I Don't Believe in Fairytales [Arthur]

[Deleted]

Today was the day. Actually, it was a lot more than that. It was the day Brianna wanted to set things straight, knock them into reality rather than fantasy. For quote a bit now, Brianna had been thinking things over, but today she was sure. Ever since she'd been secretly seeing Humperdinck (don't even ask), she's been changing, and for the better, too. For once in her life, Brianna let her guard down and actually let her mind wander. She sat down and thought about what she really wanted to gain with this charade she was intent on keeping up.

Revenge? Murder? She would certainly be imprisoned for such a crime in Camelot, no matter who did what. There was never any justice when it came to these sort of things, but in Brianna's mind? She clearly didn't care about prison, or even death. Repay death for death, isn't that right? Wasn't that was she'd been taught? Who now, made her think that the rules changed up for her? Delusional as she might have been and still was, Brianna was tired of being someone she just wasn't. She was tired and emotionally exhausted of everything and everyone she came into contact with, believing that she was a boy.

Was there a point in cutting her hair every so often to keep up with her male act? Dressing in loose clothing meant for a boy, so nobody would question her? Even acting rough and tough like any other boy would? All for what? What was Brianna trying to prove? Was it for everyone else or for herself? Ah, but once she got past her delusions, her dreams, bloody as they might be, Brianna was just a girl. A girl who wanted honor and who had a proud heart. Pride had gotten in the way of her initial reasons behind her original act of revenge, and Tintagel certainly hadn't helped. It merely made her stronger and most likely to clam up when asked something. And she had never been that way. Not once in her life. It wasn't who Brianna was, and it was making her sick.

So, although the bar was set high, Brianna didn't want to lie anymore. And despite the fact that she hadn't even met the prince whose life she was dedicating hers to, she didn't want to start off on the wrong foot with him. She didn't want him to not be able to trust her. Because no matter what anyone said, Brianna well knew that of all the squires who were still training, she was the best swordsman (swordswoman?), and it wasn't even her pride talking. She was the most dedicated, the most serious, the most up to anything at any time of the day or night. She lacked anything but honor and loyalty, and was quite possibly the most chivalrous of all of the boys. She deserved to be knighted when the time came. But she wasn't going to achieve that by lying her way to it. Stooping down to that level just...She couldn't. Not anymore.

So, Brianna did what anyone else would do. Find out where Arthur lived and go knocking at his door. Later in the evening. Because she was totally not nervous and had been pondering about what to say the entire day. This was ridiculous. She was Brianna of Tyndale. She didn't get nervous. Well, maybe she did when she meets the prince face-to-face for the first time, but even then. She was becoming too girly. And it was sucking.

[Arthur]

Arthur, at that point in time, was extremely busy. Or at least in his mind he was extremely busy. He was currently negotiating a rather tricky level of his current game he had on the go on the Xbox and it was driving him insane. As he heard the knock he threw the game controller to the side and shouted, “You see!! You see this is why you’re not Batman! This is why you’re just Nightwing! Stupid! LAME NIGHTWING!”

Sighing he stood up and headed towards the door, hurrying a little one the thought crossed his mind that perhaps it was Gandalf back for another rallying talk. It would be good to see the wizard again, not just because it sent his inner lord of the rings fan boy into hyper drive but because the man really was totally awesome. Then again, it could be Merlin, in which case he started running towards the door flung it open and saw…

…a young man.

He blinked a couple of times before folding his arms in front of him and said, “Hello…can I help you?”

[Deleted]

Brianna pulled the long light robe that she had over her clothing closer to her chin. Underneath, she was dressed in a pair of tan leggings with boots and a top that was tighter, perfectly fitted on her own skin rather than in "Brian's." Once Arthur opened the door, she wasn't exactly sure how to start the conversation. It was slightly awkward that this was not being properly done in Camelot, but at Tintagel, but it had to be done either way.

Clearing her throat, she started by saying, "Hello, Arthur. Um, you don't...know me yet, but...I am here from Camelot, training as a squire to be one of your knights. Specifically one of yours, actually." Sure, sure, Brianna, keep things awkward. Arthur will definitely try to understand you then. Bree cleared her throat again and looked behind him. "Do you think...I can come in for a little bit? I have something important I need to tell you." Despite the fact that they were strangers. For now. Well, she was to him. Maybe. Who knows? Maybe he vaguely recognized her from his courts, among the many faces waiting on Arthur to help him.

