The Last Time I Saw Your Face {Rene}

[cazaril]

Caz finally felt like he was getting the hang of this. He stomached his resolve and Lottie had dragged him into shops to change his wardrobe. Though trousers had never seemed his thing - he figured they must be as he had never felt so comfortable. He looked like a merge of 21st century grunge with his wild black hair and trainers to his tweed jumper and tie being a definitative Lottie inspired look. 1920's tweed suited Caz far more than anyone dared to admit.

Not that he was aware he spent the last...3 years in them. But never the less.

He was reading a book on poetry he'd found in the library, and he was hooked. He'd never read anything like this before, and it thrilled him to read more...

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.


He delved so hard into the book, that once he had he had no idea that someone he should know had entered the courtyard. Who knew his face...but from a time when this face carried the memories of a 40 year old.

The audience can be well assured that if the 44 year old had known what was to come, he would be heavily embarrassed and try and get out of there before the bomb hit.

[Deleted]

Months had brought many changes, and Rene wasn't just thinking of the ones to herself. True, her hair had gotten longer, now almost waist-length, and she'd had to constantly tie it back in a braid to prevent it from getting in the way. She had a few more bangs and a light scar here or there. Dealing with what had happened had been rough.

But she hadn't expected what she'd come back to. Rene had transported just like before, only instead of arriving in the familiar area, she found herself somewhere... new, somewhere different. About half the people she knew acted as though nothing had happened, while another half seemed to know. Nobody really seemed to care.

"Haven't we been through this already,' she murmured. Sighing, she walked her way across the commons, adjusting a battered messenger bag so it bounced against her thigh. The denim skirt she wore flapped between her legs, and, per usual, she looked more like a college student than a princess.

Said student froze in her tracks as she saw someone reading.

He looked vaguely familiar, like someone Rene had seen in passing before. Like someone she should know. The jawline, the hair, it all seemed to match something, jog something loose in her brain. But what? Curious now, Rene closed the distance between them.

"Hello?" she called, stepping a little closer. "Um, sorry to be rude or--- okay, now I know I've seen you before," she was nearly in Caz's face. "Who are you, exactly? What's your name?"

[cazaril]

If he had been surprised when Door had given him a funny look his first morning of being eighteen, now he was even more heavily surprised. With a flustered look on his face he caught in all of her features. Her long dark hair, her imploring eyes, her determination to understand.

And none of it clicked his memory. No memory of good times together, or enjoying looking through books. Or even of Rene's eventual breakdown - or even his own. Being there to welcome his son into the world, to hear of his engagement. All of those memories were gone, and only this young man remained.

"You can have my name, if you'd like...err..." he said, almost apologetic that she was confused by this whole mess. Maybe she was having a bad day. Door had said she was feeling pretty crazy that day they'd met. Maybe he did strange things to people.

"The name is Caz, and I'm very sorry to tell you but I have absolutely no idea who you are..."

[Deleted]

Uncomfortable behavior. Odd, but Rene hadn't quite hoped for that. Truthfully, a nice hug wouldn't have been too bad. Then again, that probably was expecting too much. after all, she hadn't even been able to give this guy his...

"Wait, did you say your name was Caz?" repeated Rene. She took a step back, surveying the young man. The jawline was more or less the same. A lot thinner. a lot younger, though that was obvious. More hair. About the same fashion sense. Given that this school wasn't exactly known for being perfectly normal, and Rene herself had encountered several magicallly affected friends, including Caz once, she wasn't surprised to find him like this now.

"Cazaril de Lupe?" asked Rene. She hoped she got the name right; eight months away would make small details fuzzy. "You were a knight of some kind, remember?"

She paused. Maybe he wasn't now? What was this... she'd never seen magic that could actually de-age a person. You'd think something like that would be more prevalent. Certainly seemed like the sort of thing you would have heard about.

"You wouldn't happen to be married to a girl called Morgana, would you?" asked Rene. Might as well see how much was in there. She waited expectantly, pretending like she wasn't holding her breath.

[cazaril]

Well, he was Caz all right, just not the one she knew, or the one that knew her.

"A knight?" He said, and gave a gentle sigh. "I'm just a soldier - well I was a courier, and in an army, but a knight is a bit high even for my family, I wont be a lord for...well, if I inherit my father's land."

He gave a small smile, humble with a shrug, "And yeah, that's close, Lupe Dy Cazaril's my full name, though I don't think I told anyone that...." he trailed off, though he was figuring she'd just seen it on a list.

That was likely right?

Either way, her last guess was definitely wrong. In his mind, and those calm blue eyes of his turned to steel. Maybe it was the mind defending himself; maybe he just didn't like the idea that he was being mistaken as someone else, either way - he didn't look all that happy.

"No, I'm not married, and I don't know that name." He looked a little upset actually, maybe unconsciously the memories were starting to stir. "I think you're mistaking me for someone else" he told her.

