A Little Plant Problem {open}

[Deleted]

There was an easy way to solve this problem: light everything on fire. The problem mostly involved vegetation and other such flammable things, so it wasn't as though a good bonfire wouldn't solve things relatively quickly. In fact, Gandalf was fairly certain that he could start and maintain a fire, even keep it contained simply to the greenhouse. He wouldn't even have to use magic; he could simply use the lighter he carried in his pocket for a pipe. The wizard even had a brief, all too pleasant image of himself standing by a merry blaze, puffing on his pipe as the squirming vegetation died a horrible, painful, screaming death.

But he figured the school would frown on such a problem, and in all honesty, Gandalf really did believe in solving his problems in more clever ways. This was likely part of the reason why they'd sent him up here, though Gandalf half-believed they would have sent anyone up here who could possibly have handled the problem. Apparently, a younger student had dumped some magical fertilizer onto a plant, resulting in it growing to truly monstrous proportions. The growth alone wouldn't be so bad, except this was, again, magical fertilizer. The end result was a massive plant that happened to be quite alive. The only real consolation they had was that it did not, as of yet, have a mouth or any poisonous spines.

"I'm open for suggestions," said Gandalf. He turned to at least one of the other people on the roof. Hard to say when exactly said person got there; he or she might have even been sent up at the same time that teh wizard had, or they might have just scrambled up. Irregardless, it was clear that they were present, and Gandalf was certainly willing to hear any possible ideas to solve their little plant problem.

[bedivere]

Bedivere, when he looked up from a book long enough, was widely considered to be one of the more responsible and level-headed (space was a level, right?) faculty members. At least when one considered some of the other options. He was also very widely read on any number of subjects, so it was perfectly reasonable that he might have some gardening expertise.

Reasonable until you threw magic into the mix and realised that Bedivere was from Camelot, but luckily he was open-minded enough to consider magic more objectively, particularly since one was rather surrounded by it at this school. It meant he was rather out of his depth, but as with most things he was willing to press on and try and help anyway.

"Well perhaps the first thing ought to be to attempt to remove what remains of the fertiliser, in order to prevent it growing any more," he wasn't sure the thing needed the fertiliser's help at this point, but it was at least a place to start.

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"That would probably be wise," agreed Gandalf. He gestured toward the mass of vegetation. "That is, assuming the plant hasn't already used up the fertilizer already present."

Which Gandalf believed to be the circumstance. He wasn't entirely certain, to be wholly honest, and he even took a step closer to the mass in order to better inspect it. From all appearances, it looked as though the plants had taken over everything. They certainly had spread far more than the greenhouse had been intending to build. Gandalf wasn't entirely certain, but he thought he could just make out a few hands waving within there.

He looked over at the man who'd made the suggestion. Quite likely a professor, and one that Gandalf vaguely recognized from the general meeting in which all the faculty had been present and accounted for.

"I hardly expect either of us to be hearty volunteers for that project," said the wizard. He turned, scanning the area. There were a few students present, mostly those that had been directly involved with the incident. Right now, Gandalf was looking to see if there was one in particular that would make an excellent scout of some kind. Perhaps someone small?

[bedivere]

"Quite, quite," Bedivere agreed with a thoughtful nod. While he would happily and gallantly go forward to investigate - he was a knight, after all, and was not one to shy away from anything difficult or dangerous - it probably would be best undertaken by someone a little smaller, someone who could make their way through the vines a little easier.

"Although, of course, should it prove necessary I am happy to investigate myself," he added, not wanting to seem cowardly, although he did agree with Gandalf's assessment that they would probably not be the best men for the job.

"Is there perhaps somebody already in there that could take a look?" he moved closer, cautiously, and tried to peer through the mass of leaves to see if there was anybody who could make use of having been in an unfortunate place when the incident occured.

[Deleted]

Gandalf nodded. He had the uncanny urge to pull up a pipe and start smoking, which he figured would be considered inappropriate, all things considered. Instead, the wizard simply tapped his fingers against an arm, frowning as he studied it. Bedievere had made an excellent case, and it spoke well of the man that he was willing to enter himself. Gandalf was considering doing that as well, though he really didn't think it best to start with something like that. Besides, how would the students learn if the faculty constantly went about fixing things for them?

"I'm not sure if there's someone in there or not," admitted Gandalf. He took a few steps cautiously closer to the writhing plant mass, jerking his foot back as a tendril crept out to paw. "Is there anyone in there? Anyone currently being consumed by a rather vicious plant monster with a strange revenge complex?"

