Let's Talk It Over (Gwen & Marian)

[Merlin Emrys]

Merlin had decided enough was enough and it was time for drastic action.
Well, drastic as far as he went, which wasn't all that drastic at all. It was quite small, actually, albeit just a smidge underhand and sneaky, but he just hadn't been sure what the result would have been if he hadn't tried underhand and sneaky.
He was sure his friends would understand.
He hoped.

It was a nice little restaurant, the perfect place for friends to get together and have a chat, a nice little out-of-the-way place with a view of the lake, very peaceful.
He only hoped that would influence the discussion that he intended to take place here.
Arriving with plenty of time to spare, he found himself a seat and waited for his guest to arrive. Or rather, guests.

[Deleted]

Marian was both pleased and apprehensive when she received the invitation from Merlin asking her to supper so they could catch up. Her and Merlin had never been on the outs, even if she had been a bit put out with his involvement in the whole lie, but while she had been far too busy lately to see much of her friend, they had spoken. Things were as they had always been... almost. There was a tension there that hadn’t been before, and both of them seemed very hesitant to mention it.

Gwen.

While they had parted amicably at the reception following the wedding, they had not spoken since. It had been easy to put it out of her mind for a while, with the honeymoon and the new home, the renovations, school and her job, not to mention adjusting to married life as a whole, but recently Gwen had been on her mind a fair amount. The recent article in the Trenale Guardian had made sure of that. She had thought so many times since of contacting the woman who had stood as her maid of honour, but couldn’t quite think of what to say. Perhaps Merlin could help...

Entering the restaurant, Marian approached Merlin’s table, a smile lighting up her face at the sight of him, despite her nerves and the queazy feeling in her stomach. “I am so glad you called.”

[Guinevere]

It was just proof that her loyalty to Merlin went beyond the call of duty. Not that she had a duty to Merlin, but still, he was always so wonderful and caring and helpful that she attempted to do the same. So when her annoyingly loud phone had gone off right beside her ear asking if she would come and meet him at the café she couldn’t help it, she had to go. Saying no to Merlin was bad enough at the best of the times, she couldn’t say no to him right now, for anything. She was still feeling far too guilty.
 
So she had dragged herself out of the bed she had been lying on top of and began to take in her surroundings and came to the conclusion that she was not in her own room. Which was when last night had began to come back to her in flashes. Deciding to deal with the problems in the present rather than the inevitable ones in her future due to her past she first solved the problem of having no new clean clothes to change in to. By accosting a large white shirt from the room she was in and buttoning it a little before tying up the corners in a knot just under her chest, over the tiny white skin tight dress she had been wearing since the night before.
 
She looked down at the shoes beside the bed and due to the pain shooting up her legs this morning decided there was no way she was going to be putting them on again. Lucky for her she had came prepared for the pain and had placed a tiny pair of white flats in her bag that rolled up to conserve space. About ready she headed towards the bedroom door and opened it, letting the sunshine spill in to the room and she quickly retreated from it, slamming the door shut. She rubbed her eyes and headed back in to the room looking at the dresser she saw a pair of black aviator sunglasses and put them on. Before she headed towards the door again another thought occurred to her and she double backed to the bed and prodded the other lump that had been lying on the bed.
 
It groaned.
 
“Give me a lift.”
 
Grumble.
 
“I need to get across town now, and I’m already running late.”
 
Grumble.
 
“It’s Merlin.”
 
“…five minutes.”
 
Fifteen minutes later she was getting out of the car and heading in to the restaurant, not even bothering to put her best smile on because really, she was not in the mood. She had pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail allowing some of it to fall down at the sides giving the illusion of bangs, and catching her reflection in the window she decided that she had done a decent job considering what she had to work with.
 
She spotted Merlin immediately and gave a weak wave, heading over to the table when she noticed that he was not alone.
 
Now, a sober Gwen would have smiled and sat down pleasantly whilst seething underneath and curious as to why this meeting had been called. A drunk Gwen would have been initially confused and angry before breaking in to tears and telling them both how much she loved them.
 
The incredibly hungover Gwen just stood there and said, “Oh hell no.”

[Merlin Emrys]

"It's good to see you, married life still treating you well?" Merlin asked with a grin, feeling good about this idea already. He was sure they'd be making up in thirty seconds, just as soon as.... oh dear.

