An act of desperation (Plum)

[Dimitri]

He could do this, he had to do this. To be completely honest, the last thing Dimitri wanted to do was meet with this woman, but he was running out of options and, frankly, he was getting desperate.

It was all just some stupid spell. None of it was real, not the marriage or the... dying. Just suck it up already!

Unfortunately that was easier said than done, because while he had obviously not been killed he could still remember it. He remembered the feel of the sword driving through him, the pain, the fear. He remembered the regrets, the anger at the unfairness of it all; and he remembered the love, the loss, the tears streaming down her beautiful face as she begged him not to leave her. It wasn't something one got over quickly.

Still, he had to try. It was all becoming too much, and since the officials were doing little to help it was time to take matters into his own hands, even if that meant facing his sort-of but not really, imaginary yet real killer.

Somedays he really hated this place.

Finding Plum seated near a roaring fire, Dimitri hesitantly approached. "Hi," he greeted awkwardly before motioning to the chair across from hers. "Do you mind if I join you?" He still couldn't look her in the eyes. In fact, he was doing his best to look anywhere accept her face.

[Deleted]

Plum was curled up in a chair by a roaring fire with a mug of hot chocolate with a candy cane stirrer and a little cinnamon on the top. It wasn’t making her feel any better but it was fairly tasty. She was lost in thought staring into the fire holding onto her mug with both hands. She jumped when Dimitri spoke to her, very nearly spilling hot chocolate everywhere. And then she looked up at the speaker and she paled. She felt like she was going to be sick. Very very sick because she remembered. She remembered killing him. She remembered how he had threatened her and she laughed at him. She remembered the annoyance she had felt. And the worst part of all was that she remembered sending sword straight into his chest. And the blood, oh the blood. She was definitely feeling nauseous now.

It took all of her upbringing not to puke right there in front of him. Instead she pushed the nausea down and only then realized that Dimitri was speaking to her and asking to sit down. She swallowed, recovered a bit of her composure and gestured to the other chair. “Please.” Her voice sounded a bit hoarse and she sipped her hot chocolate to try to get her voice back.

She was not going to be sick. She was not going to be sick. “How are you?” she asked tentatively, then regretted it immediately. How did she think he was doing? She had killed him for crying out loud. He probably wasn’t any better than she was. She sipped her hot chocolate instead. This was not going well.

[Dimitri]

Running a hand back through his hair, Dimitri rubbed the back of his neck while he waited for Plum to speak. When she finally did, he was somehow comforted, even if only a little, to find that she sounded as unsure as he felt right now. Taking a seat, he took his time getting comfortable, giving himself a few extra moments to compose himself.

It wasn’t enough.

“Well, I’m alive,” he answered, also instantly regretting his words. Sometimes cracking jokes made a difficult situation more tolerable, but was this that type of situation? Surely there was no precedent for ‘meeting the person who killed you while you were both under a spell and thinking you were other people, but when the spell wore off so did the death’, so he had to play this one by ear.

[Deleted]

Plum was in the middle of taking a sip of her chocolate when Dimitri made his joke. She choked. She nearly dropped her mug, but managed to somehow keep hold of it as she coughed and sputtered and her eyes watered. And after a moment of coughing and sputtering and trying desperately to look at least halfway composed, she managed to speak. “Excuse me,” she muttered, still feeling like she was very close to not being able to breathe properly, but she had to try anyway.

After another short round of coughing, she felt able enough to carry on a conversation, or at least speak more than two words. “I’d like to apologize for that,” she began. “I’m truly very sorry and I know that an apology will never suffice, but if there is anything I can do for you, I would be most happy to help. In any way.” Plum knew that an apology would never be enough because she herself couldn’t get the image out of her own head. She couldn’t imagine how awful it must have been for Dimitri to know that she had killed him, even if they had both been under some kind of spell.

And perhaps there was something more she could do too. She always turned to sweets in times of need. Sweets had never let her down once. They provided her with a sense of comfort when she needed it most. Perhaps she should extend that same kind of sugary comfort to Dimitri. “Do you like pie?”

