Don't Be A Drag Just Be A Queen (Arkady)

[Tristian]

For about the third time since he had entered the 24 hour supermarket at 2am in the morning the woman next to him did a double take, gasped and quickly walked away, looking back just to make sure she had seen what she had thought she had seen. For about the third time since he had entered the 24 hour supermarket at 2am in the morning, Tristian rolled his eyes and reassured himself that they just couldn't handle how gorgeous he was. The plan had been to come in quickly, get everything he needed to get and get back out, much in the same manner many of his relationships went. However as usual when entering a shop he had found himself tottering up and down the aisles after he had seen the deal for three for the price of one on the face wipes he usually used. He had found the wipes but had managed to pick up a basket on the way and had decided that now was as good at time as any to get a few groceries. His companion was probably, at this point, throwing up against a wall due to his intake of alcohol and it would probably be best to wait until they had finished before returning. The last thing he wanted to do was a kiss someone who still tasted of sick.

As he passed by the sweets aisle he picked up some mints and placed them in the basket.

As much as he complained about having to get the shopping for the week he actually quite enjoyed it, wandering up and down leaning on the trolley, looking for the best deals, the best foods. It was therapeutic in a way, something that he could control. He knew most of the workers there since he was in at least once a week every week, and found himself waving to one of the workers who was stacking shelves in the tinned section. She waved back, smiling happily and said, “Looking good Tris.”

“I always do,” he said as he continued to strut towards the alcohol section, sweeping the long red hair in a toss worthy of a shampoo advert.

As his black high heeled shoes clicked on the shops floor he headed immediately for the spirits section, decided he needed to be a lot more inebriated if he was really going to go home with this one. Picking up one of the bottles he attempted to read the label only to find that it was definitely not in a language he understood. What was with these supermarkets importing stuff instead of buying brands? Although he did note that it was cheaper, he wanted to make sure it didn't have rat poison in it or something. Or perhaps a warning that said, 'only drink if you were weaned on vodka since birth.'

One of the woman from before had just been about to turn down the aisle when they saw him and double backed.

Maybe it was the make-up, maybe they all felt so inferior to his wonderfully applied mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick. Or perhaps it was the figure hugging white dress padded out a bit to give the illusion he had certain parts that he didn't have at birth, maybe they thought that he just wore it so well it really put their own figure and legs to shame. Or maybe it was the shoes. Yes it had to be the shoes, the lovely shiny white shoes, women were always jealous of shoes. He made quite a convincing woman, after all being Guinevere's son she had taught him all the best tricks, but somehow most women could guess, most of them realised.

Men. Not so much. Which usually led to rather embarrassing situations.

Looking at the label he squinted at it and mumbled, “do they expect me to know bloody Russian now...or elvish?”

[Deleted]

This was humiliating. As if it wasn’t bad enough that his parents had deprived him of the life of luxury that was meant to be his, but now they were actually going to cut off his allowance? Sure, he had worked before back home, they had all had to pitch in except his little sister, but if they expected him to stay here then they should be willing to foot the entire bill, including all entertainment costs. But no, they had decided to put him on a budget, one that someone of his forced means could survive on, but if he was going to make this plan of his work then he needed a little extra lining his pockets.

Of course he had had to realise this late, after all the good jobs were already snatched up. Well, at least the supermarket let him take the graveyard shift where there was less of a chance of anyone important seeing him. See what he parents thought when his grades started to suffer because he wasn’t getting enough sleep.

Replacing a few items on the shelves that people had been so kind as to bring up to the counter then decide they couldn’t afford them, Arkady started when he heard a voice the next aisle over. It took him a moment to realise that the woman wasn’t talking to him, but to herself, and he could have easily just ignored it, but he was bored, and the opportunity to show off a bit was presenting itself. Who was he to turn it down?

“I can’t help you with the Elvish, but I do speak Russian,” he offered as he walked around to the right aisle, charming grin already in place.

[Tristian]

At the sound of the very recognisable voice Tristian almost dropped the Vodka, however on re-evaluation of the tone of said voice he came to the conclusion that the other guy hadn’t realised. Yet. It was only a matter of time before he did, even if they had only met once, even if he didn’t completely recognise him as Tristian, he wasn’t an idiot. Well, he hoped he wasn’t an idiot, he didn’t appear to be an idiot when they had last met. Then again if he was an idiot then he was safe, the secret would be kept and hey maybe he could see how far this Arkady would believe him, get in a little unknowing flirting. But what if he did know? What if he was just playing it cool, waiting for the opportunity to make a mockery of him? If he would use a young girl to gain credibility he was sure to use this and Tristian wouldn’t be able to do anything else other than respect it for him.

