Awful sweet, to be a little butterfly (Della)

[Deleted]

She didn’t even feel like herself right now. Della Miller never begged for anything; she was far more likely to just accept things that didn’t happen the way she wanted as more proof of the world sucking. And on the off chance that she fought against that sort of fate, she literally fought. She was far more likely to argue, maybe even threaten her way through getting whatever it was she wanted. That was another thing; Della didn’t really want much. You learned to not ask for a whole lot when you grew up with almost nothing…but gods, how much five minutes could have an effect on you that you were reduced to being your near opposite.

Then again…how likely was that? She didn’t care what anyone said, people didn’t change this drastically that quickly. People didn’t just stop feeling like themselves instantaneously. Maybe butterflies breaking their chrysalis, but not people…change occurred gradually, didn’t it? So in spite of what she had originally thought she had known…was it at all possible that this had been a long time coming? That this was the reason she had always felt so protective over him? The reason why he always meant so much to her? Deep down…had she wanted this to happen for the longest time? Because honestly, she had been insisting that she didn’t want to jump into anything again, because jumping had been the reason she had the problems she had with…that horrible person that had been keeping her from Panic?

Della Miller never needed anyone, she was so sure…until now, that was. Thoughts of the future weren’t even entering her mind right now, because…because it seemed like that beautiful…yes, beautiful boy was the only thing that existed, and if he walked out, she was going to be back to where she started, perhaps even worse than she originally was. Of course she would pretend that it was nothing, but right now she didn’t want to risk that…and so for the first time, she begged. Perhaps it was silent, and perhaps it wasn’t even getting through…but beg she did.

Then he was coming closer again, and she actually stiffened, sitting up straighter like that would somehow make this work in her favor. Her eyes were wide, still a bit bewildered by everything that was going on…the funny part was that she was looking so much like how he had, after that simple kiss on the cheek, the first time either had indicated that they wanted more than this façade they had been going through for the past two years. It was a reflex, really, that had her latch onto his hands when he was finally close enough, when he was silly enough to ask her if she wanted him to stay. Please…when was he ever going to learn that she would never ask him to leave?

“Please?” she whispered, finally managing a delirious little smile as she pulled him closer, kissing him softly again, but there was definitely an edge all the same. When she pulled away, she pressed her forehead against his, still smiling a little. You probably wouldn’t have been able to recognize her at the moment, she just seemed so…far from herself. Or perhaps she was closer than she had been in a while. Her fingertips slid up and down his neck, her eyes drinking him up, really looking at him for the first time. “Please…”

[Panic]

The moment he stepped into her range and she latched onto him hands the warm churning sensation in his stomach that had dulled in light of his anxiety intensified ten fold. It started in the pit of his gut and began to eat away at the rest of his being causing a new sort of nervousness that threatened the thought behind the first reasons for stress. He felt electric, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end as if he was clinging to a low voltage fence rather than a lovely young woman. He could feel her pulse through her wrist as it pounded with his, sending regular surges of of ticklish vibrations down his spine. All the feeling, the emotion, effectively turned his thoughts into a mass of quiet buzzing. His mind forced to focus on the simplest things, basic things. The things he wanted and how he might get them. The way her lips moved when she spoke.

He had to blink a few times before he realized what she had said and by then she was already pulling him into another kiss. He stumbled a bit, suddenly understanding the phrase 'love drunk' far better than he ever could have imagined. Eyes closed and mind occupied, he steadied himself quickly by placing a hand on her leg until she pulled away. He wanted to be glad for the way she placed her forehead on his, but it seemed to only agitate the ever persistent need he felt for her. It was beginning to feel uncomfortable as well as intensely blissful. All he could think about was satisfying such a hunger, but Panic still had enough of himself in the picture to resent the idea enough to avoid making any intentional moves himself, he only prayed to Zeus or Aphrodite or whoever that Della might kiss him again.

He only opened his eyes once she spoke again, and even then it took an effort, unwilling to allow his mind any way to shove thoughts of a world beyond this into his head. Please... she whispered again, her fingers cause goose bumps on his neck. He thought to speak and realized his breathing was rather heavy which was strange given he had only been standing here, be he gladly let the thought be pushed away by the hum of emotion that corse through him. He came to terms with that fact, at last, that she was virtually begging him for something, for him to stay. His brow creased, confused by the fact that she would ever think she would need to plead like so. He turned his head to one side slightly, eyes twinkling with sincerity as he instinctively raised a hand to her cheek and whispered.

Anything for you, Della

[Deleted]

Della didn't really have a lot to call her own. Actually, she was used to that, not having a whole lot. Even her own father's heart still belonged to the mother who had left for apparently no reason. For a very long time, Della had to rely on herself for a lot of things, and she had grown so used to having, for lack of a better term, nothing, that it never occurred to her to really want anything that was just hers, unless you counted herself, but most people had that, even if they didn't know themselves. Even as she grew closer to people, grew to realize that they could be trusted...two by two, for everyone a match, a mate, a doppel...that was just a fairytale for her...even when she had a boyfriend. She had always known, deep down, that he wasn't really hers. It was why they broke up...

