The Way I Loved You (Gaston)

[Guinevere]

If Merlin and Arthur were here the chances were they would have headed to the school, or maybe they arrived in the school. She had a strong suspicion that Merlin probably would have headed straight for the library to ensure all the books were safe. Either way it was a good bed that they were there and so she had taken Tristian’s hand and headed in that direction. When she arrived a the school she saw that it was in much the same disrepair and overgrowth as the rest of Trenale.

Thankfully, before leaving the mall she had made her way into the old ‘Build a Sword’ shop and liberated a couple of weapons. They were blunted and if it came to an actual fight they probably would not be of any use, but they were useful for cutting her way through the growth. She had taken a sword for herself, complete with sword belt, a bow and a quiver of arrows, a small shield and a couple of knives. Before leaving however she had located the smallest chest plate she could find, the smallest lightest helmet and a short very blunted knife and kitted out Tristian as well. She had then jumped next door to Madam Marshoms, grabbed a pair of brown leggings and sensible flat brown boots, pulled them on and then ripped the skirts of her red dress so that she had some better movement if it came to fighting. The back half of the skirt still flowed out behind her, but at least if she had to run the front of them wouldn’t get in the way anymore.

She had informed Tristian that if mummy said to get behind her he was to do exactly as she said. He had nodded and the two of them had left for Tintagel Academy.

They stood outside the Threave Building, or at least what was the Threave Building. Taking the sword out of the sheath she told Tristian to stand back as she started cutting the vines that were in the way, blocking the door. She was so absorbed in her work that she did not hear that someone was approaching…

[Gaston]

He'd been working on his plan for a while now, and had done a quick recon of the whole building, which had been pretty fruitless. The important rooms had their entrances caved in, and it would take a while to get in - but he was working on it. His new plan was to just take command of the entire building. It was like that Lord of the Flies book he'd watched the film of back when he was a student - survival of the fittest and strongest. And this building not only held the command posts of the entire school, but it held medical supplies and the portal room - if Gaston had control of those, then he had the power.

And he really, really wanted the power.

So, the recon had been pretty uneventful, and he'd learnt very little, so he decided to head to the front door and set up a guard to allow him to keep control of the building. He had had to climb out of a window to get back outside as the entrance was so overgrown, and he may have fallen on his face - but there was no one around, so that was fine.

As he approached the entrance, he heard the swish of a sword and hacking of vines. His face darkened - no way was anyone taking this from him. He crept the corner of the building and stood with his back against the wall, cocking his gun as quietly as he could. He took a deep breath, placed his finger over the trigger, and threw himself around the corner, aiming his gun at a the back of a long haired woman.

"Get away from that door if you value your life!"

[Guinevere]

At the sound of the man’s voice she spun around, holding the sword, ready to defend herself from whatever brute had decided to threaten her. However when she turned around and saw who was there the anger that had been boiling inside her instantly faded away again.

It was him. After all these years. He was here.

She lowered the sword, dropping it to her side and letting it fall to the ground.

He had aged well, exceptionally well. She liked the coat, it suited him, red was definitely his colour, then again, it always had been. He was here, and yes he may currently be threatening her with his gun, but right now she did not care. It was him.

She smiled and said, “Hello stranger.”

[Gaston]

It... it couldn't be.

He'd been dreaming of her face every night for the last ten years. He'd seen her in the village, always turning corners, moving away from him, disappearing before he could catch up with her. He'd woken up calling her name, shouting her name, more times than he could remember. Nothing had quashed his yearning for her, in all that time - not war, not seduction, nothing. LeFou had started to worry that he was losing his mind, and at times Gaston had begun to wonder if he was right.

And now here she was, standing in front of him, sword in hand and looking as if not a day had passed.

He stood in shock, his gun still raised as he tried to fathom the situation. He watched her lower the sword, and saw her lips move as she spoke, but the blood was pounding in his ears and it took a moment for the words to process and reach his brain.

He slowly lowered his gun, hoisting it over his shoulder and sweeping his hand over his hair to smooth it, his trademark move, as a smile began to spread across his face.

"Well, well well. Hello beautiful."

[Guinevere]

As he smoothed back his hair she could not help but smile.