Well, he supposed it was possible. He didn't hear anyone, which was probably for the best. It would be quite awkward to have been standing there while someone was strangled to death.

[bedivere]

"Well I'm sure if nobody's answering, they're not in there," Bedivere responded cheerfully - he didn't really want to think about the alternative, but surely there would have been noise at some point if someone was still in there, and since nobody seemed to be coming forward and claiming they'd heard screams or so forth, it was probably safe to assume that the plant was free of casualties.

"It's not exactly the most elegent of solutions," he began thoughtfully "but perhaps a little pruning might help? I can't imagine the school has any garden shears large enough for this sort of problem, but I could always fetch my sword?" There was something slightly disconcerting about a scruffy, tweed-clad professor offering so casually to retrieve weaponry, but Bedivere was trying to be genuinely helpful. Besides, it had been a little while since he'd had occasion to use his sword, and while he was glad of the peace, it was sometimes nice to remember old times.

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"Or they've been consumed by the plant," suggested Gandalf. "Or possibly brainwashed to become its vile minions. Really, man, you live at a school where aliens and wizards are students; you need a more active imagination."

Despite his protests, however, Gandalf found himself more or less agreeing with his peer. The explanation Bedivere provided was the simplest, and Gandalf was certainly willing to take the simplest explanation. Those were, after all, the ones most likely to be correct. Bedivere's next suggestion proved as simply elegant, and Gandalf nodded.

"Yes, that would likely work," he admitted, "and I have a sword myself. I also considered simply lighting the whole mess on fire," he looked over at his peer, "do you suppose that they'd allow something like that? Or should we pick up our shears and hack away like overpaid gardeners?"

[bedivere]

"I imagine they haven't been consumed, this school has its insanities but nobody ever seems to actually die...or, at least, not for long, anyway." He actually rather liked that about the school, given the sheer number of bizarre instances that happened here, and the danger inherent in all of them, the total lack of student (or faculty) casualties was a heartening one, "my imagination is perfectly active, I assure you, I simply prefer to look on the more positive side."

"Overpaid gardeners, as uncouth as we would appear, is probably the most sensible option. Fire has a nasty way of spreading and there really are an awful lot of plants in those greenhouses. Probably best to save as many as possible, and swords can be aimed where fire cannot."

[Deleted]

Now that was a piece of information that Gandalf was going to have to shelf away for later. He'd had no idea about the intense history of the school, only what bits and pieces he could scoop up along the way. It sounded as though things had been like this for some time, which was something, at least.

For now, the wizard was already reaching for his blade. Since they'd summoned him, telling him there would be trouble, he'd at least had the sense to bring his weapon with him. He drew it out, though it felt strange in his grip, and he certainly didn't wield it with an expert's skill. Oh, there was skill; this was a man who had obviously spent time wielding a blade, but he was no knight.

"I suppose we had better get started then, before things get too far out of hand," he said. Gandalf looked to the weeds, gauging now as a foe as opposed to a problem. "Do you have any objections to my starting while you fetch your weapon? Or are you armed already?"

The wizard looked to the nerdy knight, considering the other man and looking for more obvious armaments.

[bedivere]

"No, no, I don't have it on me," he managed to stop himself continuing just in the nick of time, for he'd been about to say that carrying weapons on school grounds seemed somehow uncouth and not at all in keeping with the tone of being a professor. There Gandalf was, sword already in hand, and they'd been getting along so splendidly well that Bedivere didn't want to go insulting the man, particularly not when he was armed.

"You go ahead and start, I shall be back momentarily," he said instead, giving a cheerful wave to indicate that Gandalf should begin even as he spoke, and turning on his heel to head back to his living quarters. He headed back as quickly as he could, shedding his tweed jacket for ease of movement (not that it was more restrictive than armour, but since it offered no additional protection, he'd rather go for the increased mobility) and fetching his sword.

He returned with the weapon in hand, the hilt familiar and comfortable in his grip. Though it was a while since he'd had occasion to use it, he'd been training almost all his life to be a knight, and a few months as a teacher wasn't going to take away the ease and practice with which he held his blade.

[Deleted]

Gandalf nodded toward his fellow professor. In general terms, Gandalf actually agreed with Bedivere's unspoken assessment. Professors shouldn't wander about armed to the hilt, and they definitely shouldn't display weapons. In fact, Gandalf didn't even wander around with his disguised sword that often (though he did always have his staff; he'd sooner lose a limb than that), and had, in fact, brought it specifically to deal with the incident at hand. Nonetheless, the conversation point dangled there, and both men seemed to tactfully step around it.

