Lean On Me ( PLUM )

[door]

Door wasn't really doing well at the moment. Her magic was on the mend, sure. Hell, in that department, she was better than she had been before. But that was about all that was going right with her. She thought that things with Caz were...stabilizing. Yes, he was still reeling from having to deal with all the changes, but things seemed like they were getting a little better.

And then they went to the book festival. And it started so well! They were laughing, they were holding hands...and then everything came back to him. In an instant. He was calm, she was screaming and somehow, in that mess of emotions that she barely understood, she realized she loved him. It wasn't a crush, it wasn't 'liking'...it was capital L love.

She was frankly humiliated. Caz didn't seem to have a problem with her behavior (what the hell did he mean he didn't kiss every girl on the cheek) but she was fairly sure that she had started avoiding places she knew he would be. And that was just...pathetic. Caz was a good friend, someone who relied on her, and she was a bit ashamed of herself.

It was time to bust out the reinforcements.

Door knocked on the door to Plum's place, sticking her hands in her pockets for lack of something else to do.

[Deleted]

Plum, for once, was actually not doing a thing. She had done paperwork and homework for a while, but had quickly grown tired. She kept odd hours anyways, and was usually up during the ungodly hours of the morning when most people were sleeping. But honestly there was too much to do to just sleep all at once. She usually slept at intervals at all times during the day.

And sleeping was exactly what Plum was doing. Luckily she was a light sleeper and the knock on her door was more than enough to not only wake her up, but have her springing from her bed to answer the door, completely forgetting that she was wearing her pajamas.

Upon opening the door Plum found her friend. “Door, what a lovely surprise,” she said, then really took in the girl’s appearance. “Come in,” she said gently, not wanting to press Door. She seemed a little out of sorts which made Plum curious, but she really wasn’t going to be so completely rude and directly ask. “Would you care for some tea or any kind of beverage? Can I get you anything?” she asked instead.

[door]

Plum's big smile did a lot to calm her down. Door had really only opened up to Caz and she was a little afraid to speak so totally with Plum. Hell, she was afraid to speak so totally with anyone. She didn't like the idea of having to admit that she was in love. This wasn't really the way she wanted the first time she fell to go.

Door smiled. "Tea would be fantastic, if you can manage." Plum's home was sort of exactly the way Door would have bet. It was warm, bright, magic looking and a bit feminine. It was sweet, a bit perfect for the girl. "Oh, hey, did you hear The Slap? We're making headlines, darling." Door wanted to sound a bit more like herself than she did. The Slap was a perfect topic to try and sound light and airy on.

Door followed her into the kitchen, playing with her hands. She wasn't sure how to approach this. How do you ask a friend "Hey, can I sort of dump everything I've been dealing with on your shoulders"? Even if Plum was such a sweetie and even if she really would be interested in helping, Door was sort of embarrassed by the whole thing.

[Deleted]

Door wanted tea and tea she would get. And of course nothing goes better with tea than some kind of sweet dessert. And of course Plum had plenty of those. Her cupboards were simply brimming with just about any kind of sweet thing you could desire. She nodded at her friend. “Of course I handle tea.”

She closed the door behind her friend and then led the way to the kitchen. “Yes, I did hear The Slap. I found it quite amusing,” she said with a light laugh. She did like to keep up with the news and that was really the only reason she had been interested in hearing The Slap at all. Of course, one must always take gossip with a grain of salt. But it had been entertaining.

Plum set the kettle on the stove and turned the burner on. The kettle was one of those magical refilling ones. It was always full, which was really quite handy. She turned back to her friend and noticed that she didn’t seem quite at ease. “Something on your mind?”

[door]

It was rather amusing that the Slap had pegged her and Plum as a potential couple. Door really hadn't contemplated that such a thing was going to happen. She honestly found it funny and she was pretty sure that she had been getting some looks around campus.

Door had been hoping to put off revealing all of what had been going on but Plum narrowed in on her. The blonde could read her very well, it was just fact. It was interesting to have a best friend, someone that she could do to with problems just like this one. It had been a long time since she had that sort of relationship.