He was completely at the other boys mercy and he wasn’t sure he liked that feeling. Tristian always had the upper hand, always knew everything first and was never surprised like this. However, if he had been taught anything by his dear mother it was to remain confident and unfazed by anything thrown your way. And also to remain absolutely fabulous whilst doing so.

Tristian smiled and said in his best ‘girl’ voice which was frighteningly like his mothers, “That’s very kind of you, would you mind telling me if this is drinkable? And by drinkable I mean is it strong enough that I forget who I’m with tonight but weak enough that I wont die.”

[Deleted]

The low voice of a mumble was suddenly transformed into something much higher as the woman spoke to him directly. His brow twitching downward barely perceptively, Arkady kept his grin in place, even throwing a chuckle in for good measure. Holding his hand out for the bottle, he gave the label a once over.

“Yes and no,” he replied, looking up into the strangely familiar face. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it yet, but he was sure he had met her somewhere before. “It would definitely make you forget, but I can’t guarantee it won’t kill you.”

Putting the bottle back on the shelf, Arkady motioned for the customer to follow him down the aisle, stopping in front of the Tequila. “Now this is good for forgetting, and you can make an interesting game out of the shots,” he replied, waggling his eyebrows at her. “I’m pretty sure it won’t kill you, but you might feel like you want to die in the morning. Pretty much anything that makes you forget will probably leave you feeling that way.”

She was a bit more solid than most of the frail little princesses he met here, and while not entirely unattractive, she was sadly lacking a bit on curves. By the sounds of it she was no fairy princess, or if she was she was a desperate one, deciding to drink her face off until any common frog looked like a prince.

[Tristian]

Tristian took the bottle of tequila and smiled at the other boy, knowing that even though he detested the taste of the stuff he would probably end up drinking it anyway. Not just because of the handsome Adonis of the human race that was advising him but because it really would make him forget. He smirked and said in the same high tone, “Well I will gladly take the hangover to the memories and as you say, fun games.”
 
There was a loud indistinguishable yell from outside of the supermarket which caused Tristian to involuntary wince. Whilst no one else might have been able to make out with the loud male voice said he could pretty much guess. Oh he definitely knew how to pick them, he really did. That was the problem with having the same taste in men as his mother, she could never talk him out of his terrible attraction to smooth talking, arrogant idiots.
 
He smirked with a little less feeling a little more…exasperation? Sadness? The fact that he had resorted to this because every day the talent in that damn club got worse and worse? Well whatever the situation he always attempted to make the best of it. “That’s Tarzan calling, I better go,” he said already taking a step back and pushing a bit of loose (wig) hair behind his ear, “thanks for your help, you’ve been an absolutely darling. My Russian reading knight in armour.”

[Deleted]

Nodding his head when she accepted the bottle, Arkady was about to take his leave and return to his work when he heard the yelling from outside. It really wasn’t anything unusual for the graveyard shift, but the sudden change in the girl’s demeanor made it clear just who this particular ruffian was yelling for. Furrowing his brow at the expression that crossed her face, another wave of recognition hit him but passed again before he could quite catch it.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” he replied, blue eyes shifting toward the outer doors. “A knight in shining armour would have prevented you from needing any drink at all.”

Unfortunately, that certainly wasn’t Arkady. He was no saviour, he didn’t run around rescuing damsels in distress. If they were stupid or desperate enough to get mixed up with ogres like the one that was presumably waiting outside then that was their problem. Heroism was a thankless job, and he hardly saw the point in doing anything that wasn’t going to benefit him.

“On the plus side, it’s a heavy bottle. Makes a good weapon too.” One more charming smile, clearly joking.

Probably.

[Tristian]

“Well yes, you’re right about that, but then Knights in shining armour are so hard to find these days,” said Tristian smiling sadly, “one has to make the best of what’s around and even then it doesn’t hurt to have a little alcohol ease the pain.”

He had no rose tinted view of the world, he wasn’t even half the romantic that his mother was having had the harsh reality of the world thrust in his face from a very young age. However instead of complaining that it just wasn’t fair, that he didn’t deserve it, he decided to make the most of it. If the world got in your way you side stepped around it and tripped up, giving it a good kick in the privates whilst it was down on the ground. Which is why he did what he did without any fear of staining his conscience or soul.

