You Gotta Do [Alanna]

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It wasn't that Brianna didn't know what she was going to do. Because she did know. Her problem was that she didn't know how long it would take what she wanted to do. Arthur had given her and Lancelot instructions to keep off the army with Beowulf for as long as they could. That, of course, was a problem, because she didn't do well with that kid who had nearly killed her that one time. She wasn't his biggest fan.

But she knew she had to get over that and do what Arthur told her to do. She promised him and had sworn to him that she would obey his every command and order without a question. That was what a knight did, right?

With a sigh, Brianna made her way to the Easton Center. She should probably be practicing and training nonstop until the war started, as to ensure the fact that she would be practically infallible during the battle. She was pretty good with a bow and arrow, not as good as Della Miller, perhaps, but decent enough to kill from a distance almost every single time. She was better up close and personal, with a sword, no matter how heavy the chainmail on her was. But one thing Brianna really needed to work on was her combat and self-defense without a sword. She needed to get her strength up. So, punching at a bag seemed to be the most logical thing to do.

Her wrists were bound, and her knuckles were prepared for some serious punching. A few punches later, Brianna noticed that she wasn't alone there anymore. A boy had wandered in, perhaps a few years to Brianna's junior. She thought about leaving him to his own devices, since, after all, this was a public area, and he was allowed to do whatever he wanted.

"Come to train for yourself or for the war?" Oh, well. Maybe her mouth was like two billion steps ahead of her mind.

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Alanna knew she was no good at wrestling. She was a great archer, decent with a sword, the best squire of Corus on horseback, and absolutely terrible at wrestling. Of course, that didn't mean she would never need it, so the first place she looked when it came to continuing with her physical training was the area with hand-to-hand combat. She was sorely disappointed. One person was here, and while the suspiciously feminine being didn't appear to be weak by any means, Alanna was uncertain about both the equipment and the place. What good was punching some kind of sack? It's not like it could fight back, let alone think. No wonder the attacking forces thought this place was easy pickings. It was. She made a mental note to check that clubs roster again. Hopefully with actual meetings people would actually do something. They should have required classes, just like in Corus. After all, it couldn't hurt the ladies and sorcerers to learn a little bit about fighting... Well, she supposed they could be excused, but who would want to be when there was a war happening? Why would anyone want to sit around, just one more thing to protect? She didn't really realize she was scowling at the punching bag. She certainly never wanted to become a burden to anyone. She could carry her own weight, and extra if need be.

Lost in her own thoughts, she almost missed Brianna's words. "I came to train for my kingdom, sir," 'Alan' answered honestly. "But of course I will also help with the war. I live in this city for now, and so it is my duty to protect it." He held his head high. "What is the point of the bags from the roof?" He couldn't help but ask. It seemed much more productive to be fighting with someone, like you would be if someone actually attacked you and you actually had to fight for your life. Why train with something that would never happen? Unless this was just the beginners area, it didn't seem very useful at all. If it was the starting point, where were the more advanced levels placed?

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Brianna raised her eyebrows at the way she was addressed. This kid was either trained to be respectful, or he had always been this way. She could only guess that this boy had been taught to respect others older than he. And it could possibly be in the same training Brianna had done, because she was just this good at spotting people who have the same aim in life as she did, herself.

Stopping her punching, Brianna narrowed her eyes at the boy. He was awfully pretty, with his violet eyes and his flaming hair; he actually reminded Brianna of the little page boy she had befriended back home, Velspar. "Please, just call me Brianna," the young knight said quickly, shaking her head. Every once in a while, Brianna wondered how it would be if she was still in disguise as a boy. Would she be Sir Brian? She kind of liked the way Lady Brianna a little more...Maybe because she was getting tired of living as a boy.

But the lad's next words really caught Brianna off-guard. What was he, hardly fourteen, maybe even fifteen? One simply was not this determined to be valiant and bold, determined to prove himself, unless he was..."I beg your pardon, but you do not happen to be...training to be a certain something, are you?" Oooh, Brianna knew this character all too well. She'd been this noble character for as long as she could remember. "I've known the likes of people like you. Allow me to fully introduce myself. I am Lady Brianna of Tyndale, knight of Camelot."

Wait, was she supposed to say that? What if Arthur meant for it to be a secret, since women weren't technically allowed to become knights. Not yet, anyway.

"Huh?" What in the Goddess' name was she talking abou- Oh! The punching bag! "Oh, this?" Brianna punched the bag lightly, as if motioning for it. "It builds up strength and the way one learns how to combat, before actually using a real person to practice with."