"Plum...do you remember the other day on stage? I told you that a lot of stuff was happening and that I'd talk to you about it soon but I couldn't right then? That things were too new?" Door licked her lips and leaned against the counter. She kept playing with her hands. "I think I need to talk about it. Do you have some time?"

[Deleted]

Plum had been getting some looks when she went places, but she tactfully ignored them, or pretended not to see. She honestly didn’t care that she was getting strange looks. If other people were going to be immature about it then it was their problem, not hers.

Anyways, this conversation seemed to be taking a rather serious turn. “Of course I remember,” she told Door. That conversation wasn’t the most vivid. She had been pretty sick that day, but she did remember Door saying something along those lines and that she’d come talk when she needed.

“I always have time for you, dear,” she told Door gently. The girl really was her best friend here and she wanted to be here for her if Door needed her. And now she was needed and Plum was ready to listen to whatever Door needed to say.

[door]

Plum was just...an utter doll. Without a moments hesitation, she was inviting Door to open up. It really did make Door feel lucky to have a friend like her.

Door sighed and licked her lips. "I have feelings for someone. Very very strong feelings. And this is something that really can't happen. Or, at least, I think it can't happen about 60% of the time. Then the rest of the time we're somewhere between holding hands, hugging and making each other cry." It sounded crazier out loud than it did in her head. She must have been absolutely losing it.

"I know that it sounds bad but I've never felt this way before for anyone in my life. My emotions are..duller, than other peoples and this guy makes me feel so strongly. I don't know how to handle this anymore." Door looked down to her hands, not wanting to look at her friend. She was careful with her language, not wanting to but either of them in a weird situation by accidentally utterly 'wish'. "I've tried being supportive and kind and patient and I don't think he's trying to hurt me but I feel like a damned yoyo."

She sighed, running a hand over the back of her head. Her hair was coming back in. "I don't even know what I want to happen. Which is really making the whole thing worse."

[Deleted]

Plum knew how much a girl sometimes needed a good friend who would just listen without complaining or interjecting or talking over her. Sometimes being able to feel free to just talk helped. Plum knew all this. She knew how important it was for someone to just be there to support them. In all of her years ruling over a Kingdom it had always been a comfort to be able to turn to her friends for support. She knew how much this would mean to Door, just to listen.

But as Door spoke, the more and more Plum began to realize just how much Door had been holding on to. And especially the unrequited love part. Plum knew all about that. She knew what it felt like to want something so badly and then have all your dreams crushed. Plum had been in love with the Nutcracker Prince, but he never loved her. So she could understand completely how it felt to be unsure of your relationship with someone you care for deeply.

She waited until Door was finished speaking then she leaned over and gave her friend a hug. Then she pulled back and looked Door in the eyes. “I’m so sorry. That’s terrible.” She could have said that she understood, but people usually hated that. No one could really understand anyway. So she said the next best thing. “I think it’s time to break out the chocolate chip cookies.”

[door]

Door hugged the blonde, appreciating physical support. She wrapped her arms around the girl in return. It was always amazing how something like a hug, which solved absolutely no problem, could make anyone feel better in times like this. She had forgotten how really helpful displays of affection could be when you were as depressed as Door.

She chuckled. Sweets sounded perfect. "Your know me so well."

She turned around, watching as Plum went to get a sweet out of her cabinets. "I'm sorry to just completely dump all that stuff out on your shoes; I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now. There are points where I'm feeling really really good and points where I'm feeling so bad and...I'm just all over the place. And it's exhausting."

[Deleted]

Plum knew just how wonderful hugs could be when you needed one. Signs of physical affection usually seemed to have a good effect no matter how depressed a person was or how much they were going through. A squeeze of the hand, a gentle touch, or a hug were sometimes all a person needed to feel even an ounce better and remember that there was someone out there who cared for them.

Plum smiled as she turned to one of the cabinets, knowing instantly which one was full of cookies. “Of course, you’re one of my best friends,” she replied opening the door to the cabinet and pulling out a paper box. It was a magic box of course, which kept the cookies fresh forever. They never went stale, no matter how long ago they had been made.

She turned back to her friend and opened the box, offering the other girl a cookie. “Door, it’s fine,” she said softly. “We all need to vent. We all need to talk about what bothers us. It’s what makes us people with feelings. If we didn’t have feelings we wouldn’t need to talk about them. But it’s all okay, because it does get better. I promise.”