Looking confused for a moment wondering what it was the other boy meant by it he then smirked as realisation dawned. Not willing to fight for him but smart out to point out how he might defend himself. He didn’t know whether to knock 5 points off for lack of chivalry or give him 10 points more for self preservation. Patting his cheek he said, “Oh don’t worry about me-” As if he was, “-I can take care of myself darling. Besides, the last thing I want to see this evening is a shop assistant being beaten to a pulp by a drunken idiot. That kind of thing could hurt your pride.”

 

Now it would be interesting which would out; self-reservation or ego.

[Deleted]

That smirk... there was definitely something familiar about that smirk. The idea began to form in Arkady’s mind even as the girl continued to talk. He knew he had met her before, or at least seen her. The voice was completely foreign, so maybe they had never spoken, but he had definitely seen her, maybe with less make-up and... shorter hair?

It was how he said ‘darling’, though, that was the real kicker.

Wait... he?

“Well, I, um,” Arkday stumbled over his words as realisation dawned. No, it couldn’t be... could it? It was too weird. He had to be imagining things... but then again...

“Pfft, he wouldn’t even touch me,” he recovered quickly, putting on a strong air of bravado. In all honesty, it was probably true. Arkady had quite the temper on him, and while he was greedy and selfish, he seemed to care little for his physical well being. In short, he was no stranger to fighting.

Nor was he a stranger to choosing his words carefully to draw out just what he wanted to know.

“Wouldn’t you rather ditch that loser, leave the killer cocktails behind and just go for one of those fancy coffees with all the trimmings?”

In this case, though, he wasn’t sure if he wanted the target to take the bait. There was still a change he was wrong...

[Tristian]

Well now that wasn’t so charming. It seemed, to Tristian, that it was his statement that had put the other boy off and made him stumble over his words however he quickly recovered. Although he wasn’t certain that the boys boast would actually be the case. Sizing up Arkady and the man outside…well…it would maybe perhaps be a fair contest, right up until the other man smashed that lovely pretty face into a wall. There was fighting and there was trying not to let the other man beat you up as badly as he could. To Tristian, Arkady had the kind of attitude that even when he was getting his face driven into the dirt would come out with some witty comment.

Before Tristian could say ‘you know that mouth will get you into some deep trouble some day’ the boy was speaking again and what he said made the colour drain from his face. Not that anyone would really notice because of the make up, but still, it didn’t stop that dropping sensation in his stomach. This was not good.

It was a ruse, a trick because the other boy had worked it out…coffee with all the trimmings, he had almost replied as well. He had almost automatically began to launch into his rant about coffee and it’s inferiority to tea. So how would he play it now, if the other boy had seen past the make up, the dress, the wig, the fake…well the fake everything then he only had two options. Keep playing along and watch out for the pitfalls…or come clean. Neither really gave him the upper hand, and whilst one seemed much more terrifying than the other there really was no choice at all. Not if he already knew.

Smirking he reached forwards and brushed off a little bit of flint from the other boys shoulder, “Oh come now Arkady, I think we both know that tea is the far superior drink. It’s so classy and sweet and not too overpowering as coffee with all it’s…trimings. So I see the penny dropped at last…I did wonder how long it would take you.”

The first rule of being caught out; pretend you don’t care.

[Deleted]

Arkady wasn’t sure what to expect after he’d thrown the bait out there and, even more, he didn’t know what he hoped would happen. On one hand, she could claim to love coffee and take his words as an invitation, expecting him to ditch his job and go buy her one, which would really leave Arkady still wondering. On the other hand, he could launch into a rant about this ridiculousness of modern coffee and the superiority of plain old tea and then Arkady would know that Tristian Pendragon, son of King Arthur, liked to dress up as a woman and pick up men in his free time.

Neither option was really that appealing, to be honest.

Apparently there was a third hand, though the outcome was all the same as the second. It was true, this girl was no girl, and his rich and powerful acquaintance had quite the bombshell of a secret. Looking Tristian over again with wide eyes, Arkady flinched away from the light touch as the lint was brushed from the shoulder of his uniform. Slapping his hands over his face, he rubbed them down his face before stopping with them, palms together, over his lips for a moment. He wasn’t even sure how to handle himself, let alone what to say. So he came off with the first question that came to mind

“Does he know,” Arkady asked, gesturing to the front doors of the store where Tristian’s... date? waited outside.