[Dimitri]

Dimitri started when Plum began choking and sputtering on her drink. Jumping back to his feet, he just stood there awkwardly, unsure what he could really do to help her but feeling like he should do something since he’d been the one to cause this. After a few moments she stopped without his help, though, and he slowly sunk back down into the plush armchair. Trying to at least look more comfortable than he felt, which was not at all, he pulled one leg up to cross his ankle over the other knee and picked absently at a loose thread at the hem of his trousers while Plum continued to compose herself.

And proceed to apologise. For the briefest moment Dimitri thought he meant for her coughing fit, but then it quickly became apparent that she meant for the whole... magical fake murder thing.

“No! No... I mean, don’t apologise. It’s not like you meant it.” But she had meant it. She had purposefully driven his sword straight through him. “Well, not that you would have done it... had that really been you.” It sounded confusing and lame but it was the best he had. While he knew it was true, it was the spell that had made her act that way, it still couldn’t take away the memory. There were few people in the world who could remember what it felt like to die, and it was something that stuck with you. “What I mean is...” he struggled for a better explanation, but her sudden question took him off guard. “Pie? Well, yes... who doesn’t?”

Could this conversation get any weirder?

Don’t answer that.

[Deleted]

Plum set her drink down on the table conveniently located right next to her chair. She had a feeling that this conversation would catch her off guard more than once and she didn’t really need to choke every single time.

Dimitri was right though and Plum was following along. Had she been herself she never would have done anything so horrible to another human being. She didn’t touch weapons for a reason. They were dangerous and more often than not, in the wrong hands, could hurt or kill someone. If she ever had the misfortune to have children they wouldn’t go anywhere near weapons. She would never want them to know what it felt like to kill someone.

Good, he liked pie. Well, in the department she was something of an expert and she happened to have a pie with her. She reached down and picked up the bag that she had set on the floor. It was much bigger than it looked, because of course the bag was a magical bag. She reached into the bag and rummaged around for a moment. “Had I been myself I never would have killed you, but Hellgut, the blue witch, is a different creature entirely. And while I was not quite myself, Hellgut became a part of me.” The memories of that creature who looked and sounded just like herself were horrific at best. They gave Plum nightmares. But she didn’t have time to dwell on the horrid memories or the nightmares where she became Hellgut permanently because just at that moment her fingers closed around a box.

Plum pulled the box from her bag and held it out to Dimitri. “I hope you like apple pie.”

[Dimitri]

Dimitri watched curiously as Plum began rooting through her bag, talking the whole time. It was so strange to be talking about this, how she had killed him and how he had died, when he was able to be sitting here, alive. It made no sense, it should have been impossible, but then he’d learned over the past few years that nothing was impossible in this place.

“I know what you mean,” he replied slowly, running a hand back through his hair. “I know I’m not Rory, but I’ve still got two thousand years of memories in my head that aren’t mine.” Not to mention the feelings. Not that he hadn’t loved Anya before, but the depth of Rory’s feelings for Amy, willing to stand by her for centuries, to protect her even though he couldn’t really be with her... it was more than Dimitri could bear. He had to fix this, or at least do something about it. Before he could decide how to broach the subject, though, Plum suddenly pulled an entire pie, box and all, out of her bag and held it out to him. For a moment he just sat there, looking from the pie to her face to the bag and then back again.

“Bigger on the inside than it is on the outside?” he questioned, pointing to what must have been a magic bag.

[Deleted]

It was a slight comfort to know that she wasn’t the only one plagued with memories that weren’t her own. She wasn’t alone in that, but she felt alone in the fact that she, or rather Hellgut, had killed someone. She might have been able to live a bit more comfortably if it had been an accidental killing, but it hadn’t been. It had been cold-blooded murder. Hellgut had wanted to kill him from the very beginning. It made her want to squirm, but Plum’s training made her sit still. No ruler squirmed under pressure, no matter how awful and uncomfortable they felt. She would remain composed.

