Hometown (Dad)

[Mumble]

When Mumble was working out choreography, it was common for him to get a little lost in it, to be completely oblivious to anything else that was going on around him. Which was why the best times in his memory had always been the ones where he got to do that with the people he cared about. When he got to bring his daughter into his little bubble of dance-induced seclusion, that was when he felt closest to her. He never got to do that anymore, now that she was off at school, and these times when she was here, at home, he treasured them.

She did the move perfectly, and he felt another little pang of guilt for ever having doubted her. Of course she could handle a simple back handspring. She was a Mumble, for guin's sake. He clapped his hands together in instant approval as she landed it, and moved to pause the music again.

"That was great," he said, pride apparent in his voice. "That's exactly what I was thinking. Hey, you should come and dance with the group, I'll tell Bo that she can have the other part she wanted instead." He was only half-joking; he was always trying to get Aiden to come home and accompany the studio team to this or that competition somewhere. He paused the music and turned back around, and...woah. What was happening?

"Hey," he said, suddenly concerned. "Hey, kiddo, what's wrong? Did you hurt something?" He dropped down to his knees beside her, laying on hand on her back and trying to peer up to meet her eyes. "Do you need a drink, some air?"

[Aiden Mumble]

Her father was praising her, inviting her to dance with his group. This was what she wanted, why was she freaking out? She should be happy. He liked it, she'd done it right, what more did her body want from her? Decent food? liquid that wasn't alcohol? A decent nights sleep? Well too bad those were luxuries for people that didn't have her life. Sleep was for people that didn't have a friend that could wake up at any moment and grab a handful of pills or a sword he was hiding somewhere she couldn't fine. Rest was for someone who wasn't in love with a person who could be slaughtered at any moment. Healthy people got sleep and nourishment. People that deserved to be healthy were so. She was a mess and she deserved nothing more. She wasn't helping Mordred and she barely managed a few words to Hinrik. What if he never came back and all she told him was 'I hope your sister pulls through.' And all that was not to mention that she would never be the daughter her parents deserved because she was nothing more than a complete and utter screw up.

"I don't know!" she gasped, pulling away from his touch and hunching forward. "I can't breathe, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't know why this is happening." she rambled, she tried to remind herself that her lungs worked, that she wasn't dying, she was just freaking out. CALM DOWN she raged in her head, it wasn't helping.

[Mumble]

Mumble had seen this before. He'd been through this before, not so much lately, but there had been a time in his life when the feeling of I can't breathe I can't breathe I'm going to die hit him at alarming frequency. A rush of guilt washed over him. He had done this. He had done this to his daughter, whom he loved more than life itself, he had made her dance when she wasn't ready, he had passed down faulty genetic material, he had brought this on her.

"Aiden," he said, calmly. "Listen to me. I'm here. You're going to be fine." He kept his voice low, and didn't try to reach out to touch her again. "I'm right here." He tried to meet her eyes, focusing only on her, letting the rest of the room and any thought of dancing go. "Breathe with me, okay? I'm going to count to ten, we're just going to breathe when I count. One." He took a deep, slow breath, and then let it out just as slowly, still not looking away from her. "Two." Repeating the action, he glanced around for her things. If she had anything in her bag that might help with this, he wanted to grab it, but her things were still probably in the kitchen, weren't they...damn. "Three." Another deep breath.

"When you feel like you can talk," he told her, "tell me if there's anything I can get for you? Water, or friendship sticks, anything at all, okay? Just think about breathing for now."

[Aiden Mumble]

Her hands when up to her head as it began to throb. Hyperventilating was doing the opposite of what her brain was screaming for and hindered the amount of oxygen getting into her lungs. Her fingers laced through her hair as Mumble began to talk. Oh God He was seeing her freak out and she couldn’t stop it. He was going to have every question in the world. He was going to know she wasn’t doing well and he was going to worry. He was going to wonder why she was doing badly and how could she tell him all the many dark holes she had dug herself into lately? How could she tell him and look him in the eye. How could she say to his face that she would never be as good of a dancer as he was and it tore her apart.

