This is not the Viking way (Jim)

[Deleted]

Beowulf really hated this place, but most especially today. Mostly because they didn’t have anything that looked edible. And he didn’t know where the food was coming from or what it was made out of. What he wouldn’t give to have some meat roasted on a stick over a fire. Now that would be an adequate meal. Not this bread thing that looked remotely like a triangle and has red stuff all over it with melt cheese. It was strange and he didn’t appreciate it.

He also didn’t know how to eat it. The young Viking was rather disgruntled. He did not like this place one bit. The food here was absurd. It was all absurd. They didn’t have any meat roasting on an open fire and no one seemed capable of hunting anything anyway. Nor could anyone cook a decent fish around here either. No fish. No fresh meat. Just this ridiculous thing that they called pizza. That was even a ridiculous name for the thing.

Beowulf stared down at his lunch unhappily. This was not the diet of a Viking. This was absurd.

[jim]

In between classes, and as usual, Jim had way too much energy. The result of always feeling well rested was often a chipper, upbeat Jim who bounced around from place to place with far too much cheer. Alternately, he would be manically cheerful yet in desperate pursuit of something to bring his energy down a notch. Today, he definitely falling into the latter category. So food it was. He had discovered that large quantities of food slowed him down a notch. The buffet in the mess hall was the perfect place for him gorge himself. He loaded up a couple plates with heaping spoon fulls of mashed potatoes, pasta, and even some of the weird looking meat loaf from the day before, and set them on a flimsy looking tray. Skipping past the salad bar (yech!), he grabbed a couple apples, and then, almost as an afterthought, a large bowl of banana wafer pudding. He turned to find a table, and realized he was in a predicament.

It was the lunch hour, and the mess hall was crowded. Scanning the hall, he could spot no table with enough room for his overflowing tray. Except maybe over there the corner - there! One lone dark haired figure staring a single plate. He made a beeline through the crowd and plunked his tray down, sliding into a chair.

"Hi there. Jim Hawkins. Nice to meet you. I see you like pizza. So do I. But meat loaf is freakin awesome." He shoveled a large forkful into his mouth and smiled cheerfully at the other man.

[Deleted]

Beowulf was not appreciating his very un-Viking like lunch so there was no way he appreciated someone coming in and ruining his peace by sitting there and talking to him in such a rapid fire manner. It did not suit him at all. And Beowulf was inclined to glare at the young man that had dared to sit with him. Why anyone ever wanted to sit with the young Viking was beyond his ken. He just wanted to be left alone in peace and quiet, but Fate was not kind to him. No, Fate always seemed to be forcing him into social interactions with people he only barely tolerated. Well this would not be tolerated! No it would not! Not at all! This was all absurd anyway.

He briefly glared at the other young man, then turned back to his own meal, if he could even call it that. What he wouldn’t give for a nice stew right now or a well cooked fish roasted slowly over a fire. This place was absurd with their stupid pizza. But he was hungry so he decided he might as well try it. He was sure that if he hated it he had probably eaten worse things. And while doing so he would continue to glare and ignore the other young man who had dared to sit with him.

[jim]

Jim chewed happily on his meat loaf and barely noticed the other man's surly behavior at first. Food was delicious, he was hungry, it was a perfect match. Food was awesome. He looked up to ask the other man if he agreed and it was at that point that he saw how extraordinarily and completely obviously the man was ignoring him. He was being ignored so hard that he thought the other man might actually bust out of the ridiculous shirt he was wearing.

Well that just wouldn't do.

"Hey man, you look haven't had a crap in weeks." It was a wildly inappropriate thing to say, but then, even before the accident, Jim hadn't ever been known for his tact. "So, uh, maybe you should eat something and, y'know. Get the system moving again. Man, not pizza though. That'll just make things worse. You need something with high sugar. Or maybe some beans. Here, have an apple." He pushed the fruit across the table with the tip of his knife.

