You're having my baby {Meredith}

[Mordred Le Fey]

He had started pulling on his shoes when Genevieve's message mentioned Meredith - if there was something wrong he'd be there, he was on his way to help her - whatever she needed. 

But then those three words popped up on his phone.

Meredith is pregnant.

One shoe on, the other in his hand, he stared at the phone as it lay on the bed beside him, unable to process the words shining on the screen.  Even after the screen went black, he continued to sit and stare, unmoving, those three words burned onto his eyes.  She was pregnant.  She was having his baby. 

He was fucked.  That was it - Gwen might have spared him, but this was going to be so, so much worse.  Now he was going to have to face Arthur.  And Merlin - Gods, no one had ever even seen Merlin mad, and that made Mordred more scared than if he had to face a thousand Arthurs.  Who knew what he would do?

He sat like stone, staring at the now blank screen of his phone, as the minutes passed, thoughts racing through his head at unfathomable speeds.  He even considered running, but as his phone lit up with another message he came back to himself, shaking himself out of his fearful reverie and pulling his other shoe on before firing a message back to Genevieve.

It didn't matter.  None of it mattered - how her parents would react, how his parents would react, Tristian, Lorelei, Aiden - none of them mattered in this moment.  All that mattered was Meredith, and the child growing inside her.  Nothing else existed for Mordred now.  He raced out of the house, heading straight for the dormitories, moving faster than he'd ever moved in his life.  As he reached the building he pulled the door open, colliding with a group of students trying to leave, and pushed past them, barely even seeing them.  Reaching Meredith's room he started hammering on the door before he'd even come to a full stop, knocking loudly and insistently.

He was going to be a dad.

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

Meredith was lounging on the bed reading a book when the hammering on her door jerked her back to reality and she looked up, startled. What on earth was so important that whoever it was had to hammer on her door like that? Her heart leapt into her throat, wondering if something had happened, another duel or something back home or-
There was no use speculating when the knocking was still going on, so she put her book aside and pulled one of her baggier jumpers on over the vest top she was wearing, heading to the door.

"...Mordred?" she stared at the man on the other side of the door, he looked... rushed. Desperate and panicked and like he'd run all the way here "What... what is it? What's happened? Is everything okay? Is it Tristian?" she felt the panic seize her as well, a glow beginning to build in her eyes like she was getting ready to cast something, anything to resolve whatever the problem was.

[Mordred Le Fey]

The door opened and Mordred looked at the girl in the doorway, suddenly realising how out of breath he was and taking a couple of deep breaths, leaning on the doorframe. He shook his head quickly as she questioned him, raising a hand to silence her.

"Move in with me." He said quickly when he had his breath back. He reached out and took hold of her shoulders, looking in her eyes, his own deadly serious and calm. A sudden thought took hold and he dropped to one knee, taking her hand and looking up at her.

"Marry me. Meredith, marry me. I love you, and I'm going to stand by you, I'm going to do this right. I'll be a good husband to you and I'll take care of you and I will never hurt you again. I'll be true and I'll provide for you and I'll care for you, I promise you that. And I will take care of the baby, I promise you I will be the best father and husband you could imagine. This baby is everything to me - you are everything to me and I love you so much. I promise you I will make sure everything is ok, and I will support both of you and, Gods, Meredith, I love you and I will love our baby and I will be everything you need me to be and more." He finally stopped talking and took a breath, still on his knee, still looking up at her.

"Meredith Emrys-Pendragon, will you marry me? I... I don't have a ring, I'm sorry - but I'll get one. The most beautiful ring you could imagine."

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

For a very, very long moment Meredith just stared at him, eyes wide and shocked and utterly, utterly confused. The glow faded from her eyes, her mouth opened and closed a few times while she tried to find the words to respond to his outburst.

Eventually, she took a deep breath and gave him a fond smile, shaking her head slightly at him.

"Mordred, get up, you don't need to do this," she told him gently "I really appreciate it, I do, and I think you mean it... at least I hope you mean it... but you don't have to do this. I'm seventeen, I'm not getting married any time soon. And what would Aiden think if I moved in with you?" she realised she'd started in the wrong place, but at least she hoped her tone just sounded amused rather than cruel, hoped it reflected how much she was trying not to laugh, and how touched she was by his gesture.

"You don't have to do any of this."