Painful tears streaked her face and she did everything she could to keep her eyes away from her father, her deeply guilty eyes. He was instructing her to breathe. ”I’m sorry” she repeated weakly, shaking her head. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t breathe. Still he persisted and she made more of an effort, trying to focus on what he was saying. He deserved to be listened to after what she was putting him through. She felt the tension in her chest release slightly. By the time they’d gotten to three she’d at least discovered that she wasn’t going to die. The hyperventilating stopped, but she wasn’t out of the woods yet. Her thoughts still raced and tears still stung her eyes.

Talk? This nearly sent her right back into a tizzy. The last thing she wanted was to talk. In fact, if she could avoid that for the rest of her life she most certainly would. Couldn’t they just pretend this hadn’t happened? She kept trying to take deep breaths, since it had been working before. She had enough sense now to know she needed to focus on something else, to still her mind and everything else would follow. Don’t think about talking, don’t think about his face, don’t think about...friendship sticks?

Aiden blinked her eyes. The words had a lot of happy memories attached to them. They had a lot of old memories attached to them; from when she was younger and braver. Did her father still think she ate friendship sticks? She was twenty one years old. Out of nowhere Aiden felt her breathing stagger into something of a breathy chuckle. She leaned back and slumped against one of the mirrors on the wall. She Chuckled weakly again. The idea that her father still wanted to bond of friendship sticks so sweet and odd that she couldn’t help but laugh.

”Friendship sticks?” she repeated, her voice a little hoarse. ”Dad, do you still eat friendship sticks?” She said, a hand on either side of her face and a tired smile appearing on her lips.

[Mumble]

She was apologizing? What for!? This wasn't her fault, this was definitely not her fault, it was obviously his, because she'd come home and he hadn't even given her a chance to sit down and catch her breath and clear her thoughts before he'd dragged her in here and tried to get her to start dancing. If anybody needed to be apologizing here, it was definitely him.

"Nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart, nothing at all," he said softly, reaching out to stroke her hair gently. "I'm here, just keep breathing." The mention of friendship sticks seemed to have gotten to her at least a little bit, and she smiled, which Mumble was pretty sure was the best thing he'd ever seen.

"Just when you're home," he said, a grin spreading across his face slowly. "They're just regular old fish sticks when you're not here. They only become friendship sticks when I have my best friend here to share them with." He held out a hand to her. "Come on. Let's go to the kitchen and have some friendship sticks, and we don't have to do any more dancing tonight, alright? I'll make you some cocoa, too, if you want."

There was still a dark, nagging mass of worry tangled up in his mind. What had set this off? Was it that he'd suggested she might not want to do a hand spring? Was it that he'd been bothering her about her personal problems? He had a thousand questions, but he knew full well that bothering her with them now would be a terrible idea. At the moment, he just wanted to help her relax, make sure she was at least a little bit comfortable in her own home before he started asking her what had made her uncomfortable in the first place.

[Aiden Mumble]

Aiden let out a few staggered breaths that were hard define between laughter and crying when he explained the 'friendship stick' comment further. They used to eat them all the time when she was little. They were a reward when she'd done something good, they were a comfort snack when she was sad, and sometimes they just ate them for no reason at all. Aiden suspected her Dad always liked them more than she did. Her mother never was very interested, which was understandable since she was part fish. Aiden used to sneak up on Andy and shove it near her face saying something like "just try it, mommy!" and her mother would crinkle up her nose and stick out her tongue. Aiden thought it was the funnest face in the world. Things were really simple for a while there. All she had to worry about was what knew dance shoes she wanted and getting the best seat on the couch. Maybe she could pretend for a moment that life was like that again. Maybe she could just exist for a minute or two.

