Something to Be (Dusty)

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Nikolay blinked a couple of times at her outburst before he started laughing. “He’s teaching you how to dance?! Is he any good at it in the first place?!” he said smiling, “let me get this straight, my brother is teaching you, his girlfriend how to dance?!... How are you doing this?”

That settled it, this had to be genuine. He couldn’t believe this, his brother had shown no signs of change when they had met and yet now, talking to this girl, it seemed that he had changed a great deal. He had misjudged him, his brother had to have been pretending with him, playing up for his little brother just to make sure he knew who was the superior. It was good, it was a good change, he was decided that it must be for real, even if it meant that he had to take the verbal and sometimes physical hits, he would take it for his brothers improvement.

Reaching forwards he took her hand in his and said, very sincerely, “I don’t know what it is you’ve done to him, but thank you. I’ve been so worried for so long but…thank you…you are truly a marvel mademoiselle Dusty.”

He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, “Thank you.”

[Dusty Fae]

Dusty didn’t understand what were so funny. Nikolay kept laughin’ at ‘er and she didn’t know why. She’d only said that Arkady were teachin’ ‘er how ta dance. And it were true. She couldn’t dance, so someone had ta teach ‘er. And that was what Arkady were doin’. It weren’t somethin’ completely mystifyin’ or anythin’ like that. He were just teachin’ ‘er how ta dance. She were entirely bewildered.

“I just told ‘im that I cain’t dance and ‘e offered ta teach me,” she told Nikolay a bit bewildered. “I don’t understand. Did ‘e never teach a girl how ta dance before? Why are you laughin’?” She were more confused than ever. Maybe she just weren’t used ta people actually takin’ an in’erest in talkin’ to ‘er. It weren’t normal fer her. Maybe that were why she had no idea what to do or say to Nikolay. She hadn’t meant ta be funny. She weren’t a very funny person. Maybe she were just addle-brained and didn’t know it. That would make a lot more sense.

This just weren’t makin’ sense. Why were Nikolay worryin’ ‘bout Arkady? She hadn’t done anythin’ to Arkady. He’d done a lot fer her, but hadn’t done anythin’ fer him, or to ‘im. Well she didn’t think she had. She were so confused that she hardly noticed when ‘e kissed ‘er cheek. She only looked at ‘im entirely confused. “Nikolay, I don’t understand. What’re you talkin’ ‘bout? I didn’t do nothin’. Honest.”

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“It’s just, its… he was so different back home, the guy you’re describing to me…my brother isn’t like that, he doesn’t do things like that,” said Nikolay deciding that honesty was the best policy in this situation, “I don’t want to put my brother down, especially not in front of his girlfriend, but he was a different person a…very complicated person."

It was difficult phrasing it in a way where Dusty wouldn’t be put off or become defensive. This was a good thing, she just needed to convey that without making Arkady sound like a bad person...even if he was. This wasn’t going to be the easiest of tasks.

“My brother and I, we’ve never seen eye to eye, we’re always fighting,” he said still looking her in the eye, “he argued with anyone really, our sister, our parents…but seeing him here, seeing the way you speak about him…he’s changed. My brother would never teach anyone how to dance, not voluntarily, not without getting something in return…you’ve changed him…for the better.”

[Dusty Fae]

Dusty listened quietly while Nikolay spoke and he had an awful lot ta say. And he seemed earnest and truthful, so there weren’t any reason that she shouldn’t believe ‘im. But she just couldn’t imagine Arkady bein’ diff’rent then he was. She knew people changed, but it couldn’t be her that changed ‘im. No, not her. She weren’t even very special. She were just a little Western girl tryin’ ta do somethin’ good fer herself.

And she didn’t doubt Nikolay. He were honest, she could tell. Granted, when ya spent as much time around a saloon as she did you got a feelin’ ‘bout who were honest and genuine. And Nikolay seemed like he were. She sorta felt like there were things ‘bout Arkady she didn’t know but that were pretty normal. It were rude ta ask ‘bout someone’s hist’ry where she were from, so o’ course she’d never asked and he’d never said anythin’ ‘bout it neither. It made ‘er wonder ‘bout ‘is past and who he’d been ‘fore ‘e came here. Arkady were a real mystery.