Same old Gaston, putting on the moves, didn’t he know by now he didn’t need to with her? However…she appreciated the effort. She was not as young as she used to be, it used to worry her when she thought about him, she would look at herself in the mirror and wonder if he would still see the same girl. When she looked she did not. She saw someone a lot harder, a lot more cynical and worryingly a couple of lines. And her eyes, they looked so tired most of the time when she stared at her reflection, is that what everyone else saw?

With that one gesture though her fears disappeared a little. She walked towards him, smiling happily. “How have you been? You’re looking well,” she said calmly.

She wanted to rush towards him and hug him, she wanted to tell him everything that had happened, she wanted to just have one moment where she could just enjoy being in his arms before it inevitably went south…just like it always did. But…10 years had passed…there was a very good chance there was a Mrs Legume now…or at least someone he cared about…more than her. She wouldn’t have blamed him, after all, it wasn’t as if she was single any more although she hardly counted a marriage of convenience. And she had someone incredibly important in her life now, someone she would die for, speaking of which…

There was the clanking of metal as Tristian jumped down from the wall he had been sitting on to walk towards where his mother was talking with the new man with the strange metal stick. “Hello,” he said to the man, his helmet mostly obscuring his face.

[Gaston]

He couldn't believe how beautiful she was - he had imagined her face every day for so long, her beauty imprinted on his memory, but to see her in front of him once again he felt that his memory had not done her justice. He wanted to sweep her up in his arms, envelope her small frame in his strong, bulging muscles, take her face in his hand and kiss her like he had never kissed her before. But would she still want him? Did she still love him, they way he had loved her in her absence every day for ten, long years?

As she moved towards him he smiled, taking a step closer and reaching out to stroke her cheek, to touch her and make sure she was really there, that this wasn't some cruel trick.

But then there was a noise, there was someone else there. He paused before his hand reached her and looked towards the source of the sound. He stared as a child appeared, walking towards them and standing by Gwen. It took him a moment to gather his wits, and he looked from the child to Gwen and back again, retreating again by a step as he began to put two and two together.

"A child..." He said quietly, looking to Gwen with pain in his eyes. "Is he yours? Do you... are you..." He couldn't get the words out. He took a breath, straightening up and putting back his old facade, the charming scoundrel who didn't care a jot. "So you got knocked up?"

[Guinevere]

He was reaching out to her, and she wanted him too, there was nothing she wanted more in that moment than to feel his touch. She could almost imagine it not, the rough hand gently caressing her, she would reach up with her own hand and hold it, moving in closer to him, just like she had spent her nights imagining in her cold lonely bed in Camelot…

…then he stopped…

She looked down and Tristian was there.

Gaston stared to move back from her and she did not try to hide the disappointment in her expression. However, it was not wholly unexpected and she certainly did not blame him. However, she could not help but wish that the happiness could have lasted a little longer, then again, that’s how it always was with the two of them. He was falling back to his usual ways, she could see it, and it hurt, but over their time she had learned to love both the mask and the man under it.

She looked down at Tristian and smiled pushing the helmet back so she could see his face.

It was strange, in the past his words would have stung her, would have caused her to rise in anger, but right now she was just happy that he was here, happy that he was speaking to her. Even if the worlds were meant to be cruel, she did not care, he was here and he was alive.

She looked back at Gaston and nodded, still smiling, “I did. Before we got pulled back to our respective worlds actually. During the war they shipped me off to an island so that I wouldn’t get hurt,” she looked down at Tristian, “mummy missed all the action because of you didn’t she?”

“Yes,” said Tristian with a shrug, but he continued to look up at Gaston with wide eyes.

“This is Gaston,” said Gwen motioning to him, “he is…was… one of mummy’s boyfriends. Gaston, this is my son, Tristian.”

Tristian looked at Gwen, then looked back at Gaston and held his hand out to him, “pleased to meet you Sir Gaston.”

[Gaston]

Before they left... she had gotten pregnant here... Gaston felt like he had been punched in the gut. If had been back in Camelot, after they'd all be parted for so long, he didn't think it would have hurt so much. He hadn't expected her to wait for him, it wasn't like they knew if they'd ever see each other again.

But this hurt.

He took a deep breath - he was determined not to let his hurt show on his face. And just because she had a child, it didn't mean she was with the father, did it? She might still want him, like he wanted her. He willed himself not to be his usual boreish self too soon, and he looked down at the child as he held his hand out to him.