All she knew was that she was not going to ass-kiss him. Brianna didn't do that, and she certainly did not lower herself to that position. Figuratively. "Let me explain to you who I am. I am Squire Brian of Tyndale. My parents are both simple folk, farmers, although I am of noble lineage. My father used to co-own a piece of land along with a man named Burton. Burton was trusted up until the day he cheated my father, and we lost everything we had." Should she dare tell Arthur what her primary reason for becoming a knight was? It was best she stick to the truth. "More than anything, I wanted to avenge Burton for what he did, him an his cowardly wife. So, I decided to become a knight. I went through it all, fairly and honorably, a page, and now a squire. And I await for the day that I am knighted."

"But lately, I've been rethinking things. I don't know if the honor and glory one gets from becoming a knight will uphold its honor after murder. Pure, evil murder." Brianna took a deep breath. She gritted her teeth, and clenched her fist, then released. She should stay calm. "I want to become a knight...more than anything in the world, but I don't want to continue lying my way to it." Here goes nothing... "I thought that before anything happens, I would tell you this, from an honest heart, a loyal one for your sake. I...I am not Brian. My name is Brianna. And...I am definitely not a boy, but a girl."

[Arthur]

The face was familiar, at least a little, enough for Arthur to agree to let the young squire in to discuss whatever it was he wanted to discuss further. Closing the door he had that horrible feeling that he had just made a terrible mistake. This could be a ‘fan’, he’d dealt with them before and that had ended badly. Kayley, she had been mental, at one point she was actually convinced he had been in love with her, he couldn’t remember the specifics but he was pretty sure that was the result of a cupids arrow and not anything to do with completely losing his mind. Fans were nice, from afar, but he was never going to date one again and he probably shouldn’t be letting one into his home.

As the boy continued though it seemed he was less of a fan and more of a…well…a subject. There were fans and then there were people who just wanted something from you, unfortunately this particular person appeared to be from the ‘wants something’ part. There was an internal sigh of relief that they weren’t a crazy fan but it was amazing how quickly he switched to ‘no nonsense’ Prince mode and listened to the young boys story.

Another young man wanting to become a knight, he had heard this story a thousand times and the details were only ever slightly different. In the end, they all wanted to fight for Camelot. If this young man was, as he said, already in training, why would he be coming to Arthur? He wanted to continue it honourably?

Was he not of noble birth, had he faked his records? That was a common one, and one he may be able to help him with and-

…which is when ‘young man’ threw him a curveball and revealed that he was actually a she.

Well.

Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose he said, “Doesn’t anyone just stay the same gender in this place?”

Looking up at Brianna he then motioned to one of the sofas in the living room and said, “Please my lady, have a seat, and we can discuss this further. I am extremely intrigued as to how you have gone for so long without being detected.”

[Deleted]

The only person beside Arthur now, who knew about Brianna's secret was Humperdinck. Yes, that Humperdinck. Of Florin. And no, he wasn't magicked or enchanted or anything. Neither was she. But somehow they'd become friends, close friends, and he had accidentally found out her secret. Long story, he got mad, she went to him and apologized and they made up. But it was more than just friends, and both knew it. A kiss wasn't friends anymore. It was a little more. Neither really talked about what they were, however, but Brianna was secretly wishing they would. The thought terrified her, though. She hadn't ever wanted anything more than friends.

But that's all beside the point. The point is that Arthur now knew. It should totally be against Brianna's code for being a knight, that whatever she did, Arthur should not find out. She pretty much begged him to listen to her. And he had no choice, because she practically threw herself at his feet to hear her out. IT needed to get off her chest, and now it was. He could clearly see that she was a girl, she wasn't disguising her voice at all, and her hair was growing.

Did he just ask...? This confused Brianna a bit. "I beg your pardon?" Should she have added 'sire' to that? Was it different at Tintagel? Did the same rules apply as the ones in Camelot? She wasn't sure. And so, decided to brush it off. If he asked for respect, then she'd give it wholeheartedly. For now, he was just Arthur. Fine, Prince Arthur.

