How to make friends and influence people (OPEN)

[Jesse]

It was another lovely day in Tintagel.

Jesse took a moment to enjoy the Autumn sunshine, wrapped up in his warm coat and scarf his mother had sent him here with, watching as the orange and red leaves skipped over the grass. He smiled. A nearby woman who had been walking by gave him a strange look and quickly picked up her pace. He stopped smiling and went back to his book.

He had only been here a few days and whilst the extensive library at the school was magnificent, he had yet to speak to anyone except Genevieve. He had attempted to locate other family members but they appeared to be rather busy at the moment and he really did not want to bother them. So instead he went back to his book.

‘How to make friends and influence people’.

It was an interesting read, he only hoped some of the tips in it would actually work, otherwise it was going to be a very lonely time for him here in Tintagel.

[Blossom Snow]

It was another horrible sunny day in Tintagel.

John's roommate had kicked him out of their dorm room, apparently sick of the screeching death metal he'd been playing at full volume - it was making it impossible for him to study or something stupid like that. So armed with his scowl and his trusty lighter, John had headed outside to see if there was a graveyard or something he could hang out in.

He'd made it as far as the park when he'd decided that there would be too many people to deal with to walk all the way into town. He hated people. He hated crowds. He hated sunshine. He looked up at the sky through his long fringe and scowled at the clear blue. He wished it was raining.

He reached a tree near a bench, and noticing the amount of fallen dead leaves he stopped, dropping to his knees and starting to gather the leaves into a pile, lighter out and ready. He wondered if the tree itself would catch fire. That would be cool.

He hadn't even noticed the other boy nearby.

[Jesse]

Jesse, who had continued to read his book, was suddenly alerted the presence of someone else in the vicinity, mostly through the rustling of leaves. He lowered his book in a slow manner, which it had often been remarked to him made him look a little creepy, and looked at the young man in front of him, piling up the leaves.

He watched him with some interest as he piled the leaves on top of each other, for one thing the boy was fairly close yet seemed to be completely unaware that he was there. For another, he seemed so preoccupied with his task in front of him that he had failed to notice the pile of just as crispy and colourful leaves that were behind him.

Jesse consulted the book; ‘One should always seize every opportunity to assist another’.

Jesse nodded to himself and got to his feet, leaving the book on the bench and walked over to where the other leaves were. He scooped some of them up and then crossed to the boy with the lighter and smiling, held the leaves out to him.

[Blossom Snow]

The pile looked good - small but a start. And there were enough leaves on the ground, and the weather had been dry enough, that John figured his little fire might spread pretty rapidly, which would be really cool. He ignited his lighter, and was about to hold the flame against the leaves when someone appeared in front of him, and he jumped, dropping the lighter on the ground and forcing it to go out.

John had had his earphones in, blasting Cradle of Filth at full volume, so he hadn't heard the other boy approach. He had been completely oblivious to anyone else, wrapped up in his own tragic world. He scowled up at the other boy, pulling the buds out of his ears.

"Christ, you nearly gave me a heartattack." He mumbled, irritated. Looking up, he saw the leaves being offered to him, and frowned. Taking them off the boy and adding them to his pile, he looked awkwardly up at Jesse.

"Er... thanks?" He picked up his lighter again, ready to set things burning.

[Jesse]

“You’re welcome,” said Jesse cheerily as the boy took the leaves.

He stood there with his hands behind his back, watching as the boy hovered over the pile of leaves with his lighter in his hands. He wondered what the purpose of the task was as he watched him. Perhaps he was attempting to create some kind of new art with these leaves, or maybe he was conducting an experiment, looking to see how long it would take them burn…or perhaps he was just bored. Either way, Jesse was excited to see what the result would be.

Just as he was about to set fire to the pile Jesse said, “do you know that it can take over two years for leaves to decompose naturally? Many places have actually banned the burning of leaves due to the pollution it causes, but many people still practice it today because they hate that annoying crunch sound they make when you step on them. Sorry, am I talking too much? If I am, that’s ok, I can…leave.”

He smiled, hoping the joke would ease the tension.

[Blossom Snow]

John stared at the guy as he started talking, wondering if he was trying to dissuade him from lighting the fire or if he was just talking. He wanted to tell the kid to piss off, but he found himself oddly interested. He did like facts about fire, and illegal fire facts were even better. If leaf-burning was illegal here then that was all the more reason for him to light this fire. It was going to be brilliant.

He continued to stare as the other kid made his joke. His trademark scowl still fixed to his face, John looked at him in silence for a few more minutes, before finally speaking. "That's pretty funny." He said, not sounding remotely amused. He was though. He liked this guy. And that was saying something, because John didn't like anyone.

"I'm John. Wanna help me burn stuff?"