[Tristian]

As reactions went it wasn’t the worst. Indeed he had nightmares about anyone finding out about his little secret, or him telling people his little secret…both little secrets for that matter. Before this moment there were currently four people of his family and close friends that knew of his preferences and only two of them knew about his other night time activities. And now Arkady knew. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice, he had been found out or was about to be found out, he had too, as they say, come out of the sparkly closet. It wasn’t a completely awful feeling he discovered, it was close to awful but he had tougher skin than most and refused to let the hurt show when Arkady physically flinched from his touch.
 
He was in shock, apparently, Tristian supposed he had a right to be a little cautious, it was something he probably hadn’t dealt with before. Tristian had grown up with it, his mother being one of the most open minded people he knew and well…there was his father. Not everyone had the same upbringing.
 
He laughed at the other boys statement before returning to his default smirk, “In the current state he’s in I don’t think he really cares so long as he gets what he wants. However if it eases your conscience then yes, he knows.”
 
Looking down at his nails, feigning disinterest in the whole affair when everything inside of him was telling him to run away and hide he said, “Welcome to Tintagel Arkady. It provides opportunities that are otherwise unavailable to us at home. The Prince can be with and do whatever he wants without the weight of responsibility that plagues him back home.”
 
Smirking a little more he said in a much quieter tone, “and the little poor boy from nowhere, with no prospects, no connections, a pretty face and a lot of potential can be somebody. Can be known. So long as he kept in with the right kind of people. The people that could help him on the road to popularity…”

[Deleted]

Arkady was horrified by the answer he received, and it certainly did not ease his conscience at all, not that he really had much of one for some nobody off the street. But as a guy, he was pretty sure it didn’t matter how drunk Tristian’s ‘date’ was, he would not be getting what he wanted tonight. What he wanted was, presumably, to get laid by a girl. Arkady couldn’t just see him shrugging his shoulders when he found some... things out of place and just going for it anyway. If someone had tried to pull this schtick on him, he would definitely beat them to a pulp. At least.

The very thought of it gave him more to be horrified by. It very well could have been him out there. Would Tristian have tried this on him? Did he want to?

“This has nothing to do with being a prince,” Arkady replied, sounding both astonished and disgusted. The irony that his own situation with Dusty wasn’t really that different in essence was completely lost on him. They were both pretending to be someone they weren’t to get what they want, but for the first time in days his own con had completely slipped his mind.

Tristian wasn’t finished, though, and the more Arkady listened, the more conflicted he became. He hated having his own social shortcomings thrown back in his face, especially by someone who had no idea who he really was... really should have been, and someone who had everything he should have had. On the other hand, the implication of the words was beyond clear, and the weight of what had just happened as well. He had information now, devastating information about someone very powerful and important, information that Tristian obviously wanted very badly to keep secret, and he was offering Arkady what he wanted to make sure that happened.

Interesting...

“This is also a place where security and popularity can be easily shattered by just a little bit of damning information,” he replied, his discomfort fading as his greed and self preservation took over.

[Tristian]

Well now that just wasn’t playing nice.

It was amazing how quickly the boy recovered, got his wits about him and hit back with his statement. Tristian continued to smirk, not allowing one crack in his carefully composed self to show the anger, hurt and downright annoyance at the other boys actions and words. As if what he was wearing made him any less of the prince he was. Clothes, were of course, important, he would always be the first to agree with that if he wasn’t the first one saying, but it was so much more that the clothes. It was so much more than a title. It was the way you acted, the way you held yourself, the way you could bend everyone to your will with just a simple word or gesture. Wearing a dress or having a different preference in partners, didn’t matter. As much as he hated to admit it, his father was proof of that.

He wasn’t quite sure which course of action he wanted to do more; smack Arkady in that gorgeous face and push it into the ground with his heel, a very appealing idea, or run away to a quite room and just…brood. He decided neither would be beneficial or useful, he didn’t want to ruin his shoes and he would probably get into the first minute of brooding and think it was ridiculous anyway and stop. It was time to stand up to the little insolent boy and put him in his place. No more mister nice drag queen prince.

First of all he laughed, and continued smiling.

“Now that is a bold move, and a good one if you had been speaking to anyone other than myself,” he said and almost managed to sound praising, “but darling, you really have to learn this game before you start trying to break the rules.”

Tristian moved in closer and the smile dropped, just a little, and he said in a low not quite threatening tone, “you see, there isn’t a shred of gossip, a whisper of rumour that doesn’t start or pass through me. I’m not merely the top of the grapevine. I’m the whole d*** thing. And, when you start spreading this little bit of gossip, trust me, I’ll turn it around on you and I’ll come out smelling like this years Calvin Klein and you’ll be the one covered in last years Britney spears perfume.”