All his good feelings about the meeting evaporated the minute Gwen stepped through that door, looking impeccably perfect and yet unmistakably morning-after, it was like some kind of hangover chic, and only someone like Gwen would have been able to pull it off so perfectly.
Hungover Gwen was not the kind of happy camper who would make this meeting work, hungover anybody was not a happy camper, an assumption only enforced by the first words out of her mouth.

All the more reason for him to follow through exactly as he had planned to.
"Gwen!" He greeted her with forced cheer "So lovely to see you, both of you, do sit down, we haven't ordered yet, why don't you get a coffee or something?" That part hadn't been in his plan, but it would probably help.

Theatrically looking at his watch, he stood up.

"Oh, is that the time? I completely forgot, I have to go and...clean... something...for Arthur." He really should have come prepared with an excuse, but it was said now, so instead of fretting over it he just made a beeline for the exit.

When he saw Arthur in the car outside, he didn't even stop to wonder why the hell he was there, putting it down to one of those strange serendipitous moments (later, he would think about it) and jumping in.
"Drive!"

[Deleted]

“Very well, thank you,” Marian replied warmly, beaming at the question. Her and Robin had been married several months now and she was still just as happy as the first day. This life was all she had ever wanted, and she was pleased to find that it was just as wonderful as she had always imagined. “Our house is finally starting to take shape. We finished the living...”

Noticing that Merlin was no longer paying attention to her, Marian’s words trailed off, her brows furrowing a bit in confusion and irritation. Turning to follow his gaze, she was completely surprised to find Gwen standing behind her. It had been so long since she had seen the other woman that she felt a sudden swell of longing and remorse and wanted nothing more than to get to her feet and hug her best friend. Then Gwen spoke and the newlywed looked completely stricken. Swallowing down her hurt, Marian’s gaze turned to Merlin, and turned accusatory. This was no coincidence, that much was obvious even without his guilty rambling.

Her glare turned downright deadly when he made up a terrible excuse and practically ran for the exit. She could have easily done the same, she had come here on his invitation after all, but something made her stay; probably her own stubbornness. A few moments ago she had actually wanted to speak to Gwen, but seeing how unhappy her former best friend was to see her that desire had faded. She wasn’t about to make this easy on Gwen either, though, no matter how poorly she was feeling. Working at a hospital had it’s perks, but it also had it’s downsides, like the slight illness she had picked up recently.

“Well, that was subtle,” she ventured, her voice flat and emotionless.

[Guinevere]

Gwen glared at her friend as he made his lame excuses and despite the fact he probably couldn’t see it behind the sunglasses she was wearing she upped the wattage of it as she watched him run out of the café. When Marian spoke she snapped her head round to look at the woman and instantly regretted it. Her head, really, really hurt. What she needed right now, was some cotton wool, lots of it, that she could just tape all around her head and just lie down and relax. Or, alternatively, she could still be in bed sleeping it off rather than having to come out here and talk to miss self righteous.

Married life clearly agreed with her. She looked good. Maybe it was all that happiness and love, maybe it gave a person a kind of glow that meant that whatever they wearing it didn’t matter because they were happy and in love. Ugh. She wanted to throw up, and not just because of the hangover now. Although she had to admit that for the most part it was jealousy. How come Marian got to marry for love? How was that fair? She didn’t even organise anything?!

She slumped down into the chair opposite Marian, deciding that leaving the café seemed like much more effort in the end. She motioned the waiter over as she said, “Nothing about Merlin is subtle, otherwise he would have got that ear reduction I keep recommending.”

Censoring was not an option this morning. Normally she just would have thought that and said something pleasant and sweet about him instead but she just couldn’t be bothered. She was too hungover, too angry and too sick of all of this to be watching what she was saying. Potentially that could make things worse between her and Marian but right now, she couldn’t even bring herself to care.

The waiter stood, pen poised and ready to take the order, “A pot of tea. And when I say a pot of tea I mean a pot of tea, a very large pot of tea. NO milk, not today. What would you like Mrs Locksley?”

