Text to: Mordred Le Fey

[Costin Dracula]

Am at dinner and a very strange girl has invited herself to my table. Please advise.

[Mordred Le Fey]

Is she hot?

[Costin Dracula]

Slightly unkempt but overall appearance is not entirely regrettable.

[Mordred Le Fey]

Charming smile, buy her a drink, introduce yourself.

Then get her drunk and take her home.

[Costin Dracula]

??

??

why?

I don't want her to know where I live.

What if she shows up there uninvited too?

[Mordred Le Fey]

Dude, you need to get laid, this one sounds keen.

What's wrong with her? If you don't want her to know where you live, my place is free. Just tell Aiden to clear out for a couple of hours.

[Costin Dracula]

I do not need anything of the sort.

I was laid three times this week already.

Do you want her? You can come and get her.

[Mordred Le Fey]

Wait - what? Three times?! Details, my friend - stop holding out on me!

What's her name? I'm tempted...

[Costin Dracula]

It was very intense. You know. Penetration.

Her name is Lorelei

Calling her Catherine to keep her on her toes

[Mordred Le Fey]

Bloody hell. Penetration - really? Why don't you talk like an actual person?

Lorelei? Medium height, mousey brown hair, dresses like a thrift store on speed?

[Costin Dracula]

Raised by vampires

You know her then?

Do you really think I should seduce her?

[Mordred Le Fey]

There's only so many times you can use that excuse before it loses meaning.

Oh, I know her. Definitely know her.

You should absolutely seduce her. You'd be mad not to.

[Costin Dracula]

It explains a number of things though.

I’m...going to try it.

Should I text your roommate? What is his number?

[Mordred Le Fey]

Hence my tutelage - we'll make a person of you yet.

Go for it, you'll have an experience like no other.

Her number - my life is truly blessed Costin. I'll send her contact card - her name's Aiden.

[Costin Dracula]

How in all the galaxies did you manage to get a female roommate?

I can't even have a girl over without her climbing up the wall onto my balcony.

I've just realised I have met your roommate and she is possibly the most irritating person at this school.

Including that strange cowgirl.