No doubt the references would be lost on him but if anything it made him feel a lot better about the entire situation. In his stride and element on the outside, cowering and wishing he could run away on the inside, he took a step back and looked at Akrady up and down with the air of someone regretful, “Which would be such a shame for someone with so much potential. With just a few alterations to your wardrobe, a little attitude readjustment and a little teaching from yours truly, you could be so much more than a second rate blackmailer. But, c’est la vie.”

He started re-arranging his hair before putting his hands on his hips and striking the most girlish stance he could think of, “Well come on then, you’ll need to back your gossip up with some photographic evidence. People aren’t just going to take your word for it. You may not appreciate my lifestyle choices but you can d*** well blackmail me properly. I can at least be afforded that courtesy.”

[Deleted]

It was rather hard to appear threatening when standing there in full make-up and a dress, but somehow Tristian managed it. It wasn’t so easy to ruin one in power, especially when it is a nobody trying to do it, and without anything but a little word of mouth at that. The threat might have been a little more effective had Arkady known who these Calvin and Britney people were, but it got the point across nonetheless. The fact of the matter was that Tristian knew things too, things that could blow Arkady’s plan out of the water, and he did have the reputation and power to back it up whether he had evidence or not.

This all had to be played out very carefully.

So Arkady just stood there and listened as Tristian went on again about his potential, clenching his jaw and his fists. A wardrobe and attitude adjustment? He was supposed to be Tsesarevich of the House of Romanov, if such a thing still existed. If he had that title then nobody would dare say that to him.

Still, he held his tongue. He had to keep his temper under control for once, his plans and goals depended on it.

Then the smug prince had to o and primp himself and dare him to take a picture. No, Arkady couldn’t fault the logic there, but unfortunately he didn’t have a camera on him. For a moment he just stared at the other... boy, looking more and more uncomfortable by the second.

“Come on, man, that’s disturbing,” he finally said, taking a step closer and gesturing for Tristian to drop the stance. Alright, time to get this game going. He just had to play his cards right, and maybe they could both come out of this winners. “Blackmail is such an ugly word. I wouldn’t do that to a friend, especially one who so graciously offered to help me with my own image.”

On one hand, the idea of accepting advice about his image from a boy in a dress was ridiculous. On the other, who better to get advice from than someone who had everyone else fooled?

“I am sure we can work something out, no?” This was said with his most charming grin, of course. Not to be condescending, but because it never hurt to use his best assets.

[Tristian]

Arkady was certainly dropping points every time he opened his mouth so much so that one more word and that was it, Tristian was just going to have to smack that pretty little face. It would be such a shame to put that lovely nose out of joint and make one of those beautiful blue eyes all big, purple and swollen, but nobody called him ‘disturbing’. Especially not little nobody’s like this who clearly couldn’t see beauty when he saw it, such a shame.

Sarcastic remark coming to the ready he was thrown off not only by the boy coming towards him, but by what he was saying as well. He relaxed his pose and stood up straight, looking at the boy with the smirk still in place, even if on the inside something completely different was happening. What was it? Oh yes…relief. It was going to be fine, no one was going to find out, this silly little scruff bag was going to keep his secret because he knew what was good for him. Well then, apparently this little tramp could be taught a few lessons without bashing him about the head.

Oh and now he was smiling that lovely dashing smile that he had seen him use back at the coffee store. That lovely dashing smile that he wished had been turned on him instead of the silly little waitress… it was just a pity that it was attached to such a narrow-minded, walking male part of the anatomy, who luckily had a good idea about self-preservation and how to get exactly what he wanted.

An idea was beginning to form in his brain which made him smile a little more, the smirk changing to something a little softer, a little…happier. “I’m sure we can, friend” he said moving closer to Arkady, “I’m a little tied up this evening, other plans and all that which I‘m sure you have no interest in, but we should meet, soon.”

Tristian looked down at his clothes, “we’ll do a little shopping, get you some thing’s to…help with your image. But darling the best thing that’s going to help it, is just being seen with me. Any party, any event that I am invited too, you will be invited too and I must ask you, as your mentor and patron, not to make a fool of yourself unless I say so because it is beneficial, understand?”

Without waiting for an agreement he walked away a little, towards the checkout. After a few steps away he paused and turned around slowly, “…and you?…what do you intend to do for me? After all…a friendship is a two way street.”