[Deleted]

Marian was not sure whether to be hopeful or anxious when Gwen decided to stay instead of rushing out after Merlin. After the comment about their mutual best friend’s ears, though, she decided that neither description was accurate. She could not believe that Gwen could say such a thing about Merlin, or that she was really that shallow and obsessed with looks to have actually suggested such a thing to him in the past, and more than once nonetheless. Yes, Gwen had always been obsessed with fashion and makeovers, but recommending physical alterations was a far cry from a new wardrobe.

“I happen to like his ears. They suit him,” Marian bristled, glaring at the other woman coldly before busying herself by looking at the menu. That was the root of this whole thing, though, was it not? Thinking Gwen was ‘the other woman’ in the first place? It was still something that Marian regretted, and felt bad for, but seeing this side of her friend was lessening that guilt considerably. And to think that she had been about to call Gwen to apologise and work things out after seeing the article in the paper!

Needless to say, she was grateful when the waiter appeared for a temporary distraction. Her stomach rumbling at the thought of food, she put on her best smile when she looked at the man who was already getting a very cold and demanding reception from Gwen.

“I will have the ‘Bright Sunshiny Day’ special, please. Sausage, whole wheat toast, and I would like the eggs runny. Oh, and a large orange juice,” Marian ordered, folding her menu and handing it to the waiter with an almost frighteningly wide smile to make up for Gwen’s lack of manners. “Thank you.”

[Guinevere]

Guinevere’s comment hadn’t come with any serious intention but now that Marian had taken it as such, with her cold tone and glare, she was prepared to be a little less humorous. Good. She didn’t want to polite right now, least of all the woman sitting opposite to her now, and they were going to skip the pleasantries and fake politeness. Excellent. The gloves are off so you better bring it. Gwen clasped her hands on the table and smiled coldly at her, her glare still hidden behind the sunglasses she was wearing. However before she could reply Marian rhymed off her order to the waiter and Gwen had to focus on not throwing up.

She would not be able to sit here whilst the woman ate that, just the th0ought of it was almost making her dash for the bathroom. And losing the faculties of one’s stomach was not very classy when arguing with one’s current opposition. Marian, the friend that may have rushed after her to hold her hair, would probably just sit back and smirk and shout ‘you deserve it’ or some equally as self righteous holier than thou statement.

Once the waiter had departed she looked at Marian and continuing the conversation (if that’s what two statements could be called), said, “Well, next time you catch him standing in front of the mirror trying to flatten them and not listening to such helpful advice such as, ‘grow your hair’, ‘use a bit of make up’ or ‘they’re not as bad as you think’, you can tell him that and see how far you get.”

She pulled her white bag towards her and snapped it open pulling out a bottle of nail varnish remover and some cotton wool. “So,” she said, opening the bottle, the smell hopefully enough to block out whatever Marian had ordered, “how is your husband?”

Missing my company? she managed not to add just in time.

[Deleted]

Even the waiter seemed aware of the tension between the two women and once the orders were placed he wasted no time in getting out of there. Alone again, Marian’s smile fell away.

“I will. I believe it is better to encourage him to be comfortable with his looks than to point out extreme ways he can change them,” she said. Merlin had magic, after all, and it was not a stretch of the imagination to think that, pushed too far, he might do something drastic to himself with it, and the outcome might not be so good. Of course she knew she was sounding uppity and self righteous, but she didn’t care. She loved Merlin dearly and the fact that it was Gwen saying these things about him somehow made them that much worse. They had all been so close once, and now... she had seen Gwen angry before, when the girl turned her hurt and hatred upon another, but never once had Marian imagined that one day it would be her in on the receiving end of it.

When the conversation turned to the usual pleasantries of even the most distance acquaintances, an air of sadness settled over her. The question was something Gwen should have already known, would have known not long ago, and certainly wouldn’t have asked so informally.

“He is well, thank you,” Marian replied quietly. “We are doing well. We are... very happy.”

The smell of the nail varnish remover suddenly struck her nose, and she was sure she had never smelled anything so vile. her nausea rose again.

[Guinevere]

Gwen poured the liquid on to the cotton wool and began to clean one of her nails as Marian talked about her husband. It was annoying how much it piqued her interest the fact that the other woman did not sound entirely convinced about her answer. Looking up at her she saw that she in actual fact looked a little pale, a little sad…or just a little sick. Ignoring the wash of concern that washed over her she smiled and said, “well that’s just wonderful, I’m so glad all that effort wasn’t put to waste.”

