Text message: To Tristian

[Mordred Le Fey]

Dude, where have you been.  My life is cold and empty without you.  I need some bro time.

Sort it out.  Mord.

[Tristian]

I am being very busy and important. However, I suppose I can spare five minutes.

Drinks?

[Mordred Le Fey]

HA!

Sorry, just choked there. And you can spare more than 5 minutes for your idol.

Meet me tonight, 8.

[Tristian]

Idol? Really? You're still pushing that one?

I will be there about 8ish, will be a good excuse to get out of this nightmare date I got set up on.

[Mordred Le Fey]

A date? Is she hot? I'm happy to take the nightmare off your hands if she's hot...

Dude, I get it, you're face to face with greatness and it's strange, you don't even know how you feel - it's adorable!

[Tristian]

She is tolerable I suppose, but not really pretty enough to tempt me. I'll give her your number when we are done.

Well it's nice to see that you never change.

[Mordred Le Fey]

'Not pretty enough to tempt me'?! Beggars can't be choosers, my dear deluded friend.

You wouldn't want me any other way

[Tristian]

Beggars? Please, do you know how much this shirt cost? And besides I've seen some of the girls you've been out with, beggars cannot be choosers, but there is such a thing as taste. I was worried that last one was going to catch hypothermia with what she was wearing.

Oh of course, my hero.

[Mordred Le Fey]

Ohhh, I'd almost forgotten about her... cousin, you have no idea. Caviar is great, but sometimes you just need a greasy burger, you know?

Finally, admittance is the first step towards healing.

[Tristian]

Yes but who knows what kind of grill that greasy burger has been before you put it in your mouth. I will stick to a higher class of lady.

Thank you wisdom guru, what would I do without you.

[Mordred Le Fey]

You are so lame. There's literally no other way to frame this.

You'd shrivel and die, that's what. I'm clearly a god to you, as I should be.

[Tristian]

I am so glad that you are working on expanding your vocabulary. Lame is a real step up from poo poo head.

I've met gods. They're not so great. So, yeah, fitting.

Where am I meeting you? I may bail earlier.

[Mordred Le Fey]

All that schooling done learnt me stuff, Tris.

Why on earth would you bail on me? That's breaking the bro code, and is completely unacceptable.

8 tonight at the bar in town. First round's on me. Then the rest on your because your the heir and I'm not even the spare

[Tristian]

I'm not bailing on you, I mean my date. She just sent me the follow message;

'So excited for tonight Tristikins! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo'

Fine. I'll even pay your cab home when you strike out, but I am not holding your hair back when you inevitably bring that burger back up. I have never, and never will, forgive you for runining those shoes.

[Mordred Le Fey]

Oh good Gods, Tris, you do know how to pick them. Also, I'm calling you Tristikins from now until FOREVER.

You have to move on from the shoes. They are dead. They're never coming back.