She shook ‘er head, more confounded’n ever now. “No, it couldn’ta been me,” she said, real unsure. “I mean, I barely know Arkady. It couldn’t be me. I ain’t anythin’ special. I cain’t change people. I’m just…” she trailed off, tryin’ ta find the right word or words. But she couldn’t. “It weren’t me. People wouldn’t change ‘cause o’ me. Arkady might be diff’rent, but it weren’t my doin’.” And she firmly believed that.

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“Of course you have no idea what he was like back home, having only met him here, but you can take my word Mademoiselle Dusty, the change in my brother is great and I can attribute only to yourself,” he said still smiling his awkward smile quite happily.

He couldn’t wait to write home and tell their mother, to tell him of the lovely girl that Arkady had met. This was good, this was a future, finally his brother was growing up a little and he could move on and get on with his life. Maybe in time he would come to respect his parents, his family and make right what he did wrong in the path. This was good, this was very good. So the Arkady he had been speaking too earlier, had been the act, the front, his slipping into his old ways purely for his brothers benefit. Well then maybe for once Nikolay was the bad influence, the reminder of the man Arkady used to be, maybe it would be better if he gave his brother distance…simply…watched from afar. Yes that sounded right.

“I know you must not think it yourself…but trust me, he see’s something special in you, I don’t see why he wouldn’t,” said Nikolay looking her in the eyes and speaking very seriously, “you are a very pretty girl and from what I can tell a charming and nice one at that. You don’t seem too…well…to judge people. People like my brother and I. And that’s good.”

[Dusty Fae]

Dusty were real sure that she hadn’t changed Arkady. If’n ‘e changed like Nikolay said, well it weren’t her. There were no way. She were just a nobody. She were lucky she even had a boyfriend atall. It had just sorta happened. It were wonderful, but real unexpected. Dusty’d never really had friends ‘er own age, so ta have a boyfriend, well that were practically a miracle.

Nikolay were Arkady’s brother, so he knem ‘im better, but she weren’t sure he were right. As nice as Nikolay were bein’, she weren’t special and Arkady wouldn’t think so either. She couldn’t be. She’d never been anyone special. She weren’t startin’ now. She didn’t mind not bein’ special. It was just somethin’ she weren’t.

“I ain’t all that,” she told ‘im awful quietly. The she shrugged. “I cain’t judge much. I don’t come from much and I know better’n judgin’ people straight away. ‘Sides, it ain’t my place.” She looked down and scuffed ‘er boot in the grass. She hated talkin’ ‘bout ‘erself and givin’ clues ‘bout what she were. She were afraid that people would judge ‘er again. She didn’t want that. Not atall.

“I’m real glad to have met you, Nikolay,” she said abruptly, lookin’ up again. “Arkady ain’t told me much ‘bout yer family, but they sound real nice. And we can be friends now too. I ain’t just Arkady’s girlfriend anymore. And you ain’t just Arkady’s brother. We’re Dusty and Nikolay and we’re friends.”

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He liked the sound of that for more than one reason. It was always good to make friends, especially since the only other person he knew right now was his brother and they didn’t exactly want to spend that much time together. Considering the two of them were sharing at the moment it was probably a very good thing that the two of them got along. The other reason it was a good thing, was that it would be easier to keep an eye on him without needing to get that close. Dusty would tell him all about his brother and through her, so long as they were friends, he could always know what his brother was up too.

“I agree,” he said smiling a little and holding out his hand to her, “friends.”

The smile turned into a slight grimace when one of his previous thoughts came back to haunt him and he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Arkady isn’t going to like this though. He gets very…possessive of,” things, objects, anything that he deems belonging to him, “his friends.”

