I Understand My Potion Turned You Lesbian (Hermia)

[telemain]

It was a normal day for child, and now the teenage prodigy, Telemain as he meant over a beaker. He wore enormous goggles that covered at least half of his baby face as he peered into the deep green liquid. After a moment of careful consideration, he drew back, grabbed a feather quill, scribbled down some notes, then went to rifle through the supplies. He returned, moments later, with a tiny silver vessel. Reaching inside it, he pulled out a pinch of pink dust, which he sprinkled into the green liquid. Instantly, it fizzed noisily and by the time Telemain had recapped the vessel, it was sparkling vibrantly.

A smile crossed his face. Finally, the potion was doing what the book said it was supposed to do and maybe this time, he could give it to a test subject (and ninety-nine percent of the time, his only test subject was himself) without giving them flatulence or food poisoning or extra ears.

Carefully, he lifted his enormous goggles and rested them on his head, as he stood, hands on his hips, grinning in satisfaction with his work. Then the door to the lab opened. For a moment he looked at her, searching through his memory, trying to locate her name and how he knew her. Then it clicked.

“Oh hi!” He said, jovially, “I’m Telemain. I understand my potion turned you lesbian. How’s that working out for you?”

[Deleted]

So the whole avoiding people thing wasn’t working nearly as well as Hermia would’ve liked. The sunglasses were obviously not working, so the best she could do was keep her nose stuck in a book, even as she walked down the hallways and risked severe injury that was of course going to happen, because apparently the pursuit of not being mobbed by a bunch of fanboys and girls would, inevitably, lead to tripping all over herself, and she’d drop her book, and therefore her plans would’ve been ruined…but what choice did she have but to try?

With a sigh, she lowered her book just enough to open up the door to the lab, seeing as she had to study, and the library would ultimately fail as a location in her condition…and of course someone was already there! All but yelping, she put her book in front of her face as soon as her reflexes would allow, which turned out to be mid sentence for the other person who was there.

…wait, Telemain? She knew that name…oh yes, of course! Well no wonder she had barely recognized him, he had grown since they last saw each other over a year ago at the New Year’s party. He had been so adorable, really, how could she have refused him when he asked to dance and…and wait a moment, what had he said? She was so surprised that she dared to peek her eyes out from behind the book she was holding. “Uh hi, I remember you...did you just say your potion?” Then she remembered herself and continued hiding her face, which was probably good, because she was busy being very surprised at this new revelation.

So she was acting like a lesbian whore for six months because of his potion, which was probably given to her while they were dancing…yes, she remembered now! Something had splashed on her face…oh good gods, now it all made sense! She wasn’t just going completely crazy, apparently…now if only she could just point all of this at a potion…which she supposed was entirely possible. Gods, this was confusing.

“That actually makes a lot more sense than anything else I thought of…I think it’s pretty much worn off by now, otherwise I’d be throwing myself at more women, and trust me, I’ve had opportunity. Speaking of which, was that the only potion you used on me?”

She was actually pretty proud of herself right now, being so calm about all of this, even though she was risking the poor boy falling head over heels for her too.

[telemain]

“Oh…sorry about that. It wasn’t supposed to make you fancy ladies.” He said, politely, but he sounded more pleased with himself than actually apologetic. It had worked, even if only sort of. His potion had done something and that was something worth celebrating, from Telemain’s perspective.

“I…think so.” Telemain stripped his gloves off and laid them on the table. He turned on the faucet and washed them, his mind clearly elsewhere as he mentally tried to remember the ingredient list for that potion, which he had brewed so long ago. Turning the water off, he dried his hands on a towel and then ran them threw his hair, pushing it out of his bright, intelligent blue eyes. “No, no, that was the only one, unless it had side effects…or multiple effects!” His intense eyes lit up at the thought of multiple effects that he hadn’t even intended…in the same potion, no less! “Tell me…” He began, his interest suddenly heightened, “did anything else happen…fever, extra ears…?” He was too polite to ask whether she had had any flatulence.

In his hurry to get to her, he tripped and went sprawling. Upon the table, his newly-made and first supposedly first perfect potion wobbled dangerously, still in its beaker, unsecured and vulnerable. Telemain let out a high-pitched squeal of terror, fearful that his work would be worried, or worse, that it would spill over one or both of them. In a flash, he was staggering to his feet until he stood there, still wobbling dangerously. He flung his arms out to steady himself, grappling at anything and everything to keep him from tumbling back to the ground…or anyone.

His hand touched someone’s clothing and he whirled around. For a fraction of a second, he was face-to-face with Hermia. He only had time to notice that last time they had been in such close physical proximity, she had been taller than him, but now their roles had been reversed and then some. Then, they tumbled to the ground and he found himself on top of her, nose-to-nose with her.

He blushed, stupidly.

“Uhh, hi.”

[Deleted]

Oh, sorry. It wasn't supposed to make you fancy ladies."

Hermia blinked. Well that was certainly the oddest apology she had ever received. A bit overdue now that she thought of it, but she had spent most of her time thinking she had simply had a nervous breakdown or something of the like while she was getting rejected by every woman she had propositioned (and gods only knew there were plenty), so she supposed she really held no grudge against Telemain. She vaguely wondered how you could. Be just had one of those baby faces you couldn't stay mad at, even when they weren't appearing the least bit apologetic.

"Well I suppose it's all right. I mean, it's not like any permanent damage was done..." She blinked once again when he asked her about fevers and extra ears. Extra ears?? Why on earth would she have...unless she was his test subject! Of course, she had been so busy being surprised that the obvious hadn't occurred to her! She suddenly felt lucky to be alive, and now she was a rad miffed at being a lab rat.

In a rare moment of sarcasm, she began answering, "Oh there was a fever all right, but not in the traditional sense of the--" But then she was cut off by her own cry, because it turned out that Telemain was a very clumsy boy, because he was now clutching onto her, and even that wasn't enough to stop the two of them from falling. Away went the book that was protecting Telemain from becoming a lovesick puppy intent on being one if a long line of boys and girls who wanted to make little Hermia babies, and as if that wasn't bad enough, he was right on top of her, close enough for all sorts of things that she was hardly in the mood for!

Making a bit of a gulping noise, she tried her luck that perhaps he'd be like Bartok. You know, sane. Sane was good, highly preferable to overly grand love confessions and mobs of screaming fans. "Hi...this is a bit awkward, mind getting off of me?" Please don't be in love with me, please oh please oh please! Aphrodite, if you're listening, help!!!