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Brianna... This person was a woman. Oh no. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Lady Brianna. I meant no disrespect, it's just that where I'm from ladies don't usually try to train in fighting. Not that it's bad that you do. I think it's admirable, actually." Alanna was not going to admit her gender to the first person she met at this place, even if the woman trained in fighting. She could get help without telling Lady Brianna that she was a girl as well. It could be useful, though...

Alanna's eyes lit up at the official introduction. "You're a knight?" The excitement was obvious not only in her tone, but also in her animated face. "It's nice to meet you, Lady Brianna. I didn't know if there would be any knights here, or anyone in training. Does Camelot allow female knights?" Alanna quickly bowed and added, "We don't in Tortall. A knight is a knight, though. I'm Squire Alan of Trebond." She still wasn't going to tell Brianna that she was a girl.

'Alan' looked the bag over. "That's strange, we started out with people in Corus. We never had anything like this, though it sounds useful, I suppose." He couldn't help but wonder about this strange thing, and if it was another thing like the strange perfect paintings and the tiny people in the box.

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Brianna was already laughing and shaking her head at the boy. "No, no, no, don't even bother using my title. It only means something when I am performing any knightly duties of some sort. Until then, I am simply Brianna," she said, bowing her head slightly as if this boy had some noble recognition of some sorts. It was the respectful thing to do, no matter who he was, or how much younger he was from her.

"Besides, I myself am getting used to the idea of being recognized as a girl again," Brianna replied with a bit of a smirk. She still relished the idea that she could be confounded with a boy sometimes, mostly because it reminded her of the fact that she, a girl, had earned the title of knighthood, and couldn't have done so if she hadn't been a boy.

Admirable, he thought? Well, that was pleasing to know. And it was also slightly comforting to know that not only Camelot disallowed women from becoming knights, but also at this kingdom where the boy was from. "Oh, there are quite a few knights here, in fact. Of course, none of them are really female, but Arthur's betrothed, the Lady Guinevere takes particular interest in sword fighting, herself," she said with a nod and a smile. "Arthur, by the way, is the crowned prince of where I come from, from the kingdom of Camelot."

At this, Brianna needed to bow her head again. She respected anyone who aspired like she did. "Alan of Trebond," Brianna tried on her lips. "I am not familiar with the location, but I am sure there are too many lands to be familiar with them all. I do wish you luck on your journey to knighthood." It would be best to answer Alan's question now, explain to him a little bit. "Actually, Camelot does not allow female knights. At the age of ten, I took on the disguise of a boy, called myself Brian, and became a page. I've been Brian up until only recently, when the war started descending upon us, and I saw this as the opportunity to be honest, and come clean to Prince Arthur. To be knighted."

Brianna glanced over at the punching bag. Honestly, they used people to fight as well, in Camelot. But this proved to be far more useful. She couldn't hurt anyone on accident. "There is nothing like this is Camelot either, but I've found this useful indeed. It helps to punch an inanimate object, at times." Brianna nodded. She knew all too well about releasing her stress and anger when she had much of them.

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Alanna smiled slightly. "Well, in that case I'm thrilled to have met you, Brianna. You can call me Alan," she offered, trying to keep her voice below a tenor. This woman would find her out if anyone would. If she could fool her, as awful as it was, she could keep her secret from anyone she wanted. Excluding special circumstances like Jonathan, of course. That couldn't have been helped, but at least he'd been accepting. More than accepting, in fact, making her his squire when she moved up from page.

"They let the betrothed of the Prince practice sword fighting?" 'Alan' asked in awe. She'd never really thought about Jonathan being married, though of course one day he would be. She supposed when it happened, he would be wed to a princess. A princess who would do lady-like things like shopping and giggling and doing her hair. Definitely not a woman who fancied herself a fencer. A small part of her mind whispered, A woman like you, you mean. After all, there could be no arguing that the future Queen should be a proper lady, and sword fighting was not proper.

The squire couldn't help but stare at the older woman as she explained her story. It took her a moment to remember that not only was staring bad for her cover, but it was also impolite. "You told him that you were a girl before you were a knight? And he still did it? Even though it was against the rules?" she asked, astonished. Hopefully it wasn't too obvious that she had a more personal interest with the subject.

At that Alanna smiled. "Well, fighting with nothing certainly helped my fencing, so I'll give it a try. Maybe if we weight our wrists it will be the same as fighting with a too-large sword," she suggested with a grin. "Why did you wrap your hands like that?"

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"Alan it is!" Brianna exclaimed, mirroring the smile the boy was giving her. He was a pleasant young fellow, and Brianna could predict some sort of a future friendship with him. She might even be able to teach him a few moves with the sword, perhaps a few blocking maneuvers as well. If anything, Brianna wanted these young aspiring pages and squires to succeed. She knew the feeling.