The smile disappeared quickly as she looked back down at her nails and continued, “and don’t worry, I’m sure no one will notice that you’re miserable when you tell them how wonderful you’re newlywed life is.”

Looking back up at the woman she said, “look you cant lie to me, you see I can tell the difference between someone who is telling the truth, and someone who is lying. So it’s not all marital bliss then? Trouble in paradise already? I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to look physically sick when talking about your recent marriage. Unless, of course, you‘re knocked up already, and looking at you, it does look like you’ve gained a couple pounds.”

Oh she shouldn’t have said that. That was really bad but she was annoyed, she was hungover and really she had no excuse. She just shouldn’t have said that.

[Deleted]

Miserable? Marian’s brow furrowed as she looked at Gwen in confusion. The statement couldn’t have been further from the truth, at least when it came to her marriage. Marian was happy, blissfully so. She was enjoying renovating their first home, a task much more enjoyable than many had made her believe; she still attended school when it was in session, and worked at the hospital part time, but she knew when she returned home Robin would be waiting for her with open arms. Perhaps her favourite part, though, was to wake in the morning with him sleeping soundly beside her. That brief moment was always the most beautiful and peaceful of the day. So yes, in her marriage she was happy; it was in the rest of her life, particularly in regards to the woman across from her, that she could not claim such bliss. She was trying to figure out how to phrase this, to extend the olive branch, when Gwen continued talking, the words getting more and more hurtful as she went. By the time she was finished, Marian looked absolutely stricken. Silence fell over them for a long, uncomfortable moment.

Gwen couldn’t know, of course; she couldn’t know just how deep her words had cut, for she wasn’t the only one who had kept secrets during the friendship. Gwen had lied and snuck around behind her back to ultimately make her happy, but Marian’s secrets had been to protect her friend, to keep her from doing something stupid like seeking vengeance, and in hiding the incident and her injury from her, Marian had also had to hide the resultant complications and fears.

“If this is the real you, this cold and callous person who chooses her words carefully with the sole purpose of cutting as deeply as possible, then you should definitely know all about lying. You certainly had me fooled into thinking you were warm and kind hearted.” The words were chosen just as deliberately, but the raw pain was evident in Marian’s voice. “Do not assume to know anything about my life since you have chosen to remove yourself from it.”

It was at that moment, in possibly the quickest food delivery in history, that the waiter returned and set her plate piled high with food in front of her. The lingering smell of the nail varnish remover mixed with the fresh yet greasy breakfast food was too much. Rising quickly from the table and almost knocking her chair over in the process, Marian bolted for the washroom.

[Guinevere]

Gwen paused in her nail cleaning when Marian spoke and looked up at her, smirking. Who was this woman? Who was she this pious, honest and whiter than white woman who could judge so correctly? Gwen wasn’t a nice person, she knew she wasn’t a nice person, she knew it the minute she had met Meg and could match the evil woman word for word and thought for fought. She knew she wasn’t a nice person when she realised she was attracted to Gaston, when she thought about revenge and in some cases acted on it, when she realised she would never ever be good enough for someone like Lancelot (the first one) because she wasn’t a nice person. She didn’t need some snooty saint to tell her that.



She was about to reply when said saint leaped out of her seat in the direction of the bathroom. Gwen knew why. She had seen the woman grow pale as the food was placed in front of her and was physically resembling what Gwen’s insides were feeling. Almost on autopilot she got up form her own seat and hurried after Marian towards the toilet and on entering the cubical made sure to sweep back the girls lovely long brown hair into her hand, whilst tearing out her own bobble from hers to keep it all together.



Why was she doing this? By rights she should still be sitting there at the table, or better yet, leaving, and yet here she was standing behind her old friend, holding her hair and rubbing her back. But when she really thought about it, no one should be in this kind of state alone, no matter who they are or what they had done. She may not be nice but she wasn’t completely inhuman.



Rubbing the girls back she said, “I’ve always been this way, you’ve just never been on the receiving end of it. And it’s not like you never said anything, or implied anything that hurt me- Here, take a bit of toilet roll -To think I was even capable of such a thing, I know I always quite fancied Robin but come on! Well maybe I won’t make a liar out of you. I’ll just live up to all your expectations- don’t worry I’ve got some wipes in my bag, I’ll run back and get them later and we can put Arthur’s shirt over your top- what is wrong with you Marian? Are you ill? Have you seen a doctor?”