There was something so familar about him, something so recognisable...

He took the boy's hand and shook it firmly. "Tristian. It's a pleasure to meet you, young sir." He said graciously.

He looked back up at Gwen. "So, you're a mother." He gave her a small smile. "It actually suits you." He said reluctantly. He tried not to ask, but he had to know, and it was already eating him up inside. "So, erm... who's his father? I suppose you're happily married after all this time?"

He didn't want to know, there was a fear inside him at what the answer would be... but he couldn't live not knowing.

[Guinevere]

She could not help but smile fondly as two of her favourite people interacted so well with each other. She had no idea how Gaston was going to react to the small child, he could have just ignored him after all, but he didn’t. Tristian seemed to be impressed as well, offering up Gaston one of his big smiles as he shook his hand. Once the interaction as over Tristian started to walk around Gaston, as if trying to get a better look at him, Gwen stifled the laughter that rose as she watched him do this.

When Gaston mentioned that being a mother suit her she started to blush a little, as well as looking pleased. It was a role that she thought she would never take on, and yet the minute she had been thrust into it she had taken too it like a duck to water. Oh there had been the initial fear, the constant worry of ‘am I doing this right?’ and those things never truly went away, but she loved every moment of it. Here was something that was truly hers, and she loved him more than anything. “Thank you,” she said softly, beaming up at Gaston.

Then the difficult question. She was hoping to put that one off a little longer, but it was inevitable the moment Tristian made himself known. How to convey this without making him angry? Then again, maybe he wouldn’t be, maybe he was only politely enquiring, after all it had been 10 years, he could have moved on, he probably had moved on. Despite the doubt that was creeping in she still held hope that maybe…maybe he hadn’t quite move on completely…like her…

“Married? Yes. Happily? Only occasionally,” she said with a shrug and the continued, “I am conveniently married, I needed it for my Queendom and he needed it for his Kingdom, thus…marriage; best way to make alliances. Publically you have never seen a happier couple, privately, we each do as we please.”

Tristian had finished his circuit of Gaston and with a nod of approval said, “I like your coat.”

Gwen smiled at him, and then turning her attention back to Gaston said, “As for his father…my husband is his father…he is…the result of a night that neither of us remember and neither of us care too. We were…both in bad places at the time.”

She cleared her throat and tried to move the subject along, daring to ask the same question that might just drive a wedge in her heart, “What about you? Did you finally settle down with the little wife you always wanted?”

’Please say no, please say no’, she thought.

[Gaston]

The kid was cute, even Gaston had to admit that. He'd always dreamed of having six or seven strapping boys like him and hadn't got anywhere close yet, and he couldn't deny that this little Tristian was cute. He allowed himself for a moment to imagine what it would have been like to have had a son with Gwen, to have had his own little boy running around in a helmet, introducing himself and taking them in in they way Tristian was now.

He turned his attention back to Gwen as the little boy circled him and she explained her marriage and relationship. A marriage of convenience... what did that mean? And who...? He noticed the words kingdom and alliances, and his brain began to go into overdrive. He knew she was from the same world as Arthur... now King Arthur... surely not? It would be the ultimate knife wound in the back.

He was distracted momentarily as Tristian said he liked Gaston's coat. He puffed up slightly, brushing some dust from his sleeve and straightening the jacket, his trademark arrogant smile on his face. "Well of course you do, young man, everyone does. It's military - and everyone admires a man in the military."

At Gwen's question he looked up at her, a spasm of pain and loneliness momentarily crossing his face. "No, eh-hem, I never found anyone suitable. I've had plenty of women in the last ten years, of course, no worries there, but none of them were perfect wife material."

None of them were you...

[Guinevere]

“Mil-it-ary,” repeated Tristian, trying the word out for size, he thought about it for a moment and then nodded, “yes.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” said Gwen, looking at Gaston with that same playful look she had when they were younger.

Had he figured it out, did he realise? The more Tristian grew the more obvious it became who his father was, they were so much alike in so many ways, including, it appeared, liking men like Gaston. Well…he could have got that from either her or Arthur really. It was not going to be easy, and it would probably end in disaster when Gaston did realise. No doubt he would swear vengeance on his old friend (and yes, she believed they were friends regardless of Arthur constantly correcting her by saying ‘frienemy’) and challenging him to some ridiculous fight.