[Deleted]

Beowulf poked at his stupid and rather absurd looking pizza or whatever this sorry excuse for a meal was. He looked up when he was being addressed by the other young man. Honestly, he had no idea what Jim was trying to say. He was from too far back in history to really understand what he was trying to say. And if he had understood he would have been highly offended. As it was, it was probably better that he did not fully understand.

Instead, he just stared at the fruit that was pushed across the table to him. He had never trusted fruit. There was little fruit that could be grown in Geatland. The fruit here was still a bit exotic and he didn’t quite trust it. That being said, he also had no idea how to respond to the other young man. This whole thing was absurd. Why could he not just eat in peace like he wanted? The gods were having fun at his expense and he did not appreciate it.

But he took the apple and pulling out the knife that he had hidden on his person, he began to slice the apple carefully, still ignoring Jim. It was easier to ignore people, especially when Beowulf didn’t know what to say to people.

[jim]

Jim finished off his meat loaf with a satisfied belch and pushed the empty plate under his pasta dish. He twirled his fork in it happily and took a big bite. "You don't talk much, do you?" he observed as he swallowed. "I mean, it's whatever, that's cool man. I didn't mean to crash the one man party you've got goin on here. But there was no where else to sit, so. Yeah. Didn't really have a choice."

He might have seemed to be a totally oblivious ass, but he wasn't really. He understood that sometimes, you just needed to go solo. But he was hungry, and he sure wasn't going to stand and eat. So intrude on this guy it was, and he was at least trying to make the best of it. The other looked like he had a serious humor problem.

But he did consider it a slight victory that the guy was eating.

Eating with a terrifyingly large knife, but whatever. It was cool.

[Deleted]

Beowulf did not have a humor problem. He was far too serious about everything to find anything to laugh about. He did not joke. He did not smile. No, he was too serious for that, and if he could have his way, all Vikings would be the same. But they weren’t and he had always been an odd one. Not that he cared. People would think what they thought. And if they thought he was odd then so be it. Beowulf did not care.

Everyone here was a heathen anyway, and the young Viking certainly did not appreciate heathens. No one had any respect for the gods. It was all absurd and stupid. This whole place. And the people in it. Why his father had thought that sending him away would be good for him when he was sent to a place of heathens, Beowulf would never understand. And he would probably have to address the heathen sitting across from him sooner rather than later.

“Vikings keep to themselves,” he said, barely glancing up while he said it. And then he went right back to slicing the apple.

[jim]

Jim was careful not to react in any obvious way when the guy offered up four choice words. He was beginning to understand that the more ebullient he was, the less he was going to get out of the guy. He let the matter rest in silence for a good five minutes while he finished off his pasta, which turned out to be of substantially poorer quality than the meat loaf. Odd, considering it was usually the other way around when it came to cafeteria foods. "I understand that," he said finally. "I prefer to keep to myself as well."

He took one bite of the banana pudding and grimaced as his teeth squished through a mushy overripe banana. Awful. It was a terrible thing to make pudding this distasteful, especially considering how easy it was to make pudding. He set the spoon down and pushed his bowl away. "Listen," he said, "I don't mean to be annoying or anything, but you don't seem like you're enjoying this meal any more than I am. Would you like to go some place where you can get real food? I think you'll like it. And if you don't, well, I'll pay anyway."

[Deleted]

Beowulf finished the apple silently, then wiped his knife silently on one of those napkin things and stowed the knife away. He had noticed that this Jim fellow had not reacted at all when he mentioned he was a Viking. Most people reacted in some way, but not this fellow. Not that he cared. Beowulf didn’t care about heathens. Well, most heathens anyway. There were a couple he didn’t mind, but that was not the point.

The Viking looked up at Jim. He listened carefully to the offer, then considered it silently. As much as he was bothered by this young man, Beowulf was much more bothered by this poor excuse for a proper meal. And if he wasn’t paying then he supposed that would be fine. “Where?” he asked. He wasn’t quite familiar with all the places one could around in Trenale, only because he mostly didn’t bother to go there. Too many people. Plus he wasn’t interested in trying this stupid food that these heathens ate.