[Deleted]

Just a soldier. Rene was racking her brain, trying to remember what Caz had told her of his background. He'd told her the whole story a few times; she should know it. How he'd been a slave, risen through the ranks, and all that. true, some of the details were probably fuzzy and mixed up; Rene had had other things on her mind. Somehow though, it didn't surprise her to find that she already had something to deal with just moments after arriving here.

"Do you really think it's likely that someone could know your full name and so much about you if they hadn't met you before?' reasoned Rene. Sighing, she moved to set her bad down and sat next to Caz. At least she couldn't say that life here was ever boring, that was certain.

"You probably got hit with a spell of some kind," said Rene. she sighed, leaning back so she could look toward the sky. "You see, when i knew you, you were a middle aged man. Someone who'd seen a lot of life and come out the better for it. You were also married with a son."

She turned to look at Caz, studying his face very closely for the slightest hint of recognition. "Any of this ringing any bells?"

[cazaril]

Caz shook his head, "I've not come from too far, it's just across the sea, my father's a lord--" he gave the excuses. His head whirling.

"Spells? Pah. I don't know what you're talking about, I've not been anywhere near magic." He said before frowning heavily as she started to explain everything, he stood up, snapping the book shut.

"That's nonsense" he told her, grabbing his satchel. He actually looked rather horrified, how dare someone tell him his life? He knew who he was, why he was, where he was. Some strange girl trying to tell him anything different was...well, disturbing.

"I think you need to see someone and leave me alone. In case you haven't noticed, I'm none of those things you said I was, and the only thing you've got right is the name. Who do you think you are anyway?"

His eyes steeled heavier, why was he so angry about this, he...

Door had mentioned she had been looking for an older man, but...but that couldn't be true. It couldn't. It wasn't possible. He still moved to turn away, squeezing the poetry book in his hand.

[Deleted]

"People who are under spells never actually think they're under spells," insisted Rene. She sighed in frustration, again leaning backward. This would be a lot easier if their relationship had somehow stayed intact. Instead, the person who should be mentoring Rene looked to be younger than her, or at least her own age. Which probably explained why she kept talking so much and insisting on fixing this.

"How many people are going to have a name like that?" asked Rene. She got up when Caz did, obviously determined to follow him, at least until he became as convinced that she was right as she was. "Stop and think for a few moments. Why would someone you've never met before be this determined? You have no proof that I'm wrong."

Albeit, Rene had very little proof that she was actually right, but admitting that certainly wasn't going to help her argument. This was a man named Cazaril. He had Caz's facial structure, Caz's eyes, even a bit of Caz's attitude, albeit dimmed down a good deal. Rene paused to study her mentor a little more closely... probably too closely. He was actually... kind of attractive, really...

No. No. This was Caz. He was Morgana's baby daddy, among other things. Wait... Morgana. Morgana did magic. She was most likely evil. Would she have done this to Caz?

Rene had gotten so wrapped up in thinking that she'd actually stopped talking for a few moments, standing there, chin cupped in her hand, thinking and wondering.

[cazaril]

Caz knew that she was right the moment she'd spoken. This however, meant that unconsciously the wish wasn't going to have any of it. He got angry. Seething infront of the princess. "All I know is that some stranger is trying to tell me who I am." He actually felt sick, and all she was doing was staring at him.

He had to admit her words were asking questions that he had had when he'd been talking to Door. He frowned hard at her, wondering with horror if Door knew who he was...

Who was he?

Because he was angry he'd not noticed what she thought of him, but he did know that what she was saying also hurt.

"Okay, okay" he told her, waving his hands in horror. "So, lets say I am who and what you think I am, the question is, why did this happen and why do you care?"

[Deleted]

"I'm telling you who you were; there's a difference," said Rene. She felt like sighing in frustration again. Had Caz ever mentioned how very difficult he had been as a teenager? Maybe this was why he dealt so well with Rene; she was getting the feeling that they had more in common than she'd ever originally suspected. And he had to be handsome too. This was going to reach whole new levels of awkward if Rene didn't do something, fast.

"you could be who you think you are too," she said. More like muttered. Her hands crossed and her face crunched pensively as she attempted to sort through this all. There was an answer; had to be. Didn't mean that it was an easy one or even manageable.

"I have no idea why it happened. You did have enemies," and you were involved with an evil woman, "though you were popular with the students. Which is probably why I care," she smiled. "You were sort of my mentor."

A sigh of frustration, and Rene looked toward the sky again. Would be nice if Fate just dropped an answer on them from out of the sky.

"I guess this isn't that--" she muttered.

"Mordred," the word came out as Rene thought it. Oh dear lord, Mordred. What happened to Caz's son? "Mordred... he was.."

Look to Caz. Probably not a good idea to drop that. Instead Rene tried a smile, extending a hand.

"I'm Cimorene. Of Lindervall originally, more recently of the Mountains of Mist. First year university student, and longtime friend of a Cazaril dy Lupe."