…if he even cared…he might not…

She smiled, a little sadly, but she was happy that he had not been alone all this time.

“That’s a pity,” she said, not sounding sorry at all, and maybe just the slightest bit happy, “at least you had a little fun anyway…and…I’m sure whoever she is will be out there somewhere.”

I’m here. I’m right here…

[Gaston]

That look... it made him want to sweep her into his arms and kiss her, here and now, as if nothing and no one else existed in the world. Instead he swept his hand across his hair again, before digging his hands into his pockets to try and deter himself from reaching out and touching her, pulling her to him and holding her in a tight embrace as he had longed to do for so many empty, lonely years.

He simply looked at her, unable to hide the sadness in his eyes, as she spoke of someone being out there for him. Did she truly not know, did she truly not see that there was, had never been since the day he first laid eyes on her, no one else in the world for him?

His thoughts flitted back to her comment on her marriage. Happy? Only occassionally. The words circled around and around in his head as he gazed at her; what did that mean? Did she love her husband? Was she as lonely as he was?

"Fun, mmm..." He said distractedly, unable to take his eyes off her. Unable to hold back any longer, he took a large stride forwards until he was standing right in front of her, close enough to be able to breath in her scent. He looked down at her and sighed, wanting to hold her, to kiss her.

"Do you love him?"

[Guinevere]

As he ran his hand through his hair again, it was just such a ‘him’ gesture, she could not help but think that years ago she would have been frustrated by it. She would have rolled her eyes as at his vanity, perhaps even called him out on it, but right now it was so wonderfully familiar and…him that she couldn’t help but enjoy it.

Then there was that sad look in his eye...it was only brief, fleeting even, as he looked at her, as she said that there is perhaps someone out there for him…could it be…had he hoped that maybe…maybe it was her…Then he stepped closer to her and her breathe caught in her chest. She had to crane her neck a little to look up at him, to meet him eyes as he asked his question.

How to answer that minefield without sending him off in rage…because surely…surely he this meant that he did still care, she looked up at him and wanted to do nothing more than kiss him. She had spent the last 10 years devoting her entire life to her son, 10 years serving both the Summer Country and Camelot as their queen, 10 years being the perfect and proper wife for Arthur…perhaps it was time to take a little something for herself.

She stepped in a little closer to him, placing her hands on his chest before grasping the lapels of his jacket. She looked up at him and said, “No, not in the same way I have loved you.”

[Gaston]

His breath quickened slightly as she took hold of his jacket, but he forced himself to return it to normal, to breath easily and not show her how she affected him, not until he knew the truth, not until he knew whether she was going to break his heart again. He wanted to stroke her hair, to stroke her cheek, to wrap his arms around her, but he forced his hands to remain by his sides, clenching his fists with the effort.

No... he didn’t need to hear any more. She didn’t love him. She had been married all these years, had a child with him, but she still loved Gaston. That was all he needed to know.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest, leaning down and kissing her with all the passion, love, and loneliness of the last ten years. He never wanted this moment to end, he never wanted to break away from this kiss, he never wanted to let her go again. He wanted to lose himself in this moment and never resurface.

But he did resurface. He pulled away and looked at her, stroking her cheek softly.

His next words were a whisper. “Is it Arthur?”

[Guinevere]

It was a kiss she had waited for, for a very long time, and she enjoyed very second of it. She lifted her hands up, stroking his chest, to clasp them behind his neck as she kissed him, then running them up into his hair gently. A fire ran through her, she hadn’t realised how cold she had been until she was here, back in his arms, kissing him. There had been moments of passion here and there over the past ten years…but nothing like this, nothing was ever like this.

She never wanted him to stop.

But he did, pulling away from her. She wanted to pull him back in again for another kiss, but he was gently stroking her cheek and asking her the one question she did not want to answer. She could see it now, anger, rage, all the things that tore them apart before, perhaps he would blame her, he would definitely blame Arthur, but she didn’t want this moment to end, she didn’t want this feeling to go so soon.

As she was desperately thinking of a way not to answer, unfortunately, someone else did.

“Daddy!” said Tristian, recognising the name of his father.

Gwen looked up at Gaston sheepishly and said, “Yes…yes…it’s Arthur.”