Then I Would Know {Tristian, Meredith et al}

[Lorelei Summer-Lac]

Lorelei blinked away spots of darkness, but couldn't quite shake this sluggish feeling. It felt like her muscles had been melted, smeared in this strange sea of fluffy white. Something had been stuck to her right arm, and Lorelei blearily traced it up, seeing a bag of blood dangling above. The continued path ran right down, and she could see the puckered bit where a line pumped new blood into her.

A quick look showed a wrapping around her left arm. First high, and Lorelei could feel stitches. Her wrist had been supported, a splint put about it. A slight shift confirmed that Lorelei's sides had been wrapped, wrapped tight enough that she couldn't even properly move.

The duel... she'd dueled, and she'd... well, by the rules she'd set she'd lost, but by the reality... she looked up. There, sitting, standing, waiting by, were family and friends. Lorelei smiled shakily, raising her good hand and waving it. "I'm awake now?" she tried, noting the quiver in her voice, nearly making her wince at the noise.

Tristian
Meredith Emrys-Pendragon

[Tristian]

Tristian had been sitting in one of the chairs beside the bed, Meredith in the other. Jesse had come by for a bit but had since headed back to his dorm after the nurses started getting a little freaked out by his enquiries about medicine. However, he had left behind a flower for Lorelei that would make her feel better…it was a Venus Fly Trap. Tristian on the other hand had brought tea, and every half hour or so had made a fresh pot for himself and Meredith and had made sure that there was enough for Lorelei when she woke up.

It had kept him busy; it had kept the worry from rising to the surface. The doctors had told him she would be ok, that she had been lucky but he wouldn’t be happy until he saw her awake, until he had spoken to her. He had thought about calling his mother, their mother, but had decided against it. The chances were, whatever spies she kept here in Tintagel and Trenale had already alerted her to the fact. He thought about calling her dad but…he would rather he spoke to Lorelei first before he did anything like that.

And then there was Mordred. He tried not to think about that right now. Aiden would keep him updated on that front. He hoped that Aiden would take care of him. He tried not to feel a jealous pang at that. He had to be here with Lorelei, she was family and he cared about her…but that didn’t stop him from wanting to be at Mordred’s side either…and it should, it really should, he had stabbed his sister for goodness sake.

Not for the first time, he wished there was some spell that could take these feeling away.

However as the night had worn on, he had gradually fallen into a restless sleep himself, lying back in the chair with his legs resting on the bars of the hospital bed, the book he was reading resting on his chest. At Lorelei’s words he was startled awake, sitting up straight on the chair and dropping his feet to the floor.

“Hey,” he said softly, “how are you feeling?”

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

Meredith had drifted off in her chair a long time ago, the whole day had been an exhausting onslaught of emotion and she just plain hadn't been able to deal with it. She'd focused as much as she could on literally anything that was around rather than actually stop and think about her feelings, but somewhere around her fifteenth cup of tea she'd given up the avoidance and the busy work and just curled up in the chair and fallen into a fitful sleep plagued by nightmares about how things could have gone, or visions where Mordred mocked her for being sad that Lorelei was hurt, or, maybe even worse, Mordred's tortured face when he realised what he'd done, and knowing that she didn't know how or when she'd be able to forgive him, even though there was a part of her that ached desperately to do so.

When Lorelei spoke, she thought for a second it was part of her dream, but the thump of Tristian's feet onto the floor and his voice roused her enough for her to blearily open her eyes and straighten up, moving slowly to ease out the stiffness from falling asleep in such an odd position.

"Hey," she said as well, voice rough from both sleep and crying "yea, that," she added, tilting her head in Tristian's direction to indicate a seconding of his question, a wry smile managing to cross her face for a moment.

[Lorelei Summer-Lac]

Lorelei could see both of them standing over her: her older brother, her best friend, both of whom had been right there when she'd done what was either the most brilliant or the most idiotic thing she'd done in her entire life. Just looking at them made her feel simultaneously thrilled to her core and utterly disappointed in herself and her life.

"You know the points in all the stories when the hero just did something that everyone knows is really dumb but also thinks might have been really brilliant and they're waking up somehow knowing that they've just hit the midpoint of the story and the harder part's ahead?" asked Lorelei, again spewing out words in one giant blob, despite her voice being croaky, almost inaudible. She shifted her left hand, realizing she could barely move it. "Pretty sure I haven't hurt like this in... ever," she admitted, feeling eyes watering again.

She paused, looking up at the other two. "How's.... everyone?" she looked around, noting the venus fly trap. "Guess Jesse's been here..."

[Tristian]

Tristian could not help but smile as Lorelei started to go into her speech about the hero and stories or what not, but there was a part of him that worried a little. Was that what made her do this? Those stories of heroes and what not, from books and shows? It concerned him, life wasn’t like that, it was far more dangerous and far more cruel than what she was describing. However now was not the time to make her aware of that fact…in fact, he appreciated her naivety of how the world worked, just a little…it just seemed so innocent…

“I imagine you haven’t,” he said reaching forward with his free hand and sorting the pillow behind her so she could be a little more comfortable, “then again, that’s what happens when you get yourself into duels.”