Brianna was hesitant to sit down. She'd never actually sat down with any of the royal family, and she hadn't thought she would. Especially not with Arthur. But here he was, inviting her to sit. At last, she nodded and took a seat. "Please, sire," she said quickly. He didn't have to call her "my lady". She was not used to it, nor was she anything special enough to be called that.

So he was interested? Well, this was good. Things were looking hopeful. He didn't look upset at all, at the fact that she broke quite a few rules. Hell, she admitted to conspiring for murder. She should be locked up by now. Instead, Arthur was interested in her disguise. Clearing her throat, Brianna started, "I admitted myself at the age of ten. I became a page and was one for six years. It was easy to hide everything. I was young, and when I got older, I simply was careful. I guess when a girl has boy-short hair, and is fighting like a man out on the battlefield, it isn't as easy to believe she's actually a girl."

...she wasn't ever going to become a knight. Was she.

[Arthur]

“I suppose that is true,” agreeing that if you saw someone helmeted and fighting like a man it would be the obvious assumption, “in any vase you have still done very well to have come this far and been undetected. I also cannot say that this is the first time this has happened, so do not be alarmed if I seem a little calmer than you expected.”

He smiled in what was hopefully a reassuring manner and despite asking her to take a seat, he remained standing. Walking around the room he continued, “Unfortunately, the knights of Camelot do not allow those who are not of noble birth to join their ranks, never mind a woman. This has been the tradition for a long time and as with most traditions they are not easy to break. My father and I have argued this before, about the rule of noble birth, it did not go well, so imagine if I suggest that we allowed a woman to fight.”

Crossing over to the doorway that lead to the kitchen he then paused in his walking and turned back to look at her over his shoulder, a small smile playing on his lips, “However, my future wife has very different ideas about women and fighting, so perhaps it won’t always be that way. She is very stubborn and almost always gets her way.”

Turning round to look at her fully he asked, “would you like a beverage of some kind?”

[Deleted]

Brianna raised her eyebrows at him dubiously. "You've had girls disguise themselves as boys to become knights to kill a couple of people?" she asked, refusing to believe that it's happened before. She was sure that if it had happened, Uther would have had then either banished or hanged. Still, she could help but feel proud that Arthur was praising her for being so sly and sneaky about this. That she'd really had a good cover.

"But I am of noble lineage!" Brianna protested. "My parents may not be noble people, but I have noble blood. I-I can't prove it...But I do." It was the one thing Brianna wanted to make sure she had before daring to embark on such a journey. "My grandfather was of the House of Torrent before my mother ran away from home and married a farmer. I don't have any way to prove it, but I know that I have noble blood in me." She couldn't be cast out now that she'd come so far. Even if she was a woman. She could look like a man.

"Your Highness...please allow me to continue the way I have. I have not been inquired about my nobility just yet, because I was a child when I came to Camelot. I've trained with all of the pages, squires, and have helped dozens of knights. I've fought in a few battles myself. Let me go on the way I have for the past eight years," she begged him. The only thing Brianna wanted now was to simply become a knight. Her desire and hunger for revenge was slowly dissipating and she was starting to not care anymore. It wasn't revenge that was pushing her to continue, but rather, honor.

"Let me be knighted one day, and when I must present my nobility before the king if that time comes, he can do what he likes with me. Just allow me the chance to see the day that I am knighted." Nobody wanted this more than Brianna did. Nobody ever worked as hard as she had. She was the one who always was up for a challenge and not once complained. She deserved to be knighted.

She shook her head, then nodded slowly. "Water, I suppose. I do not drink anything else."

[Arthur]

“Not to kill a couple of people,” amended Arthur quickly, “but dressing as far as gender swapping goes, I’ve known a couple of people that have taken it to the extreme.”
 
It was strange to think that there was a time where he wouldn’t have been able to say that, never mind smile whilst doing so. It had hurt so much to find out the two people he was closest too were deceiving him, and now it was just another funny story in the complication that was their friendship and relationship. In fact, he was somewhat surprised that Brianna hadn’t heard of it, perhaps Gwen wasn’t as high the gossip columns as she thought she was.
 