She let out a long breath and took her father's hand. She stood up, but she realized she couldn't let go. She felt tears welling up in her chest again, but she forbade them from going any further. "Ok" she said, in a voice that didn't feel like her own. She wanted to let go of his hand. She wanted to receded back into her shell. A part of her want to leave, but she was so tired of fighting and she longed for comfort. So she didn't let go and she didn't leave. She simply took another breath a prepared to head toward the kitchen. At least he had said no more dancing. That sounded pretty good. In fact, so did hot cocoa. She'd be ok. She had her Dad.

[Mumble]

Mumble was reliving the past a little himself as he tried to talk Aiden down, as he waited to see whether his attempts were going to be enough to get her out of whatever bad place she had gotten sucked into. It was funny...people said that when you died, you saw your whole life flash before your eyes, but for Mumble, seeing his daughter in crisis seemed to pull up her whole life instead. Aiden trying to force feed her mother fish sticks. Aiden, seven years old, finally big enough to sit in the front seat next to him as they drove to recitals. Aiden bringing home a second place trophy and being nearly inconsolable until Mumble brought her a bowl of the ice cream with the little chocolate fishes in it. Aiden, a tiny bundle of attitude and fussiness from the day they brought her home from the hospital.

No one had ever warned him about this. People, his parents mostly, had tried to tell him that there was no love like the love you would have for a child, but no one had ever prepared him for how much it would hurt, how somehow, seeing your child in pain would feel like your own pain amplified times a thousand. What were he and Andy even thinking, starting this whole cycle all over again? The tightness in his chest released just slightly when Aiden agreed to come into the kitchen, and he pulled her up to her feet. "That's it," he said, trying not to sound as utterly relieved as he felt. "You're gonna be fine." He wanted to hug her, wanted to pull her into his arms and promise her that everything would be fine and that he'd never let anything hurt her, but the older she got, the more he realized that just wasn't a promise he could make.

But he could definitely make her hot cocoa, and he could keep her company until her mother got home and could hopefully do a better job than he had of making their daughter feel at home in her own home. He led the way to the kitchen, grabbing milk out of the refrigerator and a saucepan out of a cabinet. "You just sit right there and I'll get this started, okay?"

[Aiden Mumble]

Aiden moved slowly. She felt like she was made of glass and moving to fast would cause her to shatter. She only let go of Mumble's hand once they reached the kitchen and he bid her sit. You'd think the floor was a mine field by how carefully Aiden navigated to her seat. She had already broken once today, she couldn't stand to do it again. She felt exhausted as the adrenaline from the fear dissipated and her body and emotions were left raw and painful. She said quietly, choosing to look at the wall rather than her father. She felt like he'd just found out she'd flunked out of school or she needed to be checked into rehab. She felt like he'd just found out she was diseased and broken. This was exactly the type of things he'd been trying to avoid. Now what was she supposed to do? The damage had already been done. There was no taking back a panic attack in front of your father. There was no playing it off as something else. He knew something was wrong and there was not much she could say to prove otherwise.

Aiden looked at her hands on the table. They were still shaking slightly. She leaned forward and laid her head down on top of them, stretching her arms forward to create a makeshift pillow. She was careful to make sure her eyes were facing away from Mumble, just in case he was watching her. She felt a wave of sadness topple over her, but she shoved it away. There would be no more crying today.

[Mumble]

Mumble went directly to the oven and turned it on to preheat, then moved to the freezer and pulled out the box of fish sticks. "I still always get the same brand," he said, reaching under the counter for a baking sheet, which he began to unpack the fish sticks onto. "You know, when you were really little, you decided on this brand, you wouldn't eat any of the other ones. Even if you couldn't see what box they came out of, you always knew the difference." He gave her a soft smile, arranging the fish sticks on the tray.