[Dusty Fae]

Dusty smiled back at Nikolay and took ‘is hand. It were official now. They were friends. Real friends. Honest to goodness friends. It made Dusty feel a little giddy and giggly. She never really thought she’d have friends, so this were a real nice feelin’. She were happy.

But then the smile fell and she looked worried instead. Arkady were possessive? She weren’t sure what that would mean. Would he not want her to be friends with Nikolay? That weren’t really fair, if’n she were honest. She really wanted ta be friends with Nikolay, but she didn’t wanna upset Arkady.

She didn’t know what ta do. She’d probably have ta talk ta Arkady ‘bout the whole situation, but she couldn’t just say that she knew he might be possessive of ‘er. “I s’pose I’ll have ta talk to ‘im ‘bout it,” she said, still a bit unsure. She weren’t real sure what Arkady might do or say.

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“No,” said Nikolay hurriedly and holding up his other free hand that was still holding her other one, “No, I uh…that might not be the best idea…I’ll talk to him. He uh, he can get a bit…stroppy sometimes and, I always know how to get him out of them. I wouldn’t want him to be stroppy with you, even if he didn’t actually mean to be. Arkady sometimes takes things out on people that don’t deserve it.”

He hoped he didn’t sound too worried or panicked, and came off as casual, he doubted it however. When it came to his brother he worried about anyone that was pulled in to his destructive nature, and despite the fact he truly believed this girl had changed him, there was still that angry teenager underneath. Some things never change.

“Not that he does it often,” just any day that ended in a ‘Y’ , “just you know…when he’s really angry, not that I think he’ll be really angry about this,” he will, “Just…I don’t want to go upsetting anything between you two.”

Nikolay looked down at the hand he was still holding and quickly dropped it. Yeah. He didn’t want to upset anything.

[Dusty Fae]

Nikolay were lookin’ worried. He were actin’ worried too. And by gum, he sure sounded worried. And if’n they fought all the time like ‘e said they did, then he might be worried ‘cause o’ that. But she didn’t wanna cause a ruckus, honest. She just wanted ta be friends with Nikolay.

She weren’t even sure what stroppy meant. Were that even a real word? She s’posed it didn’t really matter too much. She didn’t wanna get Arkady angry. She really didn’t want ‘im to be angry at her neither. But she didn’t want ‘im fightin’ with Nikolay neither.

“Maybe I oughtta talk to ‘im,” she told Nikolay. “I wouldn’t want ‘im upset at you either. I wouldn’t want yah ta fight. There ain’t no use in fightin’. I’m sure I could get Arkady ta come ‘round if’n I explain things all logical like. Then there won’t be any fightin’.” Well, she weren’t too sure if’n she were gonna prevent any fightin’ from happenin’. And she weren’t too sure that she could stop Arkady from bein’ angry at ‘er, but she could try.

“Please, Nikolay, I’d feel downright awful if’n yah both fought. Let me talk to ‘im. I’m ‘is girlfriend after all. I’m sure I can work it out.” She nodded once, tryin’ ta look a little more confident than she felt. She really just didn’t want Arkady ta be mad at ‘er.

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“No!” he said, pleading with her, grabbing her hands again, “No please, it’s not worth the upset it would cause you. Arkady and I, we’ve never really got along, we’re just…too different. If you talk to him then he’ll think I tried to…oh I don’t know, turn you against him or something.”
 
Nikolay stepped a little closer to her, not realising that if Arkady were to happen across the two of them now, he would most definitely get the wrong idea. But he wasn’t thinking straight, he was worried that he was going to make things worse for this lovely young girl and he couldn’t allow that. His brother didn’t know, could never know, the things that he had done in the past few years, things he had done to help his family. And now, when it looked like his brother was finally getting a good chance, when something truly good was happening to him…he didn’t want to mess that up, he couldn’t. As they say though, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and the position he now found himself in…was very compromising.
 
“Arkady doesn’t understand logic, and even coming from such a nice person as yourself, he still wouldn’t understand it,” said Nikolay, “all he would see is the two of us talking and getting along…and…he would be jealous. I think…maybe it’s best if we just…kept this an secret.”