Of course he didn’t need to follow that up with a further explanation because Brianna was clearly focused on more important things. Arthur listened as she rhymed off her lineage and continued with her pleading to carry on being a knight. He needed time to think, that was the problem, he couldn’t just rush into something like that despite the way he might personally feel.
 
“Water it is,” he said, rather than replying to anything in her speech,, before turning towards the kitchen.
 
As he pulled a couple of glasses out of the cupboard he said, “I have learned that gender has no meaning when it comes to fighting. After all, a mother bear protecting her cubs is far more dangerous than a male protecting his territory. But there are traditions and rules that have been around in Albion for many years, and my father is very traditional. Here in Trenale I may be able to give you further training that would go towards your knighthood, but you would need to remain in this guise of Brian. Not Brianna…unless of course you were to swear fealty to my future wife, she is more than happy to take on female knights.”

[Deleted]

Brianna wanted to argue that it wasn't an extreme. It was, in fact, a very logical way to go about it. If women couldn't become knights, then a woman would dress like a man to become one. But arguing wouldn't help her cause. And she needed the prince to see her side of it, to get him to trust her, before anything happened and Uther would ask for her proof of nobility before being knighted. She needed someone to understand. Levain did, on some level, but even he had been telling her to go about it the truthful way.

Nobody could understand what was really going on inside of her. Even she barely understood. Being a knight meant everything. It meant that she would be someone. Her parents never saw her as anything but a girl who would simply marry someone, preferably nobility, one day, and have a family. And her younger sister barely knew her when she left home. How old had Alexandra been? Hardly two years old when Brianna left? Alexandra would be about ten or eleven now, probably the pride of her parents. Their oldest daughter abandoned them.

If only they knew what their daughter had really intended to do. For her family. But even then, they would never have supported her decisions. She needed to leave to do this. And she was so close. She needed to go through with it.

Nodding at what Arthur was saying, Brianna decided to stand up. She couldn't lay around the couch while the prince of Camelot would be serving her, even if only a glass of water. It was dishonorable. "I understand that there are traditions. Trust me, I do." Was he being serious? He could train her further?That would be...more than she could ever have imagined. "No, of course, I would be continuing as Brian when I return to Camelot. I know how dangerous it could be for me if anyone were to find out I've gone on this way, training to be a knight, but am a woman."

That actually...did not sound like such a bad idea. However, Brianna wanted to be treated as she had been until now. "Perhaps...in the future, I will let everyone of my actions, and will swear fealty to Princess Guinevere. I would be honored to be one of her knights. But for now, I train to be one of yours, sire. I will continue on as Brian, of course." Not that she liked that. She was starting to grow used to being Brianna. But to become a knight, she would hide her gender. Again.

[Arthur]

Arthur was still thinking about the girls request and was so only listening a little as she spoke. He was mulling over his previous words, trying to find a way to help the young woman in front of him. Why couldn’t she train as herself? At least here in Trenale, that had been his father speaking before, that was the thinking of Camelot, not in a place like this, a place like Trenale. Hadn’t he agreed to train the Dragon princess at one time, she did not need to wear a disguise. Hadn’t he agreed to train with Astrid the Viking, a girl, very obviously a girl. And Guinevere…did he not still train with her…well not in recent days but he did.

“Brianna,” he started, “I see no reason for you to continue as Brian, it is dishonest and would be a lie to the rest of the knights here. I have rethought my previous judgement and thought it…inadequate. You shall continue your other training as Brianna. There shall be no more lies here.”

Turning to face her he handed her the glass of water, “However, I shall train you with my other knights, you shall have no special quarter given and be prepared for a whole lot of stupid coming your way from the others that don’t think you can do it, that think they need to protect you when you can handle yourself quite well. Use that ‘sympathy’ and stupidity to your advantage.”

Preparing his own drink he continued, “and be prepared for that whole lot of stupid coming from myself on occasion. I‘m afraid that chivalry was embedded quite deep in to my character, it may take some learning on my part.”

