Trenale Guardian Issue 2

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Dear Reader

Well a lot has happened since our last issue, and we intend to report on it all, keeping our promise to you that we will keep you updated with the true facts.

Our continuation as a newspaper relies on you, our wonderful readers, and we thank you for your custom and service. Especially to all of you who wrote in with your letters, ideas, and pictures. Please, continue to become involved in our newspaper as it is your contribution that makes us the best Newspaper in all of Trenale.

D. Walt
Editor

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War has broken out in the nearby city of Truro a peaceful place 50 miles east of Trenale. The cause of this war is unknown and information is limited due to the ongoing siege. The Trenale Guardian however has had special reports from first hand eye witnesses who have seen the many atrocities that have taken place over the past few weeks. One eye witness reported that the as yet unnamed forces had arrived in the early hours of the morning and immediately attacked the castle with a various assortment of weapons.

“It was like nothing I’d ever seen before,” said the eye witness who wished to remain anonymous, “the weapons, they were so advanced. I didn’t know if it was magic or mechanics it were that odd.”

Whilst reports vary on the size of this army one thing is consistent, it is a large number including several legions. The army is organised and well disciplined, and above all else, ruthless. This army immediately laid siege to the city walls of Truro carrying out unrelenting attacks every day since their arrival. One citizen of Truro who was able to escape told the Trenale Guardian, “we are running out of food, out of water and out of weapons. Everyday we have casualties and more of our people die, and yet they are like some monstrous force that cant be killed. When one goes down another takes its place. It’s terrible.”

Trenale Guardian approached the Trenale Council to ask if they were concerned about the war that was breaking out so close to our own town. The council in a statement said, “The War in Truro is simply rumour and speculation. We have heard of no such thing happening and thus are not concerned about any such invasion.”

However the Grayle Corporation have different ideas as in an email from the Anonymous CEO they said, “We are concerned about the safety of Trenale with war breaking out so close to our own borders. In a bid to pre-empt this strike the Grayle Corporation will be consulting with the Trenale Council to begin preparations for defensive measures that we may need to take, including the building of a wall around our beautiful city and the distribution of weapons.”

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The Smithson Dwarves of the Gold mine in the south of Trenale have recently struck lucky when one of the shafts they had recently written off started literally filling up with gold. When one unsuspecting Dwarf, Gallus Smithson, 35, accidentally lodged his axe in the wall he found that a golden substance began to fall out of the hole. As he and his colleagues dug further they found that more and more began to pore out, a veritable river of gold. Using their skills they managed to divert the gold so that it meant that none of them were crushed by the heavy metal.

Mine foreman, Cheery Smithson, says that it is one of the greatest finds the dwarves have ever encountered. They are currently investigating the worth of the gold along with the help of experts from the Precious metals and gems department of Arabian Caves Ltd, a sister company of our very own Grayle Corporation. One of the experts say that the worth of the gold looks like it might be enough to buy a small country. “The Gold that we are investigating is more than just the real deal, there is a certain amount of magical readings that we are getting from it, and as we know, enchanted gold is worth so much more than the normal kind,” said Dr Smith.

In celebration of the find the dwarves will be holding a gala in the town hall to which everyone is invited.

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The council was once again thrown off by the sudden arrival of unrelenting thorn bushes growing around the main council offices. The 20ft rose bushes appeared to grow over night surrounding the building and trapping some of the workers inside. Attempts have been made to remove the bush but wherever anyone strikes the branches of the thorn bush another grows in its place twice as strong. Councillor Wartman said, “This is a great annoyance and truly some awful prank being played by some of teenagers from the Academy or University. I assure you, that the people responsible for creating this will be punished for their actions.”

Scientists from the Grayle Corporation have been working day and night to find a solution for the problem although it is yet to produce results. Dr Baker from the department of magical horticulture told TG, “the magic being used in these plants is a kind we have never seen before, although once we find out what kind it will not be long before the rose bushes disappear.”

Although not all of the citizens of Trenale find the bushes to be such an eye sore. “It’s such a lovely decoration to such a drab and dull building,” said one shopper in the area, “it’s nice to see a bit of colour about the place.”