[Jesse]

“Yes please,” said Jesse cheerily.

The boy didn’t want him to go; in fact, he had even indicated that he had found his little quip amusing. Of course, he did not look amused or sound amused, but then why would he say that he thought it was funny if he didn’t think it was funny. Thus, it must be funny. Finally! He was getting the hang of this!

He knelt down on the ground and started to scoop up a few more of the dried leaves that were around them into the pile that John had already made. “We should probably add some dry twigs as well, the problem with leaves is that they will mostly give off smoke, which isn’t as impressive looking as flames, unless you wanted to try doing smoke signals which I suppose you might. I recently read a book on smoke signals, so far I can signal, ‘I am in danger’ and ‘I am currently surrounded by cannibals and they have already eaten my leg, please send help.’”

As he scooped up one of the leaves he noticed something crawling across the ground towards the pile. He grinned and said, “What are you doing out there Terry, you’re going to get yourself in trouble.”

He reached forwards and scooped up the tarantula, “must have slipped out my pocket,” he held the spider out to John, “this is Terry, I’m Jesse.”

…to anyone looking at the spider…it looked like it might have waved one long leg in the same manner that Jesse was now waving at John…

[Blossom Snow]

John nodded, a sullen look still on his face, at Jesse's suggestion. He knew fire, and that always made someone worth knowing in John's book. "I don't do smoke signals." He said shortly, looking around and gathering some twigs to add to his pile. "Flames only." He might have decided he liked Jesse, but John rarely spoke in sentences of more than a few words at a time to anyone, and he wasn't going to start now. He continued to build his fire, adding more kindling as Jesse suggested, but without putting his earphones back in, which was a huge step towards friendship as far as John was concerned.

He glanced down as Jesse scooped to pick something up, looking curiously at the spider in Jesse's hands. He'd never seen a real tarantula before, but he knew they could be dangerous and a lot of people were scared of them, and that made them pretty damn cool in his eyes. He nodded again as Jesse introduced himself and the spider, raising an eyebrow as the spider apparently waved.

"That's pretty cool." He said shortly, looking up at Jesse. "Can I hold him?" He wondered how his dad felt about spiders, wondering if getting one would freak Olaf out. If that was the case, he was definitely going to do it. And maybe a snake too. He made a mental note to ask his Aunt Cal what Olaf's view on snakes and spiders were.

[Jesse]

Jesse could understand that, smoke signals weren’t for everyone but flames were always impressive. He nodded and continued to look around for more of the dry twigs that would make the best kind of fire. “Of course, what would really help is some lighter fluid, if only I had remembered to bring some,” he said with a sigh.

Most people ran away whenever they saw Terry, or backed away from him quickly, usually screaming or shouting and so it lifted Jesse’s spirits to see that John had no such reaction. This was good, he worried that Terry’s feelings were sometimes hurt by people running away from him, the same way Jesse felt when people made excuses to leave conversations with him. If Terry could make friends with John then maybe John would want to make friends with Jesse too.

“Of course!” said Jesse, carefully moving the spider from his own hand across to John’s, “he’s very good with new people. He very rarely bites them.”

[Blossom Snow]

Lighter fluid - now that would have been brilliant. The anarchy he could have caused with lighter fluid! He made a mental note to always carry lighter fluid around in future. Of course, the last time he'd tried to buy some he'd been refused, some stupid under 18 rule and him looking suspicious, but he'd just get his Aunt Cal to get him some. "Next time." He said shortly, glancing up at Jesse and giving a brief nod.

He held his hand out as Jesse passed the spider over to him, having to work extraordinarily hard not to grin as the spider settled on his hand. "Being bitten by a spider would be a cool way to die." He said monosyllabically, watching the spider intently. "It's ok if he bites me."

He looked up at Jesse again. "How would you want to die?" He asked seriously. "If you could choose, I mean."

[Jesse]

Jesse nodded and said, “Whilst painful, it would be quick, and the pain wouldn’t last for long. The body would go into shock and you wouldn’t feel much pain. They say the snake that Cleopatra used was very quick and the pain was only fleeting.”

He considered the other boys question for quite some time. It was worth giving some thought too as it had never been something that he had considered before, although was surely worth bearing in mind. Eventually he said, “I don’t think I should like to be poisoned, it’s not the pain that bothers me you must understand, but one wants to leave a fairly decent looking corpse. That rules out drowning or constriction too, I should hate to be bloated. I think perhaps I would prefer the sword, one strike to the neck and it would all be over. Yes. That would be my preference.”

He held out his hand to take Terry back and asked, “what about you?”