[Dusty Fae]

The more Dusty talked with Nikolay the less she liked the sound o’ things. Nikolay were nice and all, but he were all worked up about this. She weren’t sure what ta do. Arkady’d never acted like what Nikolay were sayin’, but they hadn’t been datin’ fer very long. Maybe he did. Maybe he would be jealous. She didn’t know. Back home, men were jealous ‘bout next ta nothin’ sometimes.

But keepin’ secrets from Arkady sounded like an even worse idea. If’n he were gonna be jealous that they were friends, bein’ secret friends would be even worse. Dusty could keep a secret. She knew how ta keep a secret, but sometimes other people couldn’t. And if somehow Arkady found out then he’d think that somethin’ else were goin’ on instead o’ what really was. She’d seen it happen before, ‘cept it usually really were somethin’ else goin’ on. And then there were all kinds o’ chaos and yellin’. It weren’t real pretty.

Dusty shook ‘er head. “No, it cain’t be a secret. It cain’t. I ain’t gonna lie ta Arkady ‘bout this. I hate lyin’ and I ain’t good at it. ‘Sides, if’n he found out anyhow it’d be worse. I’ve seen it happen afore. It don’t turn out well.” She took a deep breath. “It’ll be alright. I’ll talk to ‘im and he’ll come ‘round.”

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Thinking about, he supposed she was right, if he found out later down the line then he probably would get even more mad than he would be right now. “You’re right,” he said conceding to her arguments, “It was a stupid thing to even suggest, I’m really sorry. I just…worry, far too much.” he laughed a little, “it’s funny because if Arkady was here he would be mocking me for getting so tightly wound…not that he…mocks people, or me…often…well he mocks me, you know in a brotherly way.”

It was far from a brotherly way but he wasn’t going to mention that to her. Despite the fact he still wasn’t too sure why his good for nothing brother was dating this sweet young girl, didn’t mean he was going to talk down about him…much…yeah…

He looked at his watch and said, “…oh S*** is that the time?! I better run, I’ve got work in half an hour. But look, it was really nice speaking with you Miss Dusty, but I better get going.”

He held out his hand for her to shake.

[Dusty Fae]

Dusty still weren’t sure what ta think ‘bout this whole situation. She were awful glad that Nikolay were agreein’ with ‘er. She wouldn’t wanna lie to Arkady and she wouldn’t, but she’d she’d sure feel funny if’n Nikolay still wanted ta lie ‘bout ever’thin’. And she didn’t really know what ta make o’ all the backpedalin’. He was makin’ a effort not to talk bad ‘bout Arkady in front o’ her anyhow. She appreciated the effort.

She were a bit surprised when he swore in fronta her. She’d heard all kinds o’ cussin’ in the school here, which she didn’t so much mostly ‘cause it weren’t directed at her. Plus, she’d heard all kinds o’ cussin’ back home in and around the Saloon when men didn’t think she were in earshot. But most men were gentlemen through and though and didn’t cuss in front of a lady. But maybe things were different here when it came ta cussin’. A lot o’ things were diff’rent here.

But she shook his hand with a smile. “I’m awful glad ta meet yah, Nikolay,” she told ‘im. She really did mean that too. “I’m sure we’ll meet again real soon.”

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Shaking her hand he smiled and nodded.

 

“Oh I’m sure we will,” he said hoping that the next time they met she didn’t happen to have Arkady with her, “I’ll make sure of it.”

Letting go of her hand he turned away from her and began to run back to the Academy. He had work to get too and it was the kind of work you didn’t want to be late for. At this rate he wouldn’t be much use, especially if he ran all the way back and then all the way down to the docks, but better to turn up and be useless than not turn up at all. He had learned that much.

He really did hope he met Dusty again, although he had made the decision not to tell Arkady that they had already met, in fact, he wasn’t going to bring her up at all. He was going to wait and see if he would introduce her to him first, or if he would tell her a little more about the girl. He was keeping a lot of secrets from his brother at the moment.

A lot.