"Listen, kiddo," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. "There's...there's nothing wrong with being overwhelmed by stuff, there's nothing shameful in that. Back before your mother and I were married, there was a space of about five years when I was just...I was really a mess, and I'm afraid you might have gotten more from me than my sick dance moves." He reached over and touched the top of her head gently. "I guess what I'm trying to say is...if you're overwhelmed by stuff, if you feel that...like that I can't breathe feeling, don't ever feel like you can't talk about that. Because...I've been there, I really have. Every parent tries not to let their kids see them when they're weakest and all that, but I have been there."

He glanced over at the oven, which, despite the advertised "INSTANT PREHEAT" option, seemed to be taking a little bit longer than he would have liked. "You can always talk to me about this stuff. I know I'm your dad, and I'm not always the coolest, but I love you very, very much, and I will never judge you."

[Andrina]

Andrina Mumble had a bit of an absurd life. She had six private, professional vocal students whom she often traveled with and nineteen various instrumental students who studied everything from the flute to bass guitar. She was also in the middle of finishing up her own album and writing a few songs for celebrity friends. It was an honest to gods miracle that she'd managed to squeeze in a doctor's appointment between all of that and remember it. It was a good day. Andy was feeling good. Her voice had finally fully returned after pushing it a bit too hard last month and she felt extra proud about the way she'd sounded in the studio. She'd even stopped by one of her's and Mumble's favorite stores to pick up a few special items for later.

Bags in hand, Andy burst into the front door and shouted "Honey, I'm hooome!" Just like she had done way too many times before. She kicked off her shoes haphazardly and headed down the hall. She was headed toward the dance studio, but thought she heard sounds coming from the kitchen and redirected. She had lifted her shirt up half way before she entered, assuming they were alone and just plain tired of being fully clothed. Thankfully she noticed her daughter before she'd tugged it all the way off.

Andy gasped excitedly and awkwardly tugged the hem of her shirt back down over her belly. "My baby is home!" Andy rushed her daughter, all but ignoring her poor husband in light of the fact that Aiden hadn't been home in a good five months. Andy abandoned the bags on the floor and forced Aiden up into a painful hug. "Mumble why didn't you tell me!" She complained "Oh my gods I missed you so much, you smell so nice, what have you been doing? Hows school? Do you have a boyfriend? Oh! my love, are you crying, whats wrong?" Andy finally pulled away and noticed the streaks on Aiden's face. Yet Aiden wasn't looking back at her face, but rather staring at her belly. Her obviously pregnant belly. She had been at the doctor's this morning for an ultrasound, but why was Aiden staring? They had told her...hadn't they?

[Aiden Mumble]

Her father began talking, softly, cautiously, confirming that she looked like how she felt: breakable. She kept her head in her arms and facing the wall, focusing on keeping her breathing slow. She wanted to smile at his story about the fish sticks, but the words washed over her dull and tired brain and triggered nothing. He began to try and relate to her and this time his words triggered an emotion, but it wasn't relief. Her chest tightened again as he placed a hand on her head. He was saying he had been here before, but Aiden had a hard time believing it. Her parents had always been so optimistic and positive it was hard to picture them as anything else. Aiden had had happier days, but she'd never quite achieved their unbridled joy for life. She probably never would. Would that disappoint them too?

He insisted he knew how she felt and, even if she didn't believe him, a part of her was resigned to be grateful for the effort. Silent tears rolled down her face as she kept herself turned away from him, but a large sigh may have indicated that she had at least heard him. Maybe this would turn out for the better. She didn't want him to have seen her lose it, but there was no taking it back now. Now that the bridge was crossed maybe she might as well tell him the rest. He was her dad after all, you were supposed to be able to confined in your parents. He may be disappointed, but at least she wouldn't be carrying it around anymore. She couldn't carry it around anymore. Aiden sigh again and was about to turn to face him when she heard her mother burst into the house.