[Deleted]

Marian did not expect Gwen to follow her, did not expect her to care what shape she was in; on the contrary, she had expected the girl to take the opportunity to leave their uncomfortable reunion behind and just walk out. So when she felt her hair behind pulled aside and her back rubbed gently as she lost the contents of her stomach in the toilet, she couldn’t help the struggled sob that accompanied them.

She loved her husband and wouldn’t trade him for the world, but she missed her best friend terribly.

The words were much less comforting, but the gesture seemed to cancel them out somehow. Maybe it was just her overemotional state, but Marian just didn’t care right now what had happened, who had hurt whom: she just wanted to forget all of it; she just wanted it all to go back to how it was. Even once the retching had stopped she still sat there, head resting on her arm that lay on the seat and tears still running down her cheeks.

“I should never have suspected it, I should not have thought that of you,” Marian said, her voice choked and hoarse. “After he left me, after Cimorene... the way you were both acting... I never meant to hurt you.”

The stubborn part of her still wanted to defend her actions, to claim she had had every right to be suspicious considering how they had been sneaking around but this time she silenced it. Gwen had not been the only one keeping secrets, and finally Marian’s had come back to haunt her. For the past few days, as she felt worse and worse, her fears increased. She couldn’t quelch them, and while there were other explanations for her illness she could not seem to let herself believe them; to do so, to get her hopes up that this could be something good, could be devastating. One hand went to her torso where the scar lay hidden beneath her clothing. “I’m scared...”

To admit it aloud was somehow even more terrifying.

[Guinevere]

Oh now she was crying, well that just put the cherry on top of the situation didn’t it. Of course it could be because she was throwing up, that could bring anyone to tears, but she couldn’t help but think it was what she was saying as well, she was making Marian cry. It wasn’t as fun as Meg always made it out to be when she burst in to tears, it actually felt kind of bad. Not to mention her stomach was already churning at the sight of Marian throwing up, her hangover was still in full swing and she had to look at the cubical wall to stop herself from pushing the other woman aside so she could get a shot.
 
Cimorene. Of course.
 
She should have thought about that, but it slipped her mind, she conveniently forgot about it because it suited her better just to think that Marian was being unfair. To forget that maybe, maybe she had reason to think the things she thought. Still rubbing the girls back she said, “Well you did. But I suppose I hurt you too so we’ll just call it even and leave it at that.”
 
It was easier to say that right now, she may still be a little annoyed but there was nothing worse than kicking someone when they’re down and right now Marian was really down. When she said she was scared, Gwen tore her eyes away from the wall and looked down at her friend. Crouching down to as much of her side as she could she wrapped one of her arms around the girl and said softly, “Why are you scared?”

[Deleted]

Finally feeling that she had her stomach under control again, Marian wiped her mouth with a bit of loo roll and flushed the toilet. She tried to take a deep breath but thought better of it. The bathroom was clean, at least, so there was no unpleasant smell to set her off again, but her sobbing made her breath just shudder and prevented the desired effect.

There was one thing she could take some comfort in, though, and for the first time in a long time that one thing was Gwen’s words. No longer stinging or cruel, it only made her cry harder, though this time the tears were not entirely sad or fearful. She had never been one to cry before, usually she bottled it up or turned everything to anger, but now that she had started she could not seem to stop.

“I am so sorry,” she said between her tears. “For everything, for not trusting you.” She should have trusted her with Robin, and with herself. She should have trusted Gwen with everything, with her accident and her fears. She should never have shut her out, no matter what the reasoning. “I did not want you involved... I wanted to protect you. You would have gone after him, and he did not mean it... it was an accident, and I was fine, Djaq fixed it.”

She had never really talked about it before since that night. She had cleared the air with Allan, she had confessed her fears to Robin not all that long ago but she had never really talked about it, she even tried not to think about it until it became impossible. “I should have listened to her. She told me to see a doctor but I would not go.”

Almost unconsciously she moved her arms around Gwen as well and hugged the girl weakly. “I am sorry.”