The Ground We Stand On (Arthur)

[Dimitri]

So this was it, huh? This was how he was going to die. Hands stuffed deep in his coat pockets, Dimitri trudged through the long grass, very aware of the silent man he walked closely behind, and even more aware of the very sharp sword Arthur held. So was that how he would do it? Run Dimitri through with his sword? Or just drown him when they got to the shore? It was a magic land, people go missing all the time. Arthur could easily just rejoin the others and say Dimitri had run off, or that damn Russian had fallen in and drowned, or some flying beast appeared out of nowhere and carried him off. So many options, and who would even care to question it?

“So...” he eventually broke the silence, unable to stand it any longer. But what was he supposed to say? Hey, remember that time some years ago when I poisoned you and took you to the enemy? Yeah, sorry about that man. My bad? “How long you think it's been?”

Find some common ground, delay as long as he could. Talking had always been his strong suit, now was not the time to fail. “It's only been four years for me, but this place...” he kicked at a long stalk of grass in his path. “Place doesn't look like this after just a few years.”

Interesting topic of conversation, right? And discussing what had happened was surely more interesting than disposing of your conversational partner and going it alone.

[Arthur]

Arthur had spent most of the journey keeping an eye out for any sign of danger, either lingering remnants of the invading army or any other creatures that had decided to make Tintagel their home since they were gone. They had thankfully not come across anything…yet. But that did not mean that there wasn’t anything. The other part of the journey had been spent going over exactly what he was going to say to the man walking in front of him, how he was going to word it.

As Dimitri walked ahead of him Arthur kept his hand on the hilt of his sword. It was better for Dimitri to go ahead for two reasons, one, because from what he remembered of the soldiers of Wayron they were more of a sneak up behind you lot than jump out in front of you, and it was probably best for the person with the weapon to go at the back. The second reason was because…well…he wanted to keep a close eye on the man in front of him.

Dimitri was right, it had looked like longer than 10 years had passed here, then again it also looked like not as much time had passed for Dimitri as it had for him. There was a part of him somewhere that was probably going to feel a little self-conscious about that later, however for now…there was the question.

He let Dimitri talk whilst he figured out his first move, when they reached the field Arthur stopped and listened…when he heard nothing he decided that now was the time. It was time to finally get his answer.

“Dimitri,” said Arthur, keeping his face expressionless, “why am I still alive?”

[Dimitri]

When Arthur's footfalls stopped behind him, Dimitri halted as well, turning back to look at his former friend. Arthur was listening, so either he had heard something suspicious, or he was just confirming that all was quiet and they were alone. Apparently it was the former, as a moment later he completely ignored Dimitri's words and asked a question of his own.

Ah.

Looking down at his feet, Dimitri swallowed as he thought of that day, the memories as vivid as they had always been. The hurt, the disbelief, the betrayal; Arthur was expressionless now, but he hadn't been then, not at all.

He considered the question, and his options with it. Questions always boiled down to two options: lie, or tell the truth. For most of Dimitri's life, the former had come so naturally to him while the latter was a struggle. Lies rolled off his tongue as easily as his own name. Lies got him what he wanted, lies kept people at arm's length, and lies were always the simplest and most welcomed answer. Truth, though... truth was harder. The truth was rarely what people really wanted to hear, and it rarely put Dimitri at any advantage. Lies were better, and in this case who would really believe the truth? He had no proof, nobody to back up his claims, just the words of a known con artist. On the other hand, didn't Arthur deserve the truth? And what advantage was there to anyone to lie now? Lies would serve no good, so it was about time for a little honesty.

Taking a deep breath, Dimitri held his arms out and shrugged his shoulders as he expelled it. “It was never intended to kill you,” he admitted. “Just knock you out, and weaken you.” Reluctantly he raised his eyes to Arthur's face.

[Arthur]

Arthur waited for the response in silence, his hand continuing to hover over the hilt of the sword. Everything may be quiet but that was no reason to let his guard down, especially not since Dimitri was here. He held his ground and more importantly the gaze of the man in front of him as he turned to speak. People said Arthur was oblivious and in some respects they were correct, however over the years he had been king he had started to get incredibly good at spotting liars. It was in their eyes. And from memory Dimitri had been one of the greatest liars; Arthur was going to need to watch him very closely.