She listened as Rory talked and realized that Hellgut had had no idea what the boy’s name was that she killed. She had no intention of knowing either. Plum felt chilled at that. She had killed Rory without ever knowing his name. And he had two thousand years of memories? “That’s a lot of memories,” she commented. Even she wouldn’t live that long.

Plum noticed the confusion when she pulled the pie out of her bag. She was surprised that he could put together the pieces. Most people just looked at her or asked how she did that. “Yes,” she told him. “But this is nothing in comparison to my magical wardrobe. Being a fairy has its perks I suppose.”

[Dimitri]

“You’re telling me,” Dimitri chuckled wryly at the comment. ‘A lot of memories’ didn’t even begin to cover it. He had seen wars rage, empires fall, but through it all only one thing had mattered: protecting Amy. Of course it wasn’t all action and heroics, there had been plenty of quiet time too, and that had been the worst. So much time spent with nothing to do but think and watch that damn box; it was a wonder he hadn’t gone insane like the Doctor had warned him; some days he thought maybe he had.

But no, that wasn’t him, that wasn’t him. Maybe in time the memories would fade, becoming just a fuzzy remnant like childhood, or a movie seen long ago. Dimitri could only hope that was the case.

Still, not all the memories were bad, and the mental comparison between Plum’s magic bag and the TARDIS made him laugh in both amusement and bitterness. “I can imagine,” he said in reply, and he could, only he didn’t really need to because he was pretty certain that even her wardrobe would pale in comparison to the TARDIS. Pretty much everything Dimitri had seen in his real life, his own life, did. “I don’t suppose you have a couple of forks in there too?” he asked, finally taking the pie from her hands. He could probably just go get some from the counter, but it never hurt to check.

[Deleted]

Plum too had many years of memories tucked inside her head that weren’t hers, though not anywhere near as many as two thousand years old. Hellgut was a monstrous being to be sure, but she had gained her power very quickly over a short span of time. But in time the memories would fade. And if they didn’t, well magic would always come in handy.

If Plum had had any knowledge of the Tardis she too might have laughed, but she had no knowledge of it and instead only smiled, though she didn’t understand the joke. Though she supposed that hardly mattered anyway. If had been meant for her she would have been included in the joke.

“Of course,” Plum answered the question. And unlike the pie she knew exactly where they were. “I can’t carry around a pie without having a couple of forks on hand.” She pulled out the forks, passing one to Dimitri. This was better than just moments ago. Plum still felt awful about killing him of course, but her stomach had settled and the need to vomit had passed. This was actually turning out to be a pleasant conversation.

[Dimitri]

Raising his eyebrows, Dimitri chuckled when Plum easily produced two forks. So much better than just going up to the counter to get some.

Setting the pie on the table beside his chair, he pulled it around until it was situated right in front of Plum. Ignoring the nasty look the man behind the counter threw his way for rearranging the furniture, the Russian boy pulled his own chair up until he was situated directly across from the fairy, the table between them.

“Well, now that we’ve got that all cleared up...” he started, even though it was really far from forgotten. Not much to be done about that, though. Forgiven, not forgotten, wasn’t that how the saying went? Maybe he would never feel perfectly comfortable around Plum, but he had to acknowledge that she hadn’t meant to hurt him. It wasn’t intentional, it wasn’t even an accident. She hadn’t been herself at the time... literally.

Opening the box, he dug his fork unceremoniously into the centre of the pie, scooped out a large bite and popped it into his mouth before continuing. “I didn’t actually come over here to talk to you about... that.”

[Deleted]

Plum watched in amusement as Dimitri began to rearrange the furniture. It was odd in a way because she hadn’t meant for him to eat the pie now and he was certainly not obliged to share. Especially not with her of all people. And yet here they were, having a pleasant if not strange conversation and preparing to share pie.