In a panic, Aiden's head shot up to stare at her father. "Don't tell her" she said urgently, without thinking. If her father was worried, her mother would lose her mind if she know Aiden had had a panic attack. She would probably insist on therapy or at the very least talking it out. None of that could happen. Aiden couldn't handle her mother knowing. Speaking of her mother, only a few moments passed before she was in the kitchen, her shirt nearly off, revealing a rather noticeable belly.

Aiden felt a chill run through her body. Her muscles ached with pain and confusion as she stared, mouth open, at her mother. Andy of course, didn't notice at first. She was pulled up into a hug that squeezed her against that baby bump Aiden was still trying to convince herself was her imagination. It felt awfully real as it nearly crushed her during the embrace. Finally her mother pulled back after a barrage of questions that Aiden wasn't hearing over the loud chanting in her head asking over and over are you pregnant? Andy asked her why she had been crying, but it no longer mattered. There was a whole new issue on the table now.

"Mom..." Aiden said, a little edge in her voice. She glanced at her dad too, searching for answers, then turn back to Andy. "You're pregnant." She said, slightly surprised at her own certainty. Yet, she was certain. It was noticeable and her mom was not a very large person, even smaller than Aiden. It had been months and she didn't know. They hadn't told her.

[Mumble]

The oven finally finished preheating, and Mumble pushed the tray of fish sticks into it, shutting the door and dusting his hands off. "There we go," he said, "thirteen minutes and we'll have all the friendship we could want." Because that was the way these things worked, naturally.

He had not been sure when his wife would be getting home; she was going to the doctor, but she had been gone a while, and it wasn't surprising to hear her come in the door. He did have a momentary panic, though, because Andy had sent him a somewhat suggestive text about some shopping she was doing, and he suddenly realized that she didn't know Aiden was here. Please don't be naked, he thought, for perhaps the first time in their whole marriage. Aiden's quick plea pulled his attention away from the potential nakedness, though, and luckily, Andy hadn't gotten any clothing fully off by the time she made her way into the kitchen.

"We can talk about that later," he assured Aiden. He wasn't going to lead with that anyway, not when there was a happy mother-daughter reunion that needed to happen. Of course, Andy immediately noticed Aiden's tears, and Mumble made himself busy looking around in the refrigerator so he wouldn't be the target of any interrogation that might necessitate him going against Aiden's request. And then Aiden noticed something, the thing, the whole reason Andy had gone to the doctor today, and a sick feeling of dread started to creep up in Mumble's throat. They had told her, hadn't they? They had to have told her. On the phone, or the last time she was home, or...

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

"Surprise!" he said, putting on the biggest smile he could.

[Andrina]

"Yes!" Andy said with a small laugh, not fully understanding the look of shock on Aiden's face or the tone in her voice. "Yes?" She repeated, realizing the error they must have made just in time for her husband to announce that it was a surprise. Andy laughed softly, hoping Aiden would forgive them quickly and join in the joke. They had forgotten and it wasn't great, but Aiden had put up with a lot of their forgetfulness over the years. Surely this wasn't so terrible. After all it was a pretty wonderful surprise. She was going to have a little sister! In fact, Andy had just found out today that she was going to have a little sister. She was going to surprise Mumble, but maybe that could wait until Aiden had a little more time to process.

Andy moved over to Mumble and stood on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek. He was so happy it made her heart swell. Another baby. Aiden had brought so much joy into their lives and since she'd been gone they'd missed her so terribly. Yet they missed more than her presence, they missed her growing up. They'd missed showing her off to friends and family and watching her first steps, hearing her first words. Andy missed having a baby. No one could every replace Aiden, of course, but she didn't really need them anymore. She was all grown up and her poor mother barely ever saw her anymore. She was so happy she was home and that she knew now. They could have a little party before she went back to school. They could celebrate and sing songs, it could be wonderful. Andy beamed at the idea. Aiden was just shocked for a moment, is all. Andy was a bit shocked when she had first found out too, but it didn't take long before joy overwhelmed her. She turned back to her daughter and watched her, waiting for the joy to sink in.