When the response finally came, Arthur gave a brief nod.

“And then what?” asked Arthur, “what happened then? Or rather…what was the plan? Do you even know what they did when you handed them over to me? Did you even ask?”

‘Was it your idea?’

[Dimitri]

Arthur was so cool, so stoic, it was unnerving. He should have been angry, should have threatened Dimitri and demanded answers. That at least would have been expected and easier to deal with. So much better than this silent scrutinizing. That accepting nod.

Finally the questions started to come faster, started to show that chink in his armour. He was still upset, he should still be upset. It had haunted Dimitri for four years, surely he had felt it too?

“I saw an opportunity and I took it,” he said. “I had to gain his trust. Trenale was losing, and the best way to win was from the inside, I wasn't lying about that. But he had to believe it, and for him to believe it, everyone else had to too. All the reactions had to be real, the more people that knew the more chance someone would slip up. I needed him to trust me.”

He tried to keep the note of pain out of his voice as he spoke. He said more between the lines, that for it to appear real everyone had to believe him a traitor. Everyone had to hate him. He had to let people he cared about be captured and hurt, and nobody knew how much that had killed him, but it had seemed like the best way, the only way, to secure a victory.

[Arthur]

Again Arthur nodded.

It made sense, and if Dimitri was lying to him then he was not picking up on it.

If Dimitri was indeed working as a double agent then he would have had to do something to make the invading army leaders trust him, and ensuring that the rebels reactions were genuine would have been critical. It would have been an extremely dangerous position for Dimitri to have put himself, one slip up and the invading forces would have just killed him outright, he had taken a very big risk.

If he was telling the truth that is.

“I see,” said Arthur, “but what I want to know is…do you know what they did to me after you handed me to them?”

[Dimitri]

Just like that Arthur was back to the stoic soldier so different from the man he had known. It was driving him crazy; Dimitri had always been so good at reading people, it was part of the job, but he couldn't read Arthur right now, couldn't get a feel of whether he believed the story or not. If he had to make a guess, though, he thought Arthur at least wanted to believe him, and that was a start.

It felt awkward, standing out here in the open and talking about it all. It felt like the kind of conversation one should sit for, but maybe that was all part of Arthur's tactic. Make at as uncomfortable as possible, keep Dimitri on his toes, off his guard, unable to truly get his bearings. It was a good one, he had to admit.

“Yeah,” Dimitri admitted, swallowing again and running his hand back through his longish hair. “They planned to control you with magic, and send you to lead their army against your own.”

[Arthur]

Arthur stared at him, “So you did know.”

He nodded. Like before, it made sense.

He was silent for a moment, just staring at the other man and then eventually said, “it would have been quite effective if they had been given the chance to use it. It certainly would have made a few of our sides biggest hitters think twice…although I would have been disappointed if they had hesitated. I would have thought I had trained them better than that.”

Arthur took a few steps forward towards Dimitri, “and what was your plan? After they had turned me into this mindless slave hell bent on killing my friends and family, what were you going to do?”

[Dimitri]

“Yeah, I knew,” Dimitri confirmed, leveling his gaze at Arthur. He knew what they wanted, had even planted the seeds there himself. It was the tell of a good con man: being able to make someone believe that your idea was theirs. And of course he would be chosen to carry it out, a test of loyalty and innocent prisoners' blood on his hands if he betrayed the command.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot in the silence that followed, feeling more uncomfortable than ever. He didn't know what to do with his hands, so back in his pockets they went; he didn't know where to look, so fixed his eyes on a random point over Arthur's shoulder. He wanted to keep talking, to explain everything in a rush, but he didn't want to sound suspicious, nor planned. He had to wait, had to let Arthur run the show, and just answer the questions as they came. “It was a blow to morale they were going for... a loss of hope. Hard to fight with no hope.”