[cazaril]

Cazaril looked at himself, at his hands, at his shoes. He wanted to ask what the past mattered...yes, it defined a person, but surely the person he was right now was the person that mattered?

But what had that person been? What had he done?

Mordred.

He wished he knew what that name meant. A name that used to mean so much. Instead he looked at Rene slightly lost, afraid and still ready to crack skulls. Instead though, she'd offered out her hand.

He blinked, surprised. "I...I guess that's one way to introduce yourself. I'll just...stick with Caz." Back histories in Caz's mind where yet to be unlocked, and he honestly just wanted them left alone at this moment in time whilst he dealt with the news.

"Guess...you'll have to take care of me now, Cimorene..." he said, but the tone wasn't normal, it was actually a little frightened. How could his life change so much in one afternoon.

He wished he was just trying to talk to Door or trying on clothes with Lottie...then he felt safe, felt secure in everything he was and who he wanted to be.

[Deleted]

"Stick with Caz," agreed Rene. She sighed, shifting slightly while she tried to think of something. "Sorry. I imagine it has to suck having someone you don't recognize telling you that everything about your life is off-kilter, and she's your friend."

It sucked even worse for her. Rene had been hoping to come back and be welcomed with open arms. To have her closest friends, mentors, and loved ones there for her. Yet here was one of the people she'd missed most, only now, he'd been permanently changed. Now he was a different person entirely, someone who didn't even remember her in the slightest. Her heart felt like it had dropped into her stomach, where it was bathing in the acid it found there. Worse, Rene had the feeling like she'd just upset someone's perfectly normal life.

"Have," she paused. Did she really want to drop another bomb on him? Might as well soldier onward. Things were going to happen, and Rene had already effectively reorganized his entire life. "Have you met anyone named Morgana?"

But would something like that stay the same? It had for some people that Rene had know. But this... this was something else entirely...

[cazaril]

The old Caz would of hated to subject this to Rene, but as the old Caz was aware - and only aware that she had left, and Morgana had left with Mordred - in the long run, it didn't matter. She was right about the man being permanently changed before her. Right about not sure how he was going to be from now on.

The one thing was certain was that presently, it wasn't clear if the old Caz would be back, and if he was, if he would ever be the same again. Problem being, why would he want too? Morgana 'had' left. He hadn't re met her after all. Why would he want that pain back?

"No...no I haven't" Caz told her, "Is she....the woman you said..." he paused barely able to admit he had been married...or even anything remotely near that as he ran a hand through his hair. "This just can't be true" he murmured, "I must be going crazy..." he said out loud, but the defeat in his voice was enough.

"What are you going to do now?" he asked her, his eyes focusing back on the girl that apparently was his friend, and at least she understood how freaked out he'd been. Coping with this wasn't easy, and he was pretty sure when he was alone he was going to do all manner of freak out.

[Deleted]

"Yes, she is," said Rene. She stared directly into Caz's eyes, seeing the confusion there. So... what she said was clicking. Odd. Even given her experiences, Rene wasn't certain she'd believe someone she just met telling her all this. Then again, Caz always had taken things a little more on faith than she. Plus they did have some kind of connection, or at least Rene kept telling herself that.

"That's generally the reaction whenever someone's under a spell," agreed Rene. She sighed. "Look, just because it's true doesn't mean you have to necessarily ignore it. This is a second chance and all... it's just... I don't know. it's your choice, in the end. Like it matters; for it to be a choice, we'd have to be able to actually do anything about it."

Rene shook her head. Problems with magic. She'd barely gotten here, and already there were problems with magic. Couldn't people just leave things well enough alone?

"Me? I'm going to see how I'm right," said Rene. She waved at Caz. "Something happened to you; something changed you, and I'll find out what. Then, it'll be your choice whether or not to change back. Honestly," she smiled sadly, "I don't think I'd change if I were you."

[cazaril]

Caz took a few seconds to breath, maybe he had taken things a little more on faith - but he had been a man who had believed in fate - before this young man had changed he had seen a world where he had been destined to save a kingdom. He had seen a prince and princess married at his help. He had decided that he belonged somewhere else, he'd belonged somewhere new. Camelot.

This man, this man who had believe this, had had an arch of his own - he'd changed in order to realize that over a course of a very dangerous year. This new Caz was not a man who believed in fate because that experience was gone - now he was a man who believed he made his own destiny and no one else had control of it.

Looked like that belief had been rocked from the core today. How was he to take Rene's words seriously? How was he to take this whole event? This wasn't just some decision to not or do not do homework assigned, this involved his past and present, his future.

Whatever Rene said, about not changing back, right now Caz knew that part of that was too late...that if that was the idea, then this all should have not happened in the first place. He needed to find out who he'd been, what he'd become, and if that man had...had business.

What if there was something unresolved before he became this new Caz after all. What if someone had done this to him on purpose? Out of revenge? Out of anger? Either way, that was what he needed to know.

"Please let me know, what you find out." he said, with a voice still quite calm, despite feeling sick. "I....really need to go."