Which left Gandalf alone, facing the plant. He spent a few seconds staring at it, wondering if he should attack it first or leave Bedivere to it. The wizard certainly had dealt with creatures like this before; even more horrific ones. It was more courtesy that made him wait than anything. It was when the wizard decided that it would probably be ruder to not start that he actually did so, stepping forward and swinging his sword with the rusty ease of an old swordsman.

Thus Gandalf was mid-swing when Bedivere returned. He looked over his shoulder at him, nodding. "So you're an older knight. Retired, I take it? Or are you just one who prefers books to blades?"

Well, nothing said they couldn't hold a conversation while going at the task. It wasn't as though it was something that required a great deal of thought.

[bedivere]

"Oh, no, not retired," Bedivere said mildly, hiding the minor hint of annoyance that he felt at the assumption - he wasn't, after, all that old yet. "It's simply, as you say, something of a preference for the academic, and as I am serving as a teacher here there is little need for my more knightly abilities. Well, the majority of the time," he chuckled.

As he spoke he moved forward, diving straight in to help Gandalf with the flailing vines. Cutting them off neatly with wide, clean strokes. The easy rhythm was oddly comforting, particularly since there was none of the accompanying guilt that usually came with using his sword - while he often put that aside during the heat of battle, he still took a moment to spare a thought for the people he had killed, and it was that loss of life that made the whole process somewhat less enjoyable. This was just pleasant, particularly with the added conversation.

"You seem at least somewhat capable with that blade, so you have had some experience I take it?"

[Deleted]

Gandalf was thinking more along the lines of wanting to put a life of violence behind you. This did seem to be what Bedivere did, to some degree. The weedy man certainly seemed more suited to picking up a book than a blade. Then again, Gandalf could say the same thing about himself. In fact, the more he swung his blade, feeling it catch on some vines, the heavier it grew. Experience he had, but it had still been time since he'd exercised these muscles.

"Quite a bit of experience, actually," admitted Gandalf, adding a grunt at the end. The plant suddenly got a little handsy, and Gandalf had to take a step back, hacking at a vine that attempted to wind itself about him. The wizard managed to beat back the first, but it seemed as though more were gathering. Perhaps this wasn't going to be as simple as he'd originally thought. "I'm actually a wizard, primarily. I learned that you sometimes can rely upon a blade to protect you just as easily as spells. Too often wizards use their magic first without thinking of the consequences."

The wizard grunted, taking several steps back to get room. He could feel his chest heaving, and he felt all too sharply just how out of practice he was. "Though I must admit, blasting all these plants has a nice sound to it. How are you faring on your end?"

[bedivere]

"Yes, I quite agree," Bedivere nodded "I think people relying a little too much on magic is part of the reason Camelot ended up in the state it's in, not that I have anything against magic users unlike some people, and I certainly don't agree with the state of affairs - it's outlawed there, you see, on penalty of death, nasty business, but perhaps if certain people had been a little more thoughtful and aware when it came to the consequences, the whole dreadful debacle would never have happened," of course then they never would have gotten Arthur, and Bedivere had high hopes for the prince, but while he was quite happy to chat away in a more abstract sense, revealing details (however many of them may be written down in the books here) felt more gossipy than academic.

As he chattered away he was still hacking at the vines in smooth, rhythmic strokes, and though he didn't feel as though he'd tire any time soon, he also didn't appear to be making any headway.

"Doing rather well," he replied "but there seems to be more of them than we thought, it might take a long time to continue doing it this way."

[Deleted]

Gandalf found himself mostly nodding. He knew the generalities, if not the specifics, of the whole mess back at Camelot. He did have Merlin as an apprentice of sorts, after all. The whole Camelot issue was, in fact, part of the reason why Gandalf had even decided to take on apprentices, let alone the two he'd selected to do so.

"You've a remarkably well educated mind for someone of a knightly caste," the wizard offered. He could still feel his chest heaving, even though he'd taken those steps back. He eyed the plants with a judging eye, nodding to Bedivere's comment.

"I agree. However, we can hope to hold out and make some progress until the school sends along someone a little more qualified," he said. He slid his hand into his pocket, pulling out his phone. A few quick button pushes, and the wizard could be quite confident that help would, in fact, arrive. This moved him back into a position to begin attacking again, though his movements were much slower. "You must get in more practice than I," he said, looking toward Bedivere, "as you seem to be handling yourself a good deal better than I."