[door]

Door took a bite of the cookie, happily biting into it. She tried to just focus on the confection, letting the rest of the worries scamper off. It didn't work particularly well but it was nice to have a temporary distraction that was also delicious.

"Plum, I've never felt this stuff before. I feel like everything I'm going through is a thousand times stronger than anything I've ever felt. I haven't experienced something this deeply since my father was killed. I don't know how to handle it." Door bit into the cookie again. She leaned her head back against the cabinets.

"I don't know if this is going to get better, sweetie. He's...not himself. And everything is just...moments? He's so lost and scared and hurt and angry and I can't do anything. I just get these moments of him smiling or laughing and..." She let out a sigh again. How was supposed to truly explain what was going on here.

"I don't feel optimistic about this one, Plum. And that's coming from me"

[Deleted]

Door was being very open and honest, telling Plum things she’d never said before and Plum just listened and didn’t press Door for answers to the questions that were building in her mind. She needed to get this out and though it wasn’t making a whole lot of sense to Plum she was going to let Door just talk it out because sometimes that worked. Sometimes that was what people needed.

Plum did feel for her friend as she munched on her own cookie. She wanted to help, but getting involved would probably not make things better in this situation. It would have to be the two of them mashing this thing out on their own and Plum would standby and be a supportive friend.

She sighed and moved to put an arm around Door. “I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I wish I could help, but I don’t think I can. But whatever you’re feeling, it’s good to talk about. And, maybe not just with me. Maybe you should tell him how you feel and then go from there. If he doesn’t know he’s hurting you, he can’t fix the problem, can he?” Of course this was all easier said than done, but Plum believed in what she said. “And I’ll always be hear no matter what happens.”

[door]

"If this was a normal situation Plum, I would tell him. If it was just a normal boy who I liked, who I loved, I would have no problem telling him how I felt. But...he's not normal. And I don't mean in the like 'the boy I love is special' way, I mean it in the 'one my revelation about his reality might break his brain' sort of way." Door shrugged her shoulders. It was the fear of rejection that was keeping Door from being honest with Caz (okay, yes, this was a bit of a contributing factor) but there was more to it than that. Caz was in this really fragile mental state and the last thing she wanted to do was make it harder for him.

She sighed and folded her arms over her chest, bringing the cookie to her mouth again. "There's really no answer to this one, hun." Door leaned over and placed her head on Plum's shoulder. Despite all the difficulty of the moment, all the hardship, it really helped to know that she had a friend like Plum who was willing to listen to her go on and on.

[Deleted]

Plum honestly had no idea what Door was saying. Did she love him then? Because if she was actually in love with him then of course she was going to be much more emotionally attached, thus making this whole….thing that much harder. Plum was actually a little surprised at just how attached and involved Door seemed to be. And yet she seemed to be trying to talk about it but not quite getting everything out in the open. She seemed to be deflecting it. Plum should know, that was exactly what she did. She minimized her own pain so as to not to burden anyone else.

“Well, if there’s not an answer then the least I can do is make you feel better. You want to have a girls night in? We can watch a terrible movie, eat popcorn and have our own running commentary about the movie.” If she couldn’t help Door with her actual situation she at least wanted her friend to have some fun. She looked like she could use it and Plum was more than happy to oblige.

[door]

Door smiled a small, sad smile. She lifted her shoulder off of the girl's shoulder. "Honestly darling, thank you. I know I'm sort of being a bit vague and maybe a little dramatic but just talking to you really helped. Thanks." Her smile spread a little bit. "And a girl's night sort of sounds perfect."

They left the sweets behind and headed towards Plum's living room. Door touched some of the furniture, looking down. She liked how much this place felt like Plum. It sort of glowed the same way she did, all warm and natural magic. It had that sort of calming effect that someone would hope for when they were overwhelmed.

Before the got far, before they moved on too much, Door sighed. "It's Caz." She knew she didn't have to mention the name but she thought that it might offer Plum a bit more of an insight as to why she was so screwed up. Besides, Plum was...Plum reminded Door of a sister. And she wanted to be totally honest with her. "Just figured you should know."