When Arthur approached him, hand still on the hilt of his sword, Dimitri took one instinctive step back before forcing himself to hold his ground. He winced at the words, as the very idea of it had haunted him. What if he had failed and they had succeeded? They it would be all his fault. “I wasn't gonna let it let it get that far.” He met Arthur's eyes again. “I was boarding with a wizard at the time, and we worked this whole thing up together. There was something else in that poison, something that was supposed to counteract the mind control. The plan I told you was the truth, free the people who were captured, take them down from inside. I just didn't tell you you'd be inside too.” Maybe he shouldn't have smirked a little then, but this was Dimitri.

[Arthur]

Arthur listened to Dimitri’s explanation intently, mulling the words over in his mind. He could imagine who this wizard was that Dimitri spoke of and believed that such a man was capable of a plan like this, given what he knew of him from his own reading of him. It made sense as well, tactical, it probably would have worked as well, whatever else he was feeling he could not deny the fact that the plan had been a stroke of genius. However, there was something very important that Dimitri had implied with his statement, something that he had been waiting to hear, and there it was.

He desperately searched Dimitri’s face for the lies, however when the man smirked, that sealed it.

His hand fell away from the hilt of his sword.

The rest of him seemed to relax, his eyes still darted about here and there keeping an eye out for danger, but in general he let the weight fall away from him. He looked up at Dimitri and said quietly, “you did what you had to do…I can respect that. It was a time of war…we all did things…we regret. At least yours was in the pursuit of something good. I would have happily sacrificed my soul at the point to save the lives of others…although…it would have appreciated even the slightest heads up.”

He smiled a little; it was somewhat tired looking but no less genuine, “it’s good to see you Dimitri.”

Despite feeling more relaxed Dimitri still didn’t know the whole story and Arthur was debating over whether to tell him it or not. He had clearly had to make a difficult choice during the war, one that very well might have eaten up these past few months…was he ready to hear what that choice had led too? Dimitri was being honest however…didn’t Arthur owe him the same?

“I figured a while back that killing me was never the intention…on account of I was still alive and that you don’t seem like the type to botch something like that…besides, I know your love of cons, this has to be one of them,” said Arthur crossing over to where a tree had fallen and leaning against it, motioning for Dimitri to come and join him, “however…you and the wizard got one thing wrong. Whatever you put in that poison…it didn’t work, when I was pulled back to Camelot…I wasn’t me.”

[Dimitri]

Dimitri tried to prepare himself for the worst, for Arthur to call him a liar and draw his sword, but the prince's hand fell away instead and Dimitri could finally breathe again. If he could convince Arthur of his innocence then surely everyone else would believe him, right? Well, all save for one person. Nothing would ever convince her he wasn't a dirty, lying, traitorous scoundrel, and it was all his own fault. She would be right too, except for the traitor part.

Arthur relaxed, at least around him, and when he spoke, all culminating in a smile, Dimitri felt a tightness in his chest. They had been good friends once, and Dimitri hadn't really realised how much the weight of the past four years had been weighing him down, threatening to crush him. He had his own questions when it was his turn, but for now he felt more than a little overwhelmed. Arthur, the person he had seemingly betrayed so coldly, believed him, and in that moment that was all that mattered.

Relief was obvious on his face, and his whole body seemed to sag with it. Sadly, it didn't last, as Arthur had more to say. He had figured out that it had been part of a plan? Then why act like he hadn't? And did he mean to speak in present tense? Did he think Dimitri was conning him right now? But then...

“What?” he asked in surprise. What did he mean it wasn't him? “Of course you're you. We all got pulled back to our homes. You went back, so you were you.” Still, that ice cold fist had started to squeeze around his heart again.

[Arthur]

The apparent relief in Dimitri was a good sign. There was no doubt that Arthur believed what he was saying, but still it was little signs like that which made him feel better about it. Some would say he would be a full to trust the word of a man that had lied to him and tried to poison him, however he had changed much over the past ten years. Not only that but he had seen much which put a lot of things into perspective.