But when Panic rested a hand on her face, whispered, Anything for you, she knew. This time, maybe just for now, for once, she had something...no, someone, that was all hers. She had spent so much time insisting that she didn't need something like that, but now was not that time. Now was the time beyond denial, beyond glances that meant more than she ever knew. She had been waiting her whole damn life for this, even if she didn't quite realize that yet, and she was going to it. She was going to hold onto him.

She nodded, whispering a simple, "Okay," realizing for the first time that she was smiling. Smiling because he wasn't going to run away from her, not this time. She pulled him closer, tilting back in the process, but for now she let her arms stop her from falling completely on her back...emphasis on "for now", of course. Once she had steadied herself, she reclaimed his lips, letting one of her hands rest in his hair, and dear gods, there was something special about just that.

[Panic]

He felt kind of sick, the funny sort of nauseous you get if your scared you've found yourself neck deep in something far to good to be true. That gut churning sensation that struggles to remind you that what goes up must come down and, heavens knows, with a high like this, he didn't want to imagine the low. It wasn't just the fear of lost that left him feeling strange, but an unfamiliar buzz of excitement that left him trembling as she pulled him closer and leaned back on the bed. He was far to lost and naive to possibly understand what the near future may hold. He could hardly comprehend the moment at hand, let alone where this dangerous path may lead him. All he knew was that she was smiling at him, and thats all he ever wanted. He could go his whole life enduring the most terrible torture if only he could see her smile in the way she did now. Never had she looked so beautiful. He watched her in awe until, suddenly, their lips crashed together once more.

His eyes intuitively closed, leaving him with only touch and sound to find his way. He kissed her a few times pulling away only to catch his breath, which he seemed to be constantly failing to keep in check. he felt something changing inside of him. His hair stood on edge and with every passing moment he's need for her intensified until a pang of understanding hit with with such force that he broke away from her and sat up in fear and confusion. It wasn't just his inside that had been changing. He was suddenly aware of the fact that he had been shifting unintentionally. He jerked his head to face a mirror on the far side of the room. He stared at his reflection in shock, trying to understand who he had changed into. His face was essentially the same, same blue eyes, he seemed to be still around the same height and the same age, but he was unquestionably different. His hair and darkened into a mare natural shade of blond, his skin a healthy shade of pink, cheeks flushed red with emotion and slight embarrassment. Though he was not buff by any mean, he was clearly a healthier weight.

Panic stared and stared, trying to figure why he would have changed himself into this, self loathing beginning to riddle his thoughts long enough to slowly began to change him back to his normal scrawny self until his eyes darted back to Della and he felt himself instantly shift again upon meeting her beautiful eyes. He was making her happy, was that it? She was happy, which made him happy...so then...this? He watched her with confusion, just about the only thing that had not shifted where the color of his bright blue eyes as he looked upon her. He blinked and few time before his voice finally found him and he finally squeaked oh...

[Deleted]

At a school like this, it was to be expected that even something that was, in the grand scheme of things, normal (that was, by the way, the only means that Della would ever think to describe what was going on as normal) would soon be met with some sort of magic. Yet she had been so caught up in the moment that when Panic broke away from her much more quickly than she had expected, her bleary, not-quite-in-reality mind feared that maybe she had gone too far, had pushed too many boundaries. What if, gods forbid, Panic wound up going right back to Square One, leaving Della wherever the Hell she happened to be? Even if she didn't know where she was, she knew she didn't want to be there alone.

Yet all of that paranoia didn't mean very much when she registered just what she was looking at. Oh, it was undeniably still Panic, which a small part of her brain managed to realize was pretty fortunate, considering his track record in shape shifting when something major was happening...and that was what he had done, now that she was getting a better look at him. While he was giving his reflection a quadruple take, she was staring up at him, processing this just the same as he was.

In spite of what Panic might have thought, Della had never really thought of him as ugly in the slightest. He was just...Panic. Her friend, someone that she would have gladly died to protect, and her main concern was the fact that he didn't seem nearly as healthy as he should have, but she had always assumed that was all part of being Hades' minion, another reason to loathe the god. But ugly? No, he definitely wasn't...

Now that this was established, it was like everything she hadn't been seeing all this time was literally making itself known...and ironically, she was so floored by the change that she had to let herself come up a bit to get a better look at how much...she didn't want to say better, even if that was her first instinct. For some reason, she felt an instinctive sense of hope, at least for a second.

Eyes still fixed on him, taking in the "new" Panic, she whispered, "I...what happened?" and her hands still couldn't help but rest on his arms, even now.