[Mordred Le Fey]

He got up slowly, still holding on to her hand, nodding his head. “Yes, yes I absolutely do have to do this, because it’s the right thing to do and it’s the honourable thing to do - and that shit doesn’t even matter because I love you so and you’re pregnant and that’s on me and we should get married so we can raise this baby right.”

He was aware he was talking a lot, but he couldn’t seem to stop. There was a high chance he was in some kind of shock, but the only thing he could focus on was Meredith’s pregnancy.

“Aiden would be cool with it, we can figure it out - you can’t live in dorms pregnant - I need to be able to take care of you, to get you things you need. I can’t move in here so it makes sense.” He nodded at his own logic. “Or... I can find another place, a better place - bigger and I’ll baby proof it and make it a home we can be together and raise our baby.”

He needed to sit down. “Gods... there’s going to be a baby. We’re going to have a baby.”

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

Oh... wow, she hadn't... She went back over her words and realised she hadn't actually said... She winced slightly.

"Mordred..." She said slowly "Mordred there isn't... there isn't going to be a baby," he seemed so determined, but a little scared at the same time,she only hoped it would be a good thing "it was a false alarm, I thought I was pregnant but I'm not, I took a test, I took two tests, it was just stress, I'm not having a baby." She thought it might be a good idea to repeat it a few times just to make sure he actually understood.
It touched her deeply to know he was ready to do all that for her, but she also didn't want to rush into their relationship and resent each other later, she wanted to explore this like normal teenagers,not expectant parents, so for her the negative tests had been such a flood or relief she hadn't even got round to saying anything to... to Genevieve. Vivi must have said something...

[Mordred Le Fey]

Wait... what? He must have misheard, and he frowned in confusion. No - no, there she said it again. No baby. He didn’t understand, Genevieve had told him, Genevieve didn’t lie, this all had to be a huge misunderstanding.

“No... no baby? But... but Genevieve said, she told me that you were... but you’re not?” His mind was reeling, jumping from one place to another without settling on any single thought. He felt like he had just lived a lifetime in the short half hour between receiving Genevieve’s message and this moment, and he felt unsteady on his feet, as if he’d just stepped off a boat on a stormy sea and was struggling to readjust to solid land. He leaned back against the doorframe, running a hand through his hair.

“Wow. You’re really not pregnant?”

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

Meredith could see the rollercoaster of emotion playing out on his face and immediately felt terrible - she knew exactly how it felt, she'd just experienced it a little slower than he had.

"I told Vivi I thought I was, and I did, I really thought I was, but I took a test to make sure and it was negative, I'm not pregnant, definitely." She wanted to make sure it was really sinking in, but she was pretty sure the come-down from that kind of adrenaline wouldn't be fun so she moved over to the kettle automatically to start making him a cup of tea. She was only half paying attention and her tea things seemed to be helping her along, sugar spooned itself into the cup, milk moved into her hand when she reached for it, the spoon stirred the tea as she poured it, she didn't seem to notice.

"I know it's a lot to take in, come and sit down, I felt pretty exhausted after I took the test. We're not going to be dreadful teen parents, my father is not going to murder you, we do not have to buy or baby proof a house, I'm not pregnant." The cup lifted a few inches off the table to her hand and she passed it over to him.

[Mordred Le Fey]

He moved automatically as she told him to, sitting on the bed and frowning, still trying to take it all in. He didn't notice the tea making until she passed him a cup, and he took it without thinking about it, but didn't drink.

"Ok. So you're not pregnant." He sighed. "I guess that's a good thing." He felt utterly confused; he couldn't understand the way he was feeling. It almost felt like he was disappointed, but why would he feel disappointed? She was right - they were basically kids, they weren't even together, their current relationship was difficult to even define. And as for him, he was in no state to become a dad. He could barely look after himself, there was no way he was in any way ready to be a father. This was definitely good.

But that disappointment was definitely there. He wondered if it was more to do with him and Meredith than the non-existent baby. If she'd been pregnant, maybe she'd have taken him back there and then. But she wasn't. And that was good. Definitely good.

He took a sip of tea and looked over at her. He really, really wanted something stronger. "Well, that was an crazy half hour." He said, with a small smile. "At least I'm safe from your Dads for a little while longer."

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

"No," she confirmed "and yea..." it was a good thing, she'd felt nothing but relief when the tests had confirmed she wasn't pregnant, she was far too young and she just couldn't handle that. She didn't want to be tied to Mordred by this tiny person before she'd even had a chance to figure things out, it couldn't be that simple, as much as she wanted an easy fix for whatever was happening between them, she knew there couldn't be one.