[Deleted]

She hung on his every word, as if they were made of gold. It was still fairly difficult to believe that she was in the living room of none other than the Prince Arthur, talking to him as if he were any other person. He was human, naturally, but she had been training to be one of his knights for nine years now, and hadn't met him face-to-face yet. Not until now. Everything he was saying...Brianna would be sure to memorize. And not in a creepy way either, just...in more of an admiring way. Because she admired him.

Brianna nodded, and kept her head slightly bowed for a few seconds before looking up at him. Arthur was telling her what she had been hoping to hear. She didn't want to lie anymore, it was why she revealed herself to the Prince himself. "Yes, my lord. That is what I had been wanting to do. No more lies." But could he possibly understand why she wanted to become a knight? Why a girl was so intent on becoming a knight? "I will indeed be Brianna, because that is who I truly am."

Taking the glass of water from his hands, Brianna could only take a sip. She was far too anxious to even think of her own thirst. She wanted this sorted out, and as soon as possible, too. Se understood what "stupidity" Arthur was talking about. Having a girl train among the other knights, the men and the brothers of Arthur could be..slightly weird for the others. For Brianna...well, she was used to being amongst the boys. "I do not ask for any special quarter or treatment. I merely ask that I be treated an an equal to any other one of your knights."

Oh, if only the others knew what Brianna could do with a sword in her hand. She was nearly unbeatable. With a little more training, she would be as good as any other knight. As good as Arthur himself if she pushed herself to be quicker. But pride wasn't a very nice characteristic, so Brianna thought it wise to remain humble. "I understand, sire. I am often underestimated, for the mere fact that I am an awfully small boy, therefore, I am used to such behavior from others. I can indeed handle myself."

What would it be like to face Arthur in combat? A simple swordfight so Brianna could determine just how far off she was from Arthur's skills. That would be a dream. "Again, I understand. But I do hope that you put chivalry aside from me and treat me as you would any other one of your men. I am hardly sensitive, and have seen more things that you probably think I have. I've been male for half of my life. Please, do not treat like a woman, sire. I ask for nothing but this. You should understand, when your knights perhaps don't give their best, as to not harm you?" She was sure this happened often. For who wanted to hurt the crowned prince of Camelot?

[Arthur]

“We will use that underestimation to our advantage,” said Arthur turning on the kettle and taking out one of the mugs from the cupboard, “men believe that woman are weak, what they forget is that they can be quicker. The length of time it takes some men to swing a sword, a quicker slighter man, or a woman, could have lunged forward with a knife. They forget things like that.”

To treat her as a man? Shaking his head as he placed the tea bag and sugar into the cup her continued, “No Brianna. I will not forget who you are. You are a woman, and I will train you with the others but that is one thing I will not forget. I believe the problem is that you yourself see your sex as weak. You would be treated like a man instead because you believe they are stronger and given no quarter.”

Turning to face her he said, “I can assure you, my time here in Trenale has taught me otherwise. I will admit to giving in to moments of chivalry, but I know now that being of the fairer sex doesn’t mean that you can’t knock me on my back.”

The kettle began to bubble as he reached down to the fridge and said, “And yes I do know what you mean. However neither thing is something we should disguise simply to get others to fight us. You are a woman, I am a Prince, when it comes to the war, neither thing will matter to us…but it will to others, better to start using that advantage now.”

[Deleted]

Really, the whole praising the fairer gender was quite flattering, especially coming from Prince Arthur. "It's all true, my lord. We tend to...see things quicker than a man would notice at first glance," Brianna agreed, nodding at his example. Perhaps it was why Brianna was one of the most skilled squires in Camelot. She definitely was quicker, swifter, and lighter of foot than a full-grown man was, and could easier dodge a blade without having to jump out of the way. She knew her stunts and her skills could also be derived from talent and much practice, but Brianna thought that was better thought than said.

But once Arthur began to shoot down her plead to be treated like the other knights, like a man of honor, her face fell. She probably should have continued on in disguise. Nobody would be questioning her anything then. But he was also speaking the truth. The truth that Brianna had been trying to avoid, to hide from, ever since the moment she decided to run away to Camelot. And the truth made her feel guilty all over again.

Sighing, Brianna regained her courage to speak again, and glanced up at Arthur. "It is weak! Everyone looks down upon women as though we will simply fall apart if not taken care of by a man! Of course my sex is weak; there are laws against having a woman become a knight, so no woman has ever dared to do such a thing! Men are considered stronger, and far more reliable than women, and though I can see why, I do not believe that it goes for all cases!"