Brianna nodded quickly. "Oh, yes. And it's not even so much the matter of letting her as is the matter of doing what she says." Shrugging, Brianna flexed her hands. "After all, the Lady Guinevere is to be a future queen. She can do whatever she pleases." Many women in Camelot practiced sword fighting, actually, although not many of the royal members openly fought. Gwen and the other lady, the king's ward, were known swordswomen in the kingdom, actually. After giving it another thought, Brianna said, "Many women fight, really. They just do not allow female knights. Stupid rule, but..."

It was always nice to know that a young squire could pay such attention to a lady knight's story. It wasn't a very interesting one, but it did hold some values and some meaning. Brianna snickered a bit at Alan's staring, and then nodded. "Arthur has a noble heart. He knows what is the right thing, and would defy his father too, if he thought the laws were unjust. The prince is admired in many kingdoms for his heroic acts."

She smiled. Brianna would serve Arthur for as long as she lived, even if under the fealty of the Lady Guinevere. "He honestly didn't have much of a choice, what with the war about to start. An extra knight can go a long way. Perhaps if I speak with Arthur, he can place you somewhere on the battle field as well. Any extra skill is helpful. That is...if you have the stomach to fight yet." She should know better than to push a boy to fight. A boy who probably had not been trained to kill yet. Usually, it was instinct, with every child who became a page, but some just didn't have it in them.

Glancing down at her bound wrists, Bree lifted them up a little. "Oh, the wrapping helps with the stability of my wrists. I wouldn't want to fracture or break my wrists. Wrists are very much needed for a knight. Without good wrists, one simply cannot even consider training to be a knight." She shrugged. "I've broken it once. But the healer I had fixed it quite nicely." She wasn't sure if she should disclose the fact that Levain had used magic on her wrists. It was allowed at Tintagel, but perhaps the boy would be against such a thing, as so many were.

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"That's so strange. Women in my kingdom learn only how to be proper wives. Well, and magic if they are able," Alanna told her. "The only exceptions are the servants of the Great Mother Goddess, who protect the temple. Men are not allowed." How different these two kingdoms were... She was enjoying talking to Brianna, especially because they were from such different backgrounds.

'Alan' nodded at Brianna's description of the prince. "I don't know if Prince Jonathan would openly defy King Roald, but he is a noble knight. I was his squire, you see." She smiled, but it turned into a frown. "But wait, how did he knight you here? Don't you have an Ordeal to complete first?" After a second of thought, she added, "Is there a Chamber here?"

Alanna was smiling before Brianna suggested that she couldn't fight. "I've already been in battle," she stated. "Of course I can handle it." Of course, when she said battle, she meant with the Ysandir. She had no idea what it was like to fight and kill other people. She would learn eventually, and it wouldn't be a pleasant thing for her.

Alanna continued staring at her wrists. "That's a good idea. It's always better to learn how to prevent wounds rather than relying on healers to fix the damage once it's already done. If you aren't a healer yourself, there won't always be one there, and if you are then there might be a time when you can't afford the time the wound will take." She glanced at Brianna with a smile.

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How interesting two different kingdoms could be! Brianna had never heard of Tortall, and she wasn't sure Alan had heard of Camelot. How many kingdoms were there out there? "Yes, well, women in Camelot only learn to be proper wives as well. There are some who like to rebel. When they are caught, they are put to death." She shook her head. "And magic is not permitted in Camelot. The king forbids it, and puts to death anyone who practices it or is associated with it. I, of course, am not very curious to learn, but I disagree with his views."

It would be marvelous to be squire to the prince. Hah. Brianna hadn't even met Arthur face to face before Trenale. She knew him and of him, but not very personally. She had always been just another knight-in-training. Wasn't his man servant, that Merlin boy Arthur's "squire" of a sort, anyway?

Practically mirroring the frown, Brianna shook her head. "Chamber?" Brianna shrugged. "No...Ordeal. A knight of Camelot becomes a knight when he earns that title by proving himself in a situation of nobility, or simply versus Arthur in combat until he declares the title. Usually by the time a squire is coming of age, he is knighted, or even before an important war, like I have been." It still wasn't her most favorite thing about which to brag; it was a pride thing, because Brianna hated knowing war brought about her knighthood, but she accepted it.

And by battle, Brianna understood that the lad hadn't been on the frontlines either. She understood all too well. But there was just something about Alan. Something Brianna was seeing, looking right at, but couldn't figure it out. "Well, that's good, then. Always good to know how battles work before something bigger than a mere battle." She knew all too well.