She listened as Dimitri began to speak again, sounding much more serious. Clearly this was important. Why else would one pay a social visit to the person who had killed them in cold blood? Plum really had to give Dimitri credit. This certainly took the phrase ‘facing your demons’ to a whole other level and one that Plum herself would not have been able to conquer. She would have been too afraid really. She could put on a brave face of course, but facing someone who had killed her while they were both under a spell was a line she was sure she could never cross. The fact that he was even here and willing to speak to her spoke volumes about his character.

Plum took her cue from Dimitri and when he dipped into the pie, she too decided to take a forkful, though much more gracefully and from the side of the pie so she could get a bit of the crust. Looking back up at Dimitri she motioned for him to continue. “Please, speak freely.” And then she lifted her fork and took a dainty bite of the pie, curious to hear what he had really come to speak about.

[Dimitri]

Plum’s dainty and polite approach to the pie was in direct contrast to Dimitri’s, especially since she actually waited to take a bite until after she spoke instead of talking around the food, but he didn’t even notice. He was already distracted enough by the horrible memories of Halloween, and the conversation he was about to launch into. The fact that he was probably being rude by talking and chewing at the same time didn’t even cross his mind. Even so, he did take a moment to swallow before speaking again, more over the importance of the words than any sense of decency.

“Door said you might be able to help me,” he laid it on the line. No point pussyfooting around. “She said you have magic, which clearly you do.” Dropping his eyes to the evidence of this, he cut off another forkful but just held it there for now.

“I know she’s gone home, and that you don’t really know me that well, but if there’s anything you can do...” He raised his brown eyes to hers again, searching, and as much as he tried to hide it there was a spark of pleading in his gaze. He was really running out of options here and he was getting desperate.

[Deleted]

Plum was not actually bothered by Dimitri’s lack of manners, which in and of itself spoke volumes. She was always polite to other people regardless of their manners or how polite they were. She could hardly expect people to have such refined manners as she did. In fact, she hardly expected it here. And it didn’t bother her. There were more important things in life than perfect manners. It was always a plus but not always a necessity, so Plum really paid little mind to the matter.

But what Dimitri said next surprised Plum. He knew Door. And Door had told him she could help him, which she probably could, but the most surprising thing was that he knew Door. She had been gone for some time now. When on earth had this happened? Clearly they had had a conversation before she left, but Door hadn’t said anything to her about it. And she was quite sure that Door would have let her know. They had been very good friends after all. Door had been the closest friend that she had had while she was here. “You spoke to Door and she told you to come to me?” she asked. “When? She’s been gone for…” She trailed off thinking. It must have been right before she left because she hadn’t even said goodbye.

Plum snapped back to reality. This was not the matter at hand. Whatever had happened with Door was out of her hands. She needed to see to the problem at hand. “I beg your pardon. Of course I’ll help. I’ll do what I can anyways. It will depend on what type of magic you require. I’m not strong in all areas of magic, but I will certainly try. How can I be of help?”

[Dimitri]

Watching her closely, Dimitri was somewhat relieved when he saw surprise register in her expression. This conversation was already painful and awkward, so anything that lessened that even a little was a blessing; the fact that Door hadn’t told Plum about their drunken night together was definitely that. Not that there was much to tell, since neither of them remembered any of it, but that wasn’t the point. Not having to talk about it equaled less awkward equaled all that mattered right now.

“I don’t know... a few months ago?” he replied, finally taking another bite of the pie. Maybe he should have taken Door’s advice right away, but everything had been so complicated and uncomfortable and he’d thought he could take care of it himself. He’d even had Gwen helping him from the inside, though nothing seemed to have come of that yet, though he was optimistically chocking that up to them all being on vacation. Once she got back to work he’d hear something... but just in case, it didn’t hurt to have a plan B in motion, right?

Swallowing the mouthful as Plum spoke of her magical shortcomings, Dimitri set the fork in the box and leaned back slightly, folding his hands together in a steepled fashion. “How much do you know about the portal, and the kind of magic it takes to transport us home?”