"Showing mercy to a man is considered an insult and is a sign of weakness, whereas showing mercy to a woman is merely an act of chivalry! So, yes, I do see my sex as weak. Which is why I'm changing that." Brianna then realized that she had just let herself explode for a few seconds, at the prince of Camelot. "...sire," she added at the end, hoping that he knew she hadn't meant that sudden outburst. She was indeed agreeing with him, voicing her own opinion. And he should know what she thought, to see what was the best way to go about it with her.

The words he spoke made her believe that he was more for this than anything else. Actually, from the beginning, it didn't seem like Arthur was going to deny her the favor she begged of him. "Arthur," she tried out his name without any title or respectful name before or after it, "I can help a great deal with the war. I've fought in a few battles. Granted, I was never allowed past a certain point, but I fought, nevertheless. I know what it takes. Please, if you will, train me like you suggested, prepare me for a war, and then knight me, so that I can fight alongside you."

She was at his mercy. If he denied her this, she might as well go die. The war was coming, everyone knew this, no one better than those who would fight in the war. But it was coming, and Brianna saw this an an opportunity to be knighted and to finally do herself some justice, gaining glory and winning her chance at honor, in the meantime.

[Arthur]

She wished not to be treated like a woman and as difficult as that may be Arthur believed he could at least attempt that. Whether or not the young girl would like that would be another matter. She said that’s what she wanted but was she really sure? Arthur would never go too far with it but if that’s what she wanted, that was what she was going to get.
 
“You will fight where I tell you to fight Lady Brianna,” said Arthur pushing as much authority into his voice as he could, “and you are Lady Brianna, if you are to be a Knight we shall need to call you something and ‘Sir’ doesn’t really make sense.”
 
Standing up he crossed over to the mantelpiece above the fire and continued, “and as I said Lady Brianna, you will fight where I tell you to fight. If you swear your loyalty to me, if I make you one of my knights then you must accept every order, without question, as is your duty as a Knight of Camelot. So if I tell you that you must stay back with the wounded and help them, you will do it, if I tell you to retreat without other knights and even myself, you will do it, if I tell you to lay down your sword, you, will, do it. Do you understand?”

[Deleted]

As he appeared to be contemplating he requests and her words, and for a moment, Brianna was terrified he would deny her the pleasure of everything she had asked for. Perhaps it was too much. She should not have asked for so much, in return for her mere loyalty. He was going to tell her to get out while he would continue thinking about it, and in the end, she would only end up a plain squire once again. It wasn't fair. Women should be allowed to be knights. One day...Brianna was going to help change that law. One day.

Then, Arthur began speaking. And the more he spoke, the faster Brianna heart raced. With excitement. Because everything he was saying was good. She nodded eagerly as he called her 'Lady Brianna'. It made sense. If she was to be knighted as a girl, she certainly could not be 'Sir Brianna' or even 'Brian'. So maybe she wasn't a fully noble girl, but she was a half-blooded noble, and that had to count for something, right? "Yes, sir. Lady Brianna," she agreed, trying hard not to smile at the title.

His tone was sharp, demanding, but also soft and gentle. Arthur would make a great king one day, something Brianna had known for a long time now. And as he was pretty much reading her a list of things she was to do, Brianna was concentrating hard. This was how it would be from now on, and she was to accept that. No more simple life. From there on, it wouldn't be Squire Brian anymore, but Lady Brianna. She would take his every order, yes. That much, she knew she'd have to do. And during the battle, perhaps she wouldn't agree with him on everything, but had to obey him.

The staying back and the retreating might be a bit difficult to obey, but if she wanted to be a knight, then she would have to. Standing up straight, Brianna gave him a nod. "I understand," Brianna replied. She was about to address him with a title, but then decided against it. She didn't even know what to call him anymore. "I will do what you ask of me, and I do swear my loyalty to you, sire."

Was this it? Was this all it took? Perhaps she should have taken up dueling with Arthur to earn her title. But perhaps, she should be grateful that the war was practically upon them. The coming of the war was what would knight her.