Again, Brianna frowned slightly. She suspected that when Alan was referring to healers and being one, he meant something of magic. Well, Levain was a healer. And used magic to heal her that one time. But it was quite wonderful how Alan understood about how wounds took forever to heal, and there just wasn't time for that always. "I had a broken leg and wrist not long ago. The healer at Tintagel used something advanced and healed me in just a moment's time. But now I am extra cautious. The healing comes with consequences, consequences I would not like to repeat."

She held up her hands. "This is why I am taking every precaution. If I am to fight, they need me in full health and with able wrists."

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"I don't honestly know what would happen if a woman was found practicing swordsmanship. I assume it would be up to her husband or her father." Alanna said with a sigh. Surely when Jonathan was king, he would allow women to become knights again. Formally. How could he not, after approving of her quest to knighthood so firmly? Until then, all the young ladies would still have to go to the convent then to court and finally to her new husband's land. She hoped that they would be happy.

Alanna listened to the talk of magic. "But asking children to hide their magic is infinitely more dangerous than teaching them to control it. If they aren't taught, then they'll never be able to control it and ultimately destroy themselves and likely everyone around them," she said with a scowl. "How could the Gods let that happen? No disrespect meant, Great Mother." Alanna bowed her head slightly.

With a humph, 'Alan' set about explaining the ritual of the Chamber. "The Midwinter after a squire's nineteenth birthday, they sit vigil for a night. They're bathed in holy water and told the Knight's Code, all the while not talking, which they can't do until they exit the chamber the next day. They aren't allowed to tell what happens in the Chamber, but it changes them. Even the Prince... he's been different since he emerged. It must have been horrifying. He wakes up screaming in the night. There was one squire who died in the Chamber, since he failed the Ordeal. Some go insane." She opened her eyes to free herself from the images behind her eyelids. She hadn't even noticed she'd closed them.

"Aren't wars just a series of battles?" Alanna asked, looking up at Brianna. "That's what I've been told, anyway..." Not that she'd known a whole lot about war, since there hadn't been an actual war since before she was born.

The young squire nodded understanding. "The pages and squires don't usually get hurt badly enough to see a healer. We work through the pain, and we're stronger at the end. Part of it is so we don't make the same mistake, I think. The Duke doesn't want us constantly bothering the healers when we'll get better faster without them."

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Had Brianna heard correctly? It would be up to the lady's father or husband if she was found practicing with a sword? What kind of kingdom was Tortall? A woman in Camelot certainly wouldn't be punished, but she would be scolded, at the worst. Still, there were many women who wanted to fight back sometimes, and they knew they would be frowned upon, so they didn't. But Brianna wasn't afraid of anything like that. The worst that could happen to her if she was discovered in Camelot would be that she could just not become a knight.

Which was pretty much the same thing as being put to death, in her opinion. "Goodness. How sad!" she exclaimed. "Nothing like that in Camelot. A woman would simply be frowned upon, not punished."

"Oh, but the children don't usually get to the age of even having to hide their magic. Sorcery is rare in Camelot, and once it is discovered, it is killed. The king has put so much fear in the people of it, that they report any hint of magic suspected throughout the kingdom. Many children were put to death during the time of the Great Purge, when everyone affiliated with magic and sorcery were put to death." She shrugged. "I disagree with this ruling of the king's, but I must obey it."

Some things were just so interesting in other places. Brianna should probably make an effort to learn more about the other kingdoms. It might prove to be useful one day. She had never heard of such an Ordeal, but it sounded a lot more complicated and violent than what they did to knight squires in Camelot. "I have never heard of such a thing. But it sounds like a very good way to prepare one for knighthood." Brianna thought that was a lot less cowardly than just being knight.

"Well, yes, they are. But it really all depends on the situation," she shrugged. "Healers are very important where I come from. Sometimes, they get knights' lives put into their hands. It's all a very delicate matter. Rare can we find healers which can be trusted."

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"But you think women not being able to do as they please is sad? Those are innocent children. They couldn't choose whether they had the Gift or not," Alanna said, frowning. How could anyone be so cruel? Magic wasn't something to be frightened of, it was something only to be careful of. How could the gods have allowed something so terrible to happen to those chosen to be blessed with a god's gift?

"I've spoken to older knights, and a lot of them say it's the hardest thing they've ever done," Alanna confided. "I still have to wait four more years, I wish I could get it over with." The truth was, nothing scared her as much as the Chamber did. She hadn't even been through and it kept her awake worrying. What if it didn't let her pass because she was a girl? It wouldn't do that, would it? She had to hope.

"That makes sense. I wouldn't want to be a healer in your realm either, what with your king. How do you even get healers at all when magic users are slaughtered like that?" Alanna questioned with a frown. She might be afraid of magic, but that didn't mean that all sorcerers deserved to die.