[Blossom Snow]

"Painful but quick. Cool." John nodded, watching the spider. He wondered for a second if his question had freaked Jesse out - most people tended to give John a weird look of mingled fear and concern when he asked that question, and at Jesse's silence John assumed the the other boy was giving him that same look. He didn't understand why people were so weirded out by it, it was a fair question he thought. After all, everybody was going to die at some point, and you got to choose most other big stuff in your life, so why not choose how you want to die? It's not like it was likely to happen that way after all, and John thought it was a fascinating topic. Not many people agreed though.

So he was surprised to see a thoughtful look on Jesse's face when he looked up at him. He watched Jesse with interest when he answered, nodding in agreement as he talked. "Makes sense." He replied, holding the spider out to give back to Jesse. He was definitely going to get a spider. A really, incredibly, dangerously poisonous one to take home and show his dad.

He was ready with his answer straight away. He'd thought about it a lot. "I don't care about leaving a decent looking corpse. The grosser the better, with an open casket to freak the crap out of people." He almost grinned at the thought, but he had gotten pretty good at suppressing any hint of emotion, other than anger and misery. "Drowning would be cool. A huge bloated corpse, that would look gross. Or, like being mauled by an animal, like a bear or something. But the best way to go would be burning to death." There was a light in his eyes as he mentioned burning, one that would terrify most people. "You get to watch the flames as they burn and lick your skin, and then there'd be that gross smell of burning flesh that would get in everyone's noses and on their clothes. And the corpse would be disgusting." He gave a tiny smile. "Yeah. Burning's the way to go."

[Jesse]

Jesse nodded as the boy spoke. If it was his intention to end up in such a manner than he had to agree, fire was the best course of action. Once the boy was finished he offered up a suggestion, “you know, for that extra fiery panache you could always add a little bit of gunpowder, I’ve read in certain books that some people did that in order to give the people a quicker end. Although, a messier one for sure.”

This was going incredibly well; the boy he was speaking with seemed to like Terry and that was definitely a step in the right direction. Not only that but he appeared to be somewhat knowledgeable as well, especially about fire which Jesse had to agree was a fascinating subject. Almost as fascinating as crossbows or poisonous creatures.

“You know, if you like Terry, one we are done here I could take you to the pet store I got him from, you could maybe get one of your own?” he suggested, hoping that he could extend this interaction.

[Blossom Snow]

Raising his eyebrows slightly at Jesse's suggestion, John had to admit to himself that he was impressed. That was an excellent idea - how had he not thought of that? Gunpowder... it was genius. Imagine the mess, the smell, the horror of the people watching, or the people tasked with collecting all the pieces of the blown up body. He nodded slowly, a look in his eyes that could easily be mistaken for psychotic. "Yeah, that's good. I'm going to remember that. Gunpowder..." John was almost getting lost in his imaginings, his mind drifting as he glanced back down at his unlit leaf pile and kindling. First lighter fluid, now gunpowder - this kid was a genius. John wondered if he could convince Cal to get him some gunpowder to pay with.

Jesse was talking again, and John forced himself out of his daydreams of explosions and fiery chaos and back to the present. He looked up at Jesse and thought for a second - his own spider? It was definitely tempting - it would freak people out, his dad would hate it. He could play pranks on his aunts and let the thing loose on them. He'd never actually had to look after anything living before though... but he figured a spider couldn't be that hard.

He nodded, his deadpan face as close to showing a happy emotion as it was possible for it to get - which, basically, meant he showed no emotion whatsoever. But inside, he was excited. "Yeah, cool. I'm gonna get the most poisonous one they have. Or the biggest. Which one do you think is the most likely to scare the crap out of people?"

He started to stand to leave, when he remembered why he'd been there in the first place. "Oh, hang on." Leaning down, he ignited his lighter and held it close to the bottom of the leaf pile, sheltering the flame with his other hand until it caught. A couple of gentle blows, and the flames grew, his little pile a nicely crackling fire in no time. Standing up, he watched it with an oddly intense expression for a few minutes, before speaking to Jesse without looking away from the fire.

"Ok, we can go now."

[Jesse]

Jesse thought about it for a moment and said, “well if you got the biggest then that would be most obvious and instantly recognisable as being…well…big. However size is not indicative of danger, a common misconception, it is actually the smaller spiders that pose the most danger. So in theory a poisonous spider should scare the poop the more, however if you are looking for instant poopage then yes, definitely go with size as it will require less explanation.”

He turned to watch as John lit up the leaves…and then the tree. He nodded his satisfaction at the impressive flames in front of him. It was truly marvellous. John did good work.

“The dry branches must have assisted the expansion of the flames,” he said pointing to them, “you chose your position well.”

Jesse nodded and started to lead the way to the pet shop, glad for the company of his new friend…texting the emergency services just in case the fire spread…after all, who knew what bugs might be destroyed in it...and those little bugs needed to be protected.