How Girls Work (...we think) {Henry}

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"And my uncle was chased by a dragon with fire breath. He was pretty scared, too, but he decided to just kill the thing instead." Henry frowned. "Of course, he had thumbs. And a sword. This may have changed some things." He looked up at Remy. "I am not suggesting you go kill the tiny woman. I just thought it was funny that she wasn't magical or anything. Not saying it wasn't still deadly or anything." He had never actually seen a gun outside of television, but it looked pretty terrifying, as long as it was in the hands of a good guy. Other than that it always seemed to miss. Some sort of calibration, perhaps?

"I--" Henry tried to defend himself, but he wasn't exactly sure how. In his mind humans were perfectly right to kill rats; it was self-defense. But then they'd never met a rat like Remy. Would that change anyone's mind? Maybe a mage, but they were pretty wacky anyway. And while he might try to argue normally, Henry decided to back down for now. He attempted to put himself in his new friend's position, and he could understand where some of the anger was coming from. "Sorry. Just saying how it is, not the way it maybe should be."

He looked at the giant goose. "Can't you just take it to the cafeteria or something? How do you store food here? Or do you have to just throw it to the dogs or give it to the poor like we do at home?" He assumed there was some sort of better system here. He certainly didn't see a lot of dogs or beggars hanging around the kitchen, so that option seemed rather unlikely.

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"Well, next time I see her, I'll use my deadly kung fu skills," drawled Remy. He nearly sighed in frustration. Henry didn't get it. Then again, it was probably expecting too much of the prince to think he would. Being chased by something large that wanted nothing so much as to kill and/or eat you was pretty much an animal experience, more specifically one like, oh, a rat.

At least Henry had listened to Remy's rant. He even seemed to understand it, to some degree. Remy wasn't exactly thrilled with the response, but he had to admit that it was a lot better than some of the responses he'd gotten. It was certainly good enough that Remy was more than willing to just let it lie.

Besides, they had goose to get to. "Well, I sometimes give out scraps to animals and stuff," admitted Remy, "but I don't know about something that big. I think we should probably get it to the nearest fridge..." Remy turned, looking back to the fridge from which they'd gotten the stuff for the sauce. "Do you think it would fit in there...?"

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Kung fu? But he--oh. Right. Sarcasm. Somehow it sounded different coming from the ex-rat, perhaps because he hadn't been a human very long. Or maybe because he was from a different era? Henry put it down to that and decided to move on.

"Yeah, a goose is pretty large. I guess you could give it to--the fridge?" Henry looked around and glanced at the fridge Remy was gesturing at. His eyes opened wide. "You mean you can keep it around after you've cooked it?" he asked suddenly. "It's not going to get eaten by birds and go dry? I mean, we can keep meat, but only jerky really. How do...you can..." This world was so strange.

Putting aside his wonder at all the technology in this place (it just kept getting better), Henry looked at the goose and wandered over to the refrigerator. He opened the door and looked back and forth between the goose and the fridge. He shuffled around some of the items inside and took another look. "Yeah, I think it'll fit. Here, I'll carry it over." He walked back over and grabbed the platter, lifting it off the table for a moment before dropping it again. "Ow! That's hot," he said, already looking around for some towels to grab the tray with. Finding some rats, he wrapped them around his hands and tried again.

"All right, want to hold the door open for me and I'll shove it in?" He reached out and grabbed the tray, lifting it and beginning to walk over to the fridge.

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"Uh, yeah, they've been preserving food for, like ever," said Remy. He looked to the fridge for a few moments before looking back at Henry. Strange, but now Remy could better understand why some people gave him a very weird look whenever he reacted to magic. Because he totally had to look exactly like Henry did right now. And boy, was it hard not to point out how much the prince was overreacting.

Remy resisted some other urges much less: "You should probably grab pads or something, since that came out of a hot oven," he pointed out. He then watched as Henry grabbed rags (I'm hoping it was rags and the rats thing was a typo, else Remy is about to get very upset). It was around that time that Remy's amusement and lack of movement in regards to Henry's actions finally faded out, or at least were overwhelmed by the chef's general desire to help people. He moved forward, helping Henry adjust his grip. He also paused along the way to grab actually hot pads, two of which he handed off to Henry.

"Alright, if you've got it," he said, nodding. He hurried over to the door, getting there before Henry. Remy knew that Henry had taken a peek and insisted that the goose would fit, but that didn't stop the ex-rat, who had substantially more training in such areas, from looking and judging for himself. He reached into move things, and wasn't at all surprised to see that the fridge seemed to... adjust. Remy paused to stare for a few moments, before deciding that, again, there were some things he didn't want to think too deeply about.

He turned about the time Henry would get to the fridge. Remy then nodded to Henry, before stepping aside, holding open the doors to hopefully get the goose inside.

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"Not ever," Henry muttered. "Otherwise I would know about it." So maybe he was a little awkward around technology. He couldn't get up-to-date on everything that quickly.

"Yeah, thanks, I'm on it," Henry said as he wrapped the rags (not rodentia) around his hands. "I just forgot it was hot for a minute." He begrudgingly accepted the hot pads that Remy handed him, though he thought it made his grip on the tray less secure. But then the rags probably wouldn't have been enough, so he tried to be grateful. "It's a little bigger than it looked from across the room," he noted.

Somehow he made it across the room without incident and was able to hoist the bird into the fridge. He pushed it toward the back, carefully not watching the various condiments shuffle out of the way. He grew up around magic; that didn't mean he had to like it.

"I guess that's it," he said, tucking the hot pads under his elbow and unpeeling the rags from his hands. "Finally those years of arm wrestling in taverns has paid off. I can officially lift a turkey." He smirked. "Thanks for the meal, but I should probably heading back to the dorms. Are you sticking around here or what?"

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{Omigosh, is the thread actually ending? It's only been like six months}

"Maybe they just don't do it where you're from," said Remy, adding a shrug. He'd studied food; it was sort of his thing, and he knew full well that they'd been preserving food for ages. That was back home though; for all Remy knew, Henry's people just had to go outside and pluck the food off the trees or something. Considering how little Henry seemed to know about the whole cooking process, that explanation really wouldn't surprise Remy.

The ex-rat waited while Henry made his way over, though he did wonder if he should have headed over there and actually done something to help with the whole transferring thing. Henry was obviously a lot stronger than Remy though, and the chef certainly knew his limits.

They got it into the fridge, and Remy moved forward to rearrange and reorganize things. You did have to shift a few things to get something as impressive as a goose into a fridge, after all, even a magical one. Remy still found that whole magical thing a bit disconcerting, but he kept convincing himself he just needed to get over it.

"You're welcome," said Remy. He took a step back, nodding at their work. "Anytime, actually. I love to cook, so it's great to have someone who loves to eat and stuff."

He considered the goose for a few moments, before nodding. "Yeah, I'd better get back too. I'm going to have to study up on a few things..."

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"Yeah no problem," Henry said. "I like eating, so next time I want a meal and the cafeteria's down I'll probably find you and make you show me where the kitchen is again. This place is a little confusing, you know?" Probably not. Remy seemed to know his way around this place extremely well, actually. Henry was still wishing for a map.

"All right, I'll see you later, then." Henry waved and headed outside on his way back to the dorm to finish up more of his homework and catch up on sleep. And he didn't trip on a stump and need a hand up, nor did he wait for Remy to finish organizing the fridge so they could talk on the way back. He just went home and went to bed.

And the story finally reached the (wait for it) end.