He could see the tension rising in Dimitri again, but he had to push on, they were being honest after all. It was not that they he wanted to lay more weight to the young man’s shoulders, it was only that he thought he ought to know, so that he was prepared if anyone else brought it up. In the end, he thought it was better coming from him.

Arthur shook his head and said, “Whatever it was you gave me did not work. When I returned to Camelot, for the first few months, I was exactly what the invading army wished me to be. The perfect killing machine that continued the war against my friends and family…it…it took me a while too…come back to myself.”

Arthur looked round at Dimitri and quickly added, “but you did not know. The wizard gave you something that should have counter acted that, you had every reason to believe that it would work. I have had a long time to think about this and…well…I…I just want you to know…I don’t blame you…”

[Dimitri]

Whatever it was Arthur was about to tell him, Dimitri would have bet all of his recent winnings on the fact that he was not going to like it. More than that, he was pretty sure he was not going to hear it. Arthur believed him, he didn't blame him, and everything worked out in the end. All's well that ends well, right? Why ruin it?

He was already shaking his head even before Arthur started, first almost pleadingly, then in disbelief, then... imploringly. It couldn't be true, they had safeguarded against it, but why would he say it if it wasn't? Dimitri's face was ashen and he took a step back. “I'm just gonna...” he didn't finish his sentence, though, just sat unceremoniously in the tall grass. “You don't blame me,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “Why not? I mean, it's my fault, right?” He looked up at Arthur. How could he be so calm, explaining this? Dimitri, his friend, had turned him into a monster and he was okay with it? “How many?” he asked after a moment. “How many people?” How many had died because of him and some potion that failed or because they had underestimated the magic of the enemy. That would come back on Dimitri too, he was the one with the intel, he should have looked harder.

Then a thought struck him and a wave of horror threatened to overtake him. ”...war against my friends and family...” Arthur was here, Merlin was here, but... “Gwen's fine, right? The baby?”

[Arthur]

Dimitri was taking this about as well as Arthur had expected.

He stayed leaning against the log but looked down at the Russian but tried to reassure him, “It wasn’t your fault. You were given inaccurate information and ineffective tools by another who was also acting on inaccurate information. You might have been the one to deliver it but it was not your fault, and I do not blame you because you could not have known.”

Arthur didn’t look at him as he answered his other question, quietly, he said, “I don’t know exactly…I…I don’t remember, but…I asked Merlin for their names, I made sure that their families were provided for, it was…no one you knew…”

It had killed him, finding out what he had done, and he would carry it for the rest of his life. However, given who had been encouraging him to do what he did during those months…it could have been worse, it could have been so much worse. He went over the names every night, even if he could not remember the faces he went over the names. However, in his reign as king the list had only got longer, that was the problem, when you were king every life was in your hands and every lost life was on your hands. Years of ruling had given him a very different perspective on these things, not one he was entirely comfortable with, but it was necessary.

He met Dimitri’s eye now and said, “She’s fine, my son is also fine…he’s the one that brought me back.”

[Dimitri]

Arthur tried to reassure him, tell him it wasn't his fault because he essentially did the best he could with the information he had, but was that enough? Arthur didn't blame him, but Dimitri was sure feeling enough blame for the both of them right then. What was that saying? Hell was paved with good intentions? Well, he had certainly paved a good chunk of his path to hell with this one, hadn't he?

The revelation that the prince didn't even remember how many people he had killed was just another hard pill to swallow. That had to mean there had been a lot, right? Or maybe it was just so long ago now.

At least Gwen and the baby were okay. Breathing out slowly, Dimitri scrubbed his hands over his face, then back through his hair. A son. Rather, in Arthur's time, an heir. “That's good, at least.” He said, sort of numbly. Gwen probably hated him now, the one person who had always believed in him, but he could deal with that as long as she was alive and well. “I'm... so sorry.” Sorry, a word that he said so seldom it tasted almost strange on his tongue. “I... I should've told you. I thought the less people that knew, the more genuine reactions... maybe we could've come up with a better plan together.”

Maybe. Should have. Could have. The building blocks of history.