"I'm sorry," she said genuinely, running a hand through her hair "It must have been a lot to take in... I wish I'd told Vivi about the tests, I just... I was so relieved it slipped my mind... but... I'm really glad you didn't freak out or run away..."

[Mordred Le Fey]

“It’s ok.” He said, his voice sounding hollow. “I get it. No point telling me if it’s all a mistake right.” He didn’t know why he was feeling irritated - he wasn’t irritated with her at all, if anything he was annoyed with Genevieve but he knew that it was an irrational frustration. This was just one of those things, one of those mistakes that had gotten out of hand.

He suddenly registered what she’d said and looked at her, frowning. “Wait, you thought I’d run away? Why would you think that?” He felt suddenly defensive - sure, his previous record didn’t really go in his favour, but did she really think he’d run away from this kind of responsibility? “Meredith, I’ve been trying - you know that right? I haven’t had a drink in weeks, I’m off the pills, I’ve been trying to make things up to people - I’ve been trying to make things up to you. Why would you think I’d run away at this?”

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

"Mordred come on," she sighed, frustrated "It's not like that, I was just... it was just so much, you know? I was just dealing with it as best I could, I know I probably didn't do it right, but I'm sorry okay?"

"It's not you," she said, forcing herself to calm down "I mean, I don't think you specifically would run away, I just thought... well I thought it would be too much... it's good to hear you've been doing better, but I just figured... I mean I probably would have run away from this if it hadn't been, you know, in me. Or if I hadn't thought it was rather. I didn't mean to think badly of you I just had no frame of reference for how you'd react to something this big... and the closest frame of reference I did have..." she winced, she hadn't meant to bring that up, but his reaction to them sleeping together hadn't exactly screamed responsible adult who dealt with his problems.

[Mordred Le Fey]

He didn’t respond to her apology, instead sitting stony faced, staring into his tea. It was all just too much to deal with, and he was focusing on willing himself not to storm from the room and head into the first bar he came across.

He snapped his head to look at her as she mentioned the frame of reference he had though, his face darkening. “Right, just throw that in my face, of course.” He said angrily, setting his mug aside and standing up, pushing past her to pace in frustration. “How many times do I have to apologise? I explained why I did what I did, I apologised, dammit Meredith.” He ran his hands through his hair in a frantic irritation, an attempt to try and distract himself from the urge he had to punch the wall.

Turning to face her, he scowled at her. “Are you ever going to be able to forgive me for that? Or am I just wasting my time here?” He regretted the question the second it left his mouth, dreading the answer.

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

"Wasting your time?" Meredith repeated "I told you not to do this for me, you need to be doing this for yourself, you can't change yourself for me it's only going to breed resentment. And I know you apologised but I'm not... I just... I would have run away if I was in your shoes, I wouldn't have known how else to deal with it, I'm sorry to throw that at you again but I'm just... I don't know what I'm doing, okay?" Her eyes began to glitter as her voice rose, greenish-gold rapidly overtaking them until they were almost glowing, and her breathe almost looked like it was... steam. Like she was shouting outside on a cold day, not tucked up inside a warm dorm room.

"This is all just too much, I don't-"

The little white curl that had escaped her lips reached the smoke detector in the room and suddenly the alarm started blaring. Meredith looked up in shock, words dying in her throat as the sprinkler system was triggered and she was suddenly showered in water.

[Mordred Le Fey]

He didn't know how to make her see, how to make her understand. He knew he wasn't worth changing for; she kept saying he had to make these changes for himself but what was the point? What was the motivation there? He didn't exactly think highly of himself, there weren't many things in his life he felt were worth working for or changing for, except for her. If he had to change, he needed motivation, and that motivation was her. He could change for her, but not for himself.

He opened his mouth to respond, to argue and fight, his frustration almost at breaking point, when he looked at her, and saw something strange happening. He recognised the change in eye colour, but she didn't look like she was in control of it, and he frowned as he saw the steam leave her mouth, watching it float upwards. He looked back at her, confused, but as he went to speak the sprinklers turned on and soaked them both.

In any other situation, this would have been hilarious. Mordred stood still, blinking as water ran down his face, his clothes soaked through, his hair drenched and plastered to his head as the sprinklers continued to rain down on them. He frowned as he looked at Meredith, reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder.

"Meredith, what was that? What's going on with you?"