[Aiden Mumble]

"Sur...prise..." Aiden repeated slowly, watching her parents with a dumb expression. "Surprise?" She said again, taking a step back and shaking her head. What was happening here? Was she getting punked? This couldn't be real. How could this have even happened? Aiden would have assumed her parents were too old for this to even happen. Yet, there her mother stood, exchanging a loving look with her father, the two of them the picture of joy. They were going to have another baby. She was going to have a sibling. They were going to have a baby when they couldn't even remember to tell their own daughter that they were fucking pregnant until five months after the fact.

Aiden felt her chest seize up again. Was she about to have another panic attack? She placed a hand on her forehead, feeling dizzy and confused. There was something else besides shock bubbling inside her that kept her from tumbling over the edge into uncontrollable fear once again. What was she feeling? Her throat felt like it was closing up and her breathing turned heavy and difficult. Her palms began to sweat and tremble. She flexed her jaw back and forth and then all at once her shock dissolved into an utter, terrible rage.

"Are you fucking joking?" She said in a stern, but quiet voice. Her eyes flashed dangerously. She had never spoken to her parents this way before. She had always tried so hard to keep any anger she felt for them bottled up until it burst forth in other areas of her life. She only wanted to see the good in them. They were always trying their best, after all. It's not like they were cruel people and she loved them deeply, but she couldn't just stand there and pretend like this wasn't a massive mistake.

Aiden turn towards the door and took a few steps, thinking she might just leave, but then thought better of it and turned back. Her eyes swiveled back and forth on the ground in front of her as she calculated all the terrible things this could mean for all of them. "What makes you guys think you can do this!?" She said incredulously. "Are you going to remember to pick this kid up from school this time? Are you going leave this one in middle of a mall all the time too? Are you going to remember to put fucking locks on all your weird sex rooms this time?!" Aiden grew louder the more she thought about all the things that had caused scars on her childhood. She felt an enormous pain tearing at her heart. They thought they could just try for round two and get it right this time? Was she really such a disappointment that they had to try again this late in life? They were easily the most irresponsible people she knew, what right did they have to try raising another child when it was a miracle she made it to adulthood at all.

"You can't raise another baby, you barely raised me!" Aiden stormed, unwelcome tears appearing in her eyes as she shouted accusingly at the only people she had ever really wanted to make happy.

[Mumble]

Of all the reactions Mumble had expected out of his daughter, this had not even been in the top ten. He had expected some resentment, maybe, some anger over having been left out of the loop. Maybe some worry, because the two of them weren't really young anymore and Andy was so tiny to begin with. He had not expected open hostility and rage and disrespect. Not from Aiden, who had always been so loving, so patient with the two of them as they fumbled their way through parenthood.

His first reaction was hurt; he was hurt because his daughter, the daughter he loved more than life itself, was saying horrible, awful things to him, was questioning his ability to parent, and was acting as if he hadn't done everything in his power to give her the best life he possibly could. But that hurt quickly shifted to anger when she included her mother in all of that.

"No," he said, firmly. "No, no, no, you do not get to speak to your mother that way, not under my roof." Not under my roof? Had he really just said that? Oh, Guin, he had become his father, he really had. "I've never claimed to be a perfect father. I know I've let you down in a lot of ways and I know as well as anybody that your parents can disappoint you like nobody else can, but you do not get to stand there and act like we haven't loved you with everything we have. I am sorry I'm forgetful, and I'm sorry I didn't teach you better not to go in rooms you're told not to go into, regardless of whether they're locked or not. But I am not sorry we had you, I am not sorry for the person you've become, and I am not about to apologize for your little brother or sister."

He put a protective arm around Andy, pulling her close and leaning over to kiss her on the side of the head. "I know this is a surprise, it was a surprise to us too, but it's not a bad thing. We're thrilled. I'm not saying you have to be thrilled too, but we aren't bad parents, we're just human parents." Mostly, anyway, mermaid thing aside.