Post by Ezio Olympus-Thatch on Nov 26, 2017 17:59:56 GMT -5
Well, here he was. Three days into this new teaching gig, and he was no less stir-crazy than he had been at home, he felt no more like he belonged, no more like he was fulfilling some grand purpose. Ezio gripped the rail at the side of the pier tightly with one hand, knuckles white with the pressure and the cold of the autumn air. His other hand held a cigarette between two fingers, and he lifted that one to his lips, inhaling slowly before lowering that hand next to his other on the rail. He breathed out a cloud of smoke into the grey afternoon, obscuring his view of dark water lapping at the posts thirty feet or so below him.
He was here because Altair was here, there was really no sense in pretending otherwise. Because being at home alone with their fathers while Altair went off yet again and did glorious things and came home with a thousand stories of his grand adventures, that was just something he couldn't stomach any longer. He was going to see the world, he was going to see the road and all the places all his favorite writers had written about, but he had never done it, he'd sat at home and he'd written about the things he imagined himself doing. And now Altair was going to go off and change the world with the power of education? No, he wasn't getting left behind again.
Except...why did he still feel like he was being left behind, even now that they were here in the same place, even doing similar jobs? He was pretty sure none of his students appreciated what he was trying to teach them, and it wasn't as if he even believed in himself. He couldn't even have gotten this job if his parents hadn't pulled some strings, probably. Sure, he had some kind of certification, but they had to have had better candidates for the job, people like Altair, gifted, intelligent, driven people who weren't self-absorbed and with more bad habits than good ones.
Ezio jammed his free hand, now freezing cold, into the pocket of his leather coat, and lifted his cigarette to his lips for one last drag before tossing it into the water. This was the exact kind of thing he had to stop doing - coming out here, brooding at the ocean, feeling sorry for himself, freezing his ass off because it was better than sitting in his barely-furnished apartment pretending like he was going to write the next great novel of his generation. He turned away from the water, and walked back down towards the end of the pier. There was a little hotdog stand there near the end, one of those places that probably did much better business in the warmer months, and struck with a sudden impulse, Ezio dug a few crumpled bills out of his pocket and bought himself a hotdog.
"Hey," he added, handing over a little more money. "Give the next person one on me, okay?" As if a free hot dog could make up for all the things he had done wrong or hadn't done right...but somehow, as he walked away, it did make his heart a little lighter.
He was here because Altair was here, there was really no sense in pretending otherwise. Because being at home alone with their fathers while Altair went off yet again and did glorious things and came home with a thousand stories of his grand adventures, that was just something he couldn't stomach any longer. He was going to see the world, he was going to see the road and all the places all his favorite writers had written about, but he had never done it, he'd sat at home and he'd written about the things he imagined himself doing. And now Altair was going to go off and change the world with the power of education? No, he wasn't getting left behind again.
Except...why did he still feel like he was being left behind, even now that they were here in the same place, even doing similar jobs? He was pretty sure none of his students appreciated what he was trying to teach them, and it wasn't as if he even believed in himself. He couldn't even have gotten this job if his parents hadn't pulled some strings, probably. Sure, he had some kind of certification, but they had to have had better candidates for the job, people like Altair, gifted, intelligent, driven people who weren't self-absorbed and with more bad habits than good ones.
Ezio jammed his free hand, now freezing cold, into the pocket of his leather coat, and lifted his cigarette to his lips for one last drag before tossing it into the water. This was the exact kind of thing he had to stop doing - coming out here, brooding at the ocean, feeling sorry for himself, freezing his ass off because it was better than sitting in his barely-furnished apartment pretending like he was going to write the next great novel of his generation. He turned away from the water, and walked back down towards the end of the pier. There was a little hotdog stand there near the end, one of those places that probably did much better business in the warmer months, and struck with a sudden impulse, Ezio dug a few crumpled bills out of his pocket and bought himself a hotdog.
"Hey," he added, handing over a little more money. "Give the next person one on me, okay?" As if a free hot dog could make up for all the things he had done wrong or hadn't done right...but somehow, as he walked away, it did make his heart a little lighter.