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The Selkies that had been found off the coast and taken into care by the Grayle Corporation will soon be reintroduced to their natural habitat according to the Anonymous CEO of the company. In an e-mail that he sent to the Trenale Guardian he stated, “The Selkies who have all been restored to their good health will soon find themselves back in their own waters, in their own home. It was a tragedy that such beautiful creatures would be ripped thus from the sea, purely for the profit of others and we shall not rest till we stop this part of the black market.”


Selkie Artists impression

Selkie skin is one of the rarest products to be found and is illegal to be in possession off in the town of Trenale. They were almost hunted to extinction by Pirates and Criminals who knew the value of the soft skin that allowed a person to breathe under water, and survive all temperatures. In recent years the market for this product has grown and with the docks being so near by, many of the unsavoury members of Trenale have been using this to their advantage.

The three Selkies, now in the care of Grayle Corp, were found in small containers with no water and their seal skins covered in oil to stop them from changing form and escaping. The local authority was tipped off when one of the members of the pirates lost their nerve and confessed, feeling sorry for one of the young creatures.

The Selkies however have survived their ordeal and will soon find themselves in a better and hopefully, safer place.

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Monsoon season never came however an electrical magical storm is heading this way from the west, otherwise expect copious amounts of sunshine as our resident Sunshine God is more than happy.

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Those interested must provide Trenale Guardian, by e-mail (or by Clicking the PM button at the side) with a report or photograph of an event happening in and around Trenale. It can be of anything, so long as it is interesting we may print it and you may be the next employ at Trenale Guardian.

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Dragons is what’s wrong with place, there are too many of these horrid creatures running around, someone needs to take them out. What we need is a prince or some hero to get rid of them all, and curse these Dragon Protection League people, they don’t know what it’s like to lose family to one of these creatures.
Angry Hunter, Trenale

Cannot believe Gingerbread split! They were my idols man, this is a sad, sad day for us all.
Has the Blues, Trenale

OMG! Robin and Marian’s wedding sounded like the most amazing wedding EVER! When I organise my own wedding I want a dress like hers, a chapel like hers, a reception like hers, OMG I just want to BE her!! Everything sounded perfect! Wish I could get a Princess to organise mine!
Bride to be, Trenale

Would the girl with the horns on the tram service to the docks please stop poking me in the eye! I realise you have a problem but you don’t need to share it with me, mainly MY EYE.
Eye Patch, Trenale Docks

Attacking Dragons is only going to make the situation worse. Instead of immediately jumping on the offensive we should be discussing with them why their attacking. There must be a way to resolve this amicably.
Wizard, Trenale

What’s Pink and Fluffy? PINK FLUFF
Joker, Trenale

Happy to hear Gingerbread Split. Four solo albums, I think so.
Louis, Trenale

If you have a letter you would like to see posted in the Trenale Guardian please PM the Trenale Guardian.

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I recently purchased a new cauldron, during the first use of a particularly acidic potion the bottom fell out and the resulting spell gave me horns. The shop refuses to reimburse me or pay for damages citing that it the fault of the spell and not the cauldron. Should I attempt to take this further and how do I get rid of these horns.
Witch, Trenale

First of all, are you sure you want rid of this new found gift? Think of all the uses a pair of horns could have! It‘s like two extra hands, you could hang stuff on them, no one would ever get in your way again. Being a witch, striking fear into the hearts of others is a big part of your job, think how much easier this will be with horns. Embrace the horn. Otherwise the Grayle Corperation in line with Mercy General provide a service to reverse magical mistakes. If you see them at the hospital they will not only remove the horns, but will fight your case to be reimbursed.

A witch turned me in to a newt, I got better, but should I still press charges.
Monty, Trenale

I think pressing charges will only cause you to relive the pain you have already suffered. If you have indeed returned to your usual self then dragging up what has happened before may be more trouble than its worth and may cause the witch to cast her spell again. Let bygones be bygones.

I was just about to leave my wife when she was attacked by a dragon and hospitalized. The doctors say her recovery may take months. Should I continue to pretend until she is well again or leave her now and not live a lie.
Confused, Trenale

You are a terrible person! How dare you even think of leaving your wife when she needs you most! Especially after something as awful and terrifying as a Dragon attack. Young man you will stay with her even after she is better and give her the love and attention she deserves…unless of course she has turned evil in which case cut and run now.

If you have a problem you would like our brilliant Doctors to fix, please PM Trenale Guardian