He nodded when she said that Jesse had been by, “he said he was going to see if he could get you a book on how to take care of them…or another one…I’m not sure, I stopped paying attention after he mentioned potentially getting you a jar of flies so that you could feed it.”

Tristian looked down at her and frowned slightly and softly said, “Lorelei…what were you thinking? Why did you challenge him?"

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

"How do you know this isn't the bit of the story where the hero has made a miraculous recovery and they're rested up in hospital ready to heal because the story's ending and they get to live happily ever after," Meredith pointed out gently, she didn't think this was any part of a story, this was real life, they didn't get neat little narrative arcs the way the movies did, they just kept going.

She wanted to keep the conversation light, make a few jokes and talk about Jesse and his weird presents and ask stupid philosophical questions about movies and life and... and not talk about Mordred. It couldn't last, she knew, but she couldn't help but wish it had. When Tristian asked her smile faded, and she had to admit she wanted to know as well.

[Lorelei Summer-Lac]

As Tristian moved forward to fluff, Lorelei leaned up to let him. She gave him a grateful smile, even as the movement caused her to wince (the moving up, not the actual smiling). Her gaze flicked to the fly-trap.

"I think I've actually read--" she began, only to pause at Tristian's next question. She looked up at him, then over at Meredith. Meredith had been talking about arcs and questioning Lorelei's call (like Lorelei couldn't read a narrative moment; it was what she did, like, seriously). Something in that faded smile, the heavy eyes, it made Lorelei shift. She looked away, not really toward anything but the wall, and was uncharacteristically silent for several long seconds.

"Does it really matter why?" she asked, looking up at them. "I mean, it kind of already happened, right? I slashed him on the face; he stabbed me a few times, broke some bones," Lorelei tried shrugging, only to wince. Yeah, moving hurt, and she was already close to choking back tears. She wasn't sure she wanted them to know her reasons, even if she thought they were perfectly good. They were her reasons, after all, not theirs...

[Tristian]

Tristian turned to make a fresh pot of tea as Lorelei spoke.

He had the same belief as his mother; Tea would solve everything and had the power to smooth out any situation. He knew this was maybe not the best thing to bring up in front of Meredith, after all, it involved bringing up the very last person he imagined she wanted to hear about. But this discussion needed to happen.

“It matters because I hope that you never feel you have to do it again,” said Tristian as he set the little travel kettle to boil, “it matters because next time Meredith and I might not be there to help you. It matters because I do not want to see you get hurt again.”

Turning to look her in the eye he said, “You did good out there…I mean, you probably shouldn’t have stopped when you got your first hit in but…you did good…however duels are always a last resort. You’re a Summer Lorelei; we use our words, not our fists.”

It was inevitable, she was a younger sibling and he always went into ‘wiser older brother’ mode around them.

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

Meredith didn't want to push, didn't want to have this conversation, but it was also obvious that her friend was hiding something, and she didn't want Lorelei to have to carry any kind of burden, not after she'd literally put her life on the line in defense of Meredith, however scary and unnecessary it had been.

"Neither of us want to see you get hurt again," she said softly, and while she agreed with a lot of what Tristian was saying, she also didn't want to lay on the lecturing too thick, not while Lorelei was still injured. Tristian's words would be enough to get the point across.

"I just wish you guys had gone to first blood, then none of this would have happened.." wait, no, Meredith, that's the wrong thing to say "I mean, it would have been better if you hadn't dueled at all, of course, but... you would have won..." nice save. Not.

[Lorelei Summer-Lac]

Lorelei closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, again finding herself nearly trembling. She could hear her brother, his words, and she'd met his gaze for a moment, her eyes fluttering open to look at him, letting him know she definitely heard. Her gaze redirected toward Meredith, seeing the mixed emotions there. Should she just tell them? Should the whole scheme get laid out for someone else?

"Words wouldn't have been enough this time," Lorelei said, pausing to lick her lips. "He wasn't going to listen, and words don't leave these... lasting physical things, you know? A cut, a scar, a wound, that's something you can't ignore. It's, like, right there in front of you," she was getting started, talking as the tears started flowing. "It's not like the wounds he was giving people. Not just Meredith, but other people. Someone hurt Mordred and he was lashing out at everyone and he was going to keep doing it unless..." Lorelei swallowed, raising her good hand up, trying to grind out a few tears. "I had to go third blood. I was sure I could get him once, because he wouldn't expect it, but a quick win wouldn't have solved anything. It wouldn't have had impact. Third gave me a chance to get him somewhere, or a chance for him to get me. I didn't need to win; I needed him to see what he was doing and--" she paused, nearly choking, the tears flowing freely now, "and I knew he wouldn't--wouldn't kill me, not on purpose." The words were coming even faster: "Because if he did then we're all wrong about him, and he's not just hurt and he's not worth saving and he's not--he's not someone who Meredith could love enough to let hurt her; he's not someone that Tristian would feel worth protecting; he's--he'd just be something evil and dark and if he did that, then he'd kill me and... and I'd be gone," she choked, "but Dad would... or Mom... or someone...and he'd be gone, and he couldn't hurt anyone...."

She wanted to curl up and just start crying. The stress, the injuries, the weight of her stupid, idiotic, brilliant plan, it all built up within her. Her breath was coming in short pants, unable to fully catch while she just trembled, moisture leaking along her face, the pain spiking from arm, from gut, twisting up inside her, making it all ache all the more.

[Tristian]

Tristian had turned around to start making the tea when Lorelei started to speak; he could hear the crack in her voice and immediately looked round at her with concern. He shook his head and abandoning the tea for a moment (which just went a long way to proving how important this conversation was) Trisitan gently sat down beside Lorelei, carefully putting his arm around her.

“Oh Lorelei,” he said in as soothing a tone as he could manage, “Mordred is…complicated. He’s…not had an easy life which doesn’t excuse the things he’s done but…puts them in context…don’t worry…I know that there’s someone worthwhile in there. I might be livid with him right now for hurting not one but two of my sisters but…Lorelei…as much as you might have been worried about that, about Meredith and about him…it was not worth putting your life at risk…I know you meant well, I know you wanted to help but…things don’t always work out like the way they do in your stories.”

He reached over to the side table and picked up the book he had been reading, “Here, I picked this up for you in the shop downstairs. It’s one of my favourites and I think you might like it.”

He handed it to her, the title of the front ‘Little Women’. “I was down there buying some chocolate for Meredith and I when I saw it there and well…I remembered how much I liked it because the four sisters in it…they remind me of you lot. Meredith is the reasonable Meg, Genevieve is sweet and caring Beth, Jenny is almost certainly the impetuous Amy and you…well…you’re Joe…creative and courageous, but perhaps a little too caught up in her stories that she forgets to live her life. You should read it…like I said…I think you might like it.”

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

"Oh, Lorelei," Meredith said softly, almost exactly echoing Tristian. She wanted to hug her friend as well, but there wasn't really a lot of room to manoeuvre in the hospital room so instead she just edged up and patted her, somewhat awkwardly, on the leg.

"It was really brave and cool what you did, and pretty noble, to do it because of all that, but you didn't have to... he should be able to figure this stuff out himself, without you getting hurt, and especially without you getting killed." she said seriously, although Tristian had put the whole thing much better - admittedly she still wasn't totally sold on Tristian's unwavering faith in Mordred, everything that had happened still stung quite a lot, but she could appreciate how the words might help Lorelei.

"...Meg better be really cool." she added suspiciously when Tristian handed the book over.

[Lorelei Summer-Lac]

Yeah, Lorelei was still weeping now. Bawling, really, when it came down to it. It didn't help that Tristian and Meredith just kept on being loving, because apparently that was something that happened to nearly everyone who came from Camelot. She wanted to insist that it had so been worth her life, that it was what was necessary at the end of the day, or maybe to argue about it not being all that brave or something, but, well, she was mostly just crying at the moment.

AT least it lapsed into mostly silent crying when Tristian handed over the book. She looked down at it, reading the title, which she actually thought was pretty unimaginative as far as titles went, really. Was the title about a bunch of short girls or something? Super on the nose. She sniffed and listened as Tristian laid it all out for her, and apparently just looped Meredith right in there.

"well, if she's like you, then she must be super cool," Lorelei insisted, sniffing again. She looked up at Meredith. "I love you, you know. Probably like Joe loves Meg, if that's a thing?" she held up the book, then looked to Tristian with a slight smile on her still glistening face.

[Tristian]

As they crying intensified Tristian hugged his sister a little tighter, mindful of her wounds. A crying teenage girl would have made some men run for the hills, however Tristian had enough sisters to know how to handle a few tears, besides, he had an excellent mentor in his mother. With his other free arm he continued to make the tea.

“Oh yes, Meg is really badass,” said Tristian rolling his eyes as he let the tea infuser stew for a bit, “no one can darn a pair of socks quite like Meg…although actually she is fairly cool, she keeps them all together and settled.”

He looked back at Lorelei and said kindly, “Yes, very much so.”

Tristian looked back at Meredith and drawled, “yeah, I suppose you’re alright mudball.”

[Meredith Emrys-Pendragon]

Meredith pulled a face at Tristian when he made his socks comment. Her parents were obsessed with socks, it was like a weird in joke for them that she didn't understand, she was pretty sure Merlin still washed Arthur's socks even though he wasn't a servant anymore, so while sometimes people made little sock jokes to her, she always found them a little annoying - she wasn't the one with the weird fixation. Still, he followed it up by actually saying something nice, so she supposed she could forgive him.

"You're not to bad yourself, priss-tian." she shot back teasingly, before turning her attention back to Lorelei "I love you too, Lor, so you better heal up quick okay?"