," and most people who were in college didn't marry until they were done, "so it's to be expected that you'd take a while yet. I just recently got promoted to the higher education," where everyone else was. Including people that were mutual friends. Did Marian think that her marriage wouldn't come up? Why even hide the ring? "Then again, we all go through significant life changes," pause, flick eyes down, force a smile. "I'm sure that a good deal has changed in the months I've been gone. Hopefully I can adapt well."

She paused, glanced at her books for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. This was quite a bombshell: one of her friends married without her knowing. How was it that no one had kept her informed? Surely a handful of them had known how to contact her. True, Rene had been distracted helping Kazul, but that was no reason...

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Cimorene had recovered well, Marian had to give her credit for that. All the same it was completely obvious that she had seen the ring, even if she did not comment on it... directly. There were enough hints in the words to make trying to lie about it and cover it up completely ill advised. And if Marian were to be completely honest with herself, she would admit that the girl deserved the truth. While she may never feel comfortable around her, knowing that this skinny, young woman had... ‘been with’ her husband before her, she also knew she could not continue to blame her. There had been many circumstances that had lead to all the drama in her life, and while Cimorene had played a part she had been mostly innocent in it all.

“I hope you can too,” Marian said softly, looking down at her clasped hands again. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. While she truly felt it was Robin’s place to do this, if she said nothing right now it would only be an insult, and Cimorene would only hear it from someone else. It had to be done.

“I am not sure when you left, but Robin returned to Nottingham quite suddenly for a time. He had dallied long enough here and could not live with the injustices back home any longer,” she began her story slowly. She chose to omit her part in that decision, as still so few people knew of her injury and she preferred to keep it that way. “He succeeded, and King Richard returned home. Peace was restored, and everything is how it should be again.”

Even with the discomfort of the conversation Marian could not help but smile as she told the story. While she wished she could have helped, she was so proud of Robin for all he had done. But now it was time for the hard part. How was she to say it? She could speak for ages, try to soften the blow, but Cimorene was smart, she would see through it all.

“With England safe he returned here, and we... we were married.”

Direct, like pulling out an arrow. Obviously much had happened between those two events, but those were dark days she would rather not think about, let alone talk about.

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Rene nodded. She remembered Robin leaving for Nottingham, and it hadn't been a great leap of logic to connect the current situation of him and his gang to the solving of the problems back there. Allan wouldn't have remained; Much definitely wouldn't be an earl; and Wil wouldn't be missing if things hadn't been completely solved back there. The additional news caught Rene off guard.

Robin. Married.

At one point, in a silly girlish fantasy, Rene had thought about herself in that position. As the lady of Locksley. True, she'd never met Marian at the time, didn't even know about her. If Rene's memory served, Robin had only mentioned Marian in passing, and only with that fond memory of someone from a life long since passed. Then he'd gone on to be Rene's first. Now he was married. To his childhood sweetheart.

"That makes sense," were the first words Rene managed in response. She shifted. "You two were in love for some time, weren't you? I'm..."

Another shift, Rene looked away for a moment, considered, then looked back. "I'm happy for you."

She meant it too. Robin was a friend, a dear friend, to be sure, but Rene didn't have feelings like that for him any more. Didn't have feelings for anyone, not like that. She actually smiled.

"How long?" she asked. It seemed appropriate, since she'd been gone for the months.

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In the silence that followed, while Cimorene came to terms with the news, Marian only stole a quick glance at the girl before busying herself with rearranging the notepad and pen that sat on the table before her. When the words finally came, she almost winced when the just as quickly trailed off again. She heard the chair creaking as Cimorene shifted in her seat, then finally the sentence was finished.

She was happy for them.

Finally looking up, Marian searched her former rival’s face for any hint of lies or malice but saw neither. Her gaze was met with sincerity. Breathing out a slow breath, she nodded.

“I can barely remember a time when I did not love him,” she admitted honestly, the first flickering flame of guilt licking at her heart. Could she have been so gracious with their roles reversed? Of course not, but then while they may have loved the same man once, the situations were entirely different. A few months together could hardly compare to a lifetime of love, so surely had had every right to despise this girl for having what she so desired, right? Still, she felt some need to explain. “I tried to move on when... I did try, but I couldn’t. There has never been anyone else for me.”

It was the truth. When she had learned of Robin and Cimorene’s relationship she had been crushed, heartbroken, but she had never tried to interfere. She had gone to dinner with Guy, and dated Merlin for several months, but that relationship had been doomed from the beginning for the very reason that she had just expressed.

Looking back down at her hands, she no longer tried to hide the ring as she turned it slowly on her finger. No, she had never interfered, but she would have been lying to say that she was not glad that they had ended their relationship. Perhaps the road was long and rocky, but she was finally happy with where she had ended up.

“It will be four months next week,” Marian answered. Four of the happiest months of her life.

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Wow, did Rene feel like a villain right about now. Never not loved him. Sweethearts from childhood. True love. And here she'd stood in the way of that. If Rene could find some way of shrinking herself down and completely vanishing, she'd probably manage it. Though, if she was being wholly honest with herself, she'd probably give herself a little more credit. She hadn't exactly known about Marian and Robin's situation at the time.

If she was being even more honest, Rene probably would have admitted that she wouldn't have cared anyway.

"You two seem to click," she managed. Forced a smile. She really was happy for them; that never left. But having to sit there and realize that she'd technically stood in the way of... or had she helped? Yes, that was certainly a possibility, and a good bit better than continuing to beat herself up about this. Still, it niggled at the back of Rene's mind, constantly chewing at her, reminding her. Probably would for a while.

"Four months," she said. She mouthed a wow, laughing softly and putting her elbows on the table. Within moments, her head was in her hands, and she was running her fingers through her now overlong hair. "Four months. I knew I'd been gone for... four months. Everything's probably changed now, isn't it?"

How was she ever going to catch up?

"At least everything's working out for you and them now," she said, trying to focus on something that wasn't herself for five seconds here.

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And just like that the air seemed to clear. Maybe they were both having their own internal struggles, maybe they were both coming to terms with the guilt they felt in regards to each other, but for Marian it suddenly felt easier. She knew the circumstances behind Robin’s choice to move on and she had forgiven him for it, so why couldn’t she forgive Cimorene? Maybe she could. She certainly couldn’t blame the girl for falling for Robin’s charms, and there was no need for jealousy any longer on Marian’s part. Maybe she could finally put it all behind her. She was happy now, so why dwell on the things that had made her miserable in the past, but were no longer relevant?

Looking up at Cimorene, Marian actually smiled, a look of kind sympathy in her eyes.

“Many things have changed, yes, but I think you will still find much the same. Like Merlin. He has been nothing if not a stalwart through everything,” she said as a sort of comfort. “And while you may be behind in your classes, by the way that people come and go here I doubt that you are the first student to start university late. I am sure they have provisions for that.”

It was probably the most she had ever said to Cimorene in one go without some hidden jealousy, anger, or resentment behind it. It was strange, yet not unpleasant.

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The statement from Marian actually made Rene stop. It took a good deal from her not to openly stare at the other girl. Suddenly the rush of statements that everyone else had said, what Merlin, Guinevere, Robin, Allan, Much, and Wil had been insisting all along, came back to her. Had something cleared, now that the ring now adorned Marian's finger? It certainly seemed so.

"I'm only a little worried about school and classes," said Rene. She smiled, actually looking somewhat confident. "I usually do alright there. Plus I've spent a lot of my time away hiding in a library studying things. I can honestly say that I've learned a lot in the intervening months."

Mostly in how to stop assassins and deal with a perpetually annoying outside group. Perhaps that had been part of Rene's decision and solidification regarding her study focus.

"It's nice to know that Merlin is alright," said Rene. Though I'd been hoping to hear better. Is he stillin denial about things? "I think I'm just trying to pity myself. Sorry for dumping that on you."

A sad smile, and Rene reached for her bag. She was here to research; she'd just forgotten that with running into Marian. No reason not to continue now.

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Marian could only wish that she had the same confidence in her own studies. It wasn’t that she was doing poorly, but the past few months her grades had slipped a bit and she was finding it more difficult to concentrate on her work since her life had changed so much and she had so many new things to think about. Before when she was miserable, jealous, hateful and alone, she welcomed the work as it was something she could throw herself into and use as a distraction from her troubles. Now that she was happy she did not want a distraction and would have preferred to live in her blissful bubble a little longer. Unfortunately every honeymoon must end and everyone must return to reality.

At least it was a decidedly more pleasant reality than before, even if that did not bode well for her grades. And it seemed that no matter what, there would always be something to be jealous of Cimorene for.

“It sounds like you had a very productive trip,” Marian replied. Stopping an assassination and still find time to study? Even if she had no reason to dislike Cimorene anymore, she could still find her irritatingly perfect, right? At least that negative feeling could be easily ignored and put aside, unlike the overwhelming anger and jealous of before.

“Do not apologise,” Marian continued as the younger brunette moved to collect her things. Whether it was to do her work or to take her leave it was uncertain. “I am sure it comes as no surprise that I am well practiced at throwing pity parties for myself, so I am certainly not one to judge.”

She was unsure about the sad look she was suddenly given, so she only returned it with a self-depreciating smile. If anyone knew how much time Marian had spent pitying herself and being angry at the injustices in her life